


Seibu no Tenshi (Angel of the West)

by Anonymous



Series: The Blossoms of Time [7]
Category: Sengoku Jidai | Sengoku Period RPF
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-04-18 02:41:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 56,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4689392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Every Angel must serve her Demon"</p>
<p>Having been born to an Azai retainer Tenshi Mei is fairly content with her life. Yet when, at 14, the Azai are wiped off the face of the earth by Nobunaga Tenshi is quickly whisked off as a hostage of the Uesugi. Though returned to two old friends it's a rocky situation to be in and that's only the beginning. From the very beginning, the marriage of Azai Nagamasa and Oichi, to the very end, the years following the Battle of Osaka, Tenshi constantly finds the ground under her feet is crumbling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning of an Alliance

“Hikari” mumbled a voice, gently shaking my shoulder, “Hikari wake up.” I tried to push the hand away in an epic battle and found I had to use both my forces rather than just one and still proved pointless. At the loss of my great battle I opened my eyes to see Nana. Nana, who had been given the nickname by my father as she resembled Chosokabe Motochika's wife, had looked after me since the day I was born. My mother, Toyoa Sakura, was from a branch of the Hattori clan and she had died from complications in child birth. I had lived but she had not.

“Mei Hikari if you do not get up this instance I will let Keiji's snake run wild in your room!” Nana threatened. I screeched and was out of bed in only a few seconds, I knew she was joking but if any kind of persuasion worked it was that. The thing didn't even appear to have teeth and I was still terrified of it. Nana laughed softly and patted my hair,  
“There, there, no snakes in here.” I glared at her, puffing my cheeks out a little as I did,  
“That was mean, Nana-chan” I whined. Left irritated I even turned my nose up at the apple she tried to give me. I loved apples and the time of year I could have them were the best times of year.  
“Now, now Hikari you've got to eat. See you can have apples again” Nana grinned brightly. Nana's grins were always bright. She'd always tip her head slightly to the side and squeeze her eyes tight shut. It was like the very sun radiated from her. This lovely over the top smile always managed to persuade me, rain or shine, happy or sad. So with that persuasion I ate the apple without complaint.

Once I had eaten the apple, with no complaint of course, Nana helped me get dressed as she always did.  
“Can I wear my favourite?” I asked excitedly, clapping my hands together in anticipation for Nana's answer. Over the last few months I had been forced to wear Yukatas every day and I did not like them because they were always a very plain, light colour...well the ones I wore certainly were. I should have been thankful I was given no other choice really as we didn't necessarily have continuous bright summer days, in fact it would have been better if we had, it was instead very humid. Yet now, now Summer had handed over it's crown to Autumn and our days had began to cool and the weather obeyed it's new ruler. Nana sighed at my request,  
“I suppose you can, but no getting it dirty okay.”  
“Yes Nana-chan” I nodded.

My favourite was a red kimono with flowers adorning the left side, from shoulder to foot. The flowers were Sakura flowers and as far as my knowledge went it had belonged to my Mother when she was my age. The obi that came with it was just a golden rope that had a moon and a sun on one end of the string from the knot, which almost reached my toes, and a sun and moon on the other.  
“Goodness me girl” Nana grumbled as she brushed my hair now that my kimono was on, “your hair is lovely but it doesn't half get knotty quickly!” That was a little too true. My hair, unlike my brothers' and father's, was very long, thick and dark auburn in colour compared to their hair, which was thin and black. My hair had never been cut short in anyway, except cutting off very messy ends or the one time I got honey in it and it stuck. I intended to keep it that way as well, when it got too long I'd just wear it higher. The longer it got, the higher I wore it. My main reason for keeping my hair so long was because I loved the elaborate and sometimes gold covered hair that belonged to the ladies who I saw from time to time, they needed very long hair for that so that became my goal.  
“You better have a maid willing to brush your hair for you with the intention you have” Nana sighed, “you won't be able to do it alone.”

To tell the truth I had inherited almost everything from my mother. My hair, my eyes, my face shape. There was just one thing that set me apart from her. I possessed not a single wish to become a Ninja as she had. I knew that my mother was the daughter of a noble man and his concubine, though which noble man was completely unknown to me. However she can't have liked him very much because she took her mother's place, replacing her as a ninja in her home town of Iga. From there she was sent to serve the Azai, in particular Mei Yorikane, my Father. You can queue the whole long happy marriage that ends in the tragic death of the wife in childbirth. Ah, I see I have deviated from my subject quite a lot...it's a terrible habit of mine, do forgive me. Yes, I had no desire to be a Ninja, as was expected of me. I wished to be a Samurai.

Now I'm very sorry to completely crush any inspiration you have gotten from that of a little girl realising that she doesn't have to follow exactly what is expected of her but I'm going to. This was a load of ridiculousness. There were next to no onna-bugeisha now, though one did reign supreme over my brothers' history books. Tomoe Gozen. On the Minamoto side she was famous for riding into battle and decapitating the Taira's best general. I had once voiced my wish to my second eldest brother, Saichiro, with the example of Tomoe but he had laughed and ruffled my hair (much to Nana's annoyance) asking me,  
“Do you really want to cause so much disruption?” So I never spoke a word of it again to anyone. That became my true goal, pretty hair could wait, this was true determination. 

I did, however, know there was one person who maybe, just maybe, could help me in my bid for warrior status. Azai Nagamasa. He was the son of the man my Father served, Azai Hisamasa and close friends with my two eldest brothers, Kenichi and Saichiro. My family were held up quite high with the Azai, Hisamasa had personally trained my two eldest brothers with his son (which lead to their friendship) and he'd even gone as far to consider one of my brothers for the marriage of his eldest daughter, though that never went ahead and my eldest brother married Saito Kamaya and Saichiro married a half sister of Chosokabe Motochika, whom we had all affectionately named Kita. In fact, come to think of it we were so high up that we had a separate castle from the Azai. Retainers and their families would usually live in rooms allocated to them with any retainers they might have under the alias of family yet Hisamasa seemed to love the Mei so much he gave us a small castle and a tiny village that was almost a hamlet.

From the village we had taken a few servants and made sure all the residents were in good health. There was so little crime we had no need, well almost no need, to get involved with that aspect. It was lovely. Everyone in the village knew each of us by name and face and we knew them just as well. The village was the light of our lives. The retreat from the never ending defeats we had once suffered before the Azai became retainers of the Rokkaku. Now they were planning an assault on them in secret, led by Nagamasa to test him, if they succeeded then Hisamasa would step down

“Nana-chan, what's the hurry?” I asked as she hurried me through the great corridors of the castle.  
“You'll see, you'll see” Nana answered, “we're late already.”  
“Late for wha- ah!” I let out a screech as I tripped over the skirt of my kimono. Nana scooped me up without a word and carried on running at terminal velocity. She rushed me out the castle, knocking maids and retainers a like. Nana had little regard for the differences in social class, she'd raised people of both the divisions so she couldn't really care less.

Outside in the now cool, crisp and clean air my lungs found themselves very grateful. When you have breathed nothing but humidity for months nothing quite measures your sudden appreciation for the cold and damp air of Autumn.  
“Are we going to the lake, Nana-chan?” I asked as she set me down and let me walk over the still parched grass, still a little yellow and lifeless.  
“Sort of ” she answered. I could tell she was thankful for the lack of wet grass, it's be no good if my shoes got ruined now.

When we got to the small rise above the lake she left me there. I wasn't alone however.  
“Good morning, Hikari” my Father smiled at me. However I found myself enticed by the man and boy stood with him. The man was tall and thin, like a stalk...especially as his neck certainly extended beyond the normal, far, far beyond it. It was clear he was on my Father's band of the aristocracy as he wore very similar clothes, however these were clearly too big for him. The sleeves looked more like separate garments they were so baggy and the shoulder pads looked more like they were wings. The boy however was the opposite. He had a round, chubby face with a big grin on it rather than a thin one with sticky out cheek bones and what looked like an intended frown. His clothes fit perfectly rather than the “little too well” that I had expected. His grin was nice and when I did see his eyes I saw that they shone with a cheeky look about them within the green irises.

“Good morning Chichi-ue” I said quickly, realising that my staring eyes had much outstayed their welcome. He laughed lightly,  
“As you can see she's a little absent minded.”  
“I'm sure they'll get on just fine, he's just the same” the stalk man replied, not sharing Father's little laugh. To break the awkward silence left by the man's attempt at a smile Father gave me a gentle push,  
“Go on you two, go play by the lake” he smiled. I gave him an apprehensive glance before having my hand pulled by one that was a little bigger than mine.  
“Come on!” It was the boy. Before any protest could be given he pulled me with him down the hill.

Eventually I managed to pull my hand from his clammy grip yet this proved to be quite the mistake. He immediately tripped and fell, having been using me as support, but, in all sense of the words, he just rolled with it. He giggled as he rolled down the hill, definitely enjoying himself.  
“No! Stop, you'll fall in the lake!” I shouted. Either idiot there ignored me or he didn't hear me...at the minute I'm betting on being ignored. Seeing no other option I scrunched up a bit of my kimono in each hand so I wouldn't trip over. Still, I was pretty sure Nana was going to let Keiji's snake lose in my room, my slippers were going to be a very sorry looking state.

I clashed my way down the hill, displacing great boulders with my miniature feet. It stung my toes and it almost came as no surprised when I tripped over one of these boulders and fell face first onto the grass. No matter. I got up, grabbing my skirt again and carried on down. I wasn't going to make it down quick enough but I was certainly going to try.

SPLASH

“Help!” there was a kind of plop sound as the boy's head went under the water for a second, “I can't” the same noise, “swim.” Thankfully by this point I was at the water's edge. I reached out my hand, myself now hanging dangerously over the edge. Every time I reached out my hand and he tried to grab it he was always too far away even with every lurch he gave.  
“Kick your legs, it might help” I said, my voice a little strained as I was leaning so far over. He tried and finally I managed to grab a hold of his now soaked hand. Though I had to us both hands to pull him onto the bank at least his head wasn't going under water any more.

“You're strong for a girl” he panted, both of us were sprawled on the ground. Our tiny bodies were not used to the excursion of trying not to drown just yet.  
“Of course I am, I'm the daughter of a Samurai and a Ninja, I have to be. I'm even stronger than my brother, Sugimaru, and he's ten!”  
“What's your name anyway? I'm Higuchi Yoroku, you can just call me Yoroku though, I don't like it when people call me by my full name” he asked, he must have ignored what I said.  
“Mei Hikari” I answered.  
“Okay, I'll call you Hikari-chan then” he said, pulling the same grin.  
“Just Kari” I corrected.”  
“Okay then, Kari-chan” he continued to grin. I had to settle for that. 

“Goodness me!” Shouted a rather angry voice from half way down the hill.  
“Help” Yoroku squeaked, trying to to hide behind me, his heavy sodden clothes appearing to make it rather hard for him to move.  
“You'll catch your death of cold!” The voice shouted. It was heavily accented and a couple of the sounds were in no way pronounced correctly but we both got the gist of what they were saying, the voice was also very strong and proud but also very feminine. I finally turned to look in the direction to see a woman galloping down the hill. Her hair was cropped to just below her ears and light brown in colour, her face was young looking and she had bright blue eyes. She looked like a foreigner.,  
“She's one of those people from Europe” Yoroku explained, he'd since given up trying to hide he was sopping wet.  
“Why is she looking after you?” I asked, my Father was particularly good friends with a foreign man but he hadn't let his wife or daughter look after me.  
“Kenshin-dono likes her Dad so mine asked if she could look after me” Yoroku answered.

“Higuchi Yoroku you are in such trouble” she shouted at him though her face suddenly got much angrier and she turned to me in one swift spin and glared at me, “did you push him in?!” I almost stumbled back at her question, I was far too surprised to think of a proper answer for a minute or so.  
“Why would I do that?” I replied, genuinely confused.  
“Only a guilty person would say such a thing” she snapped, “well you're still young so I'm sure God will forgive you.” I looked at Yoroku, my eyes trying to put across my begging for an explanation but it was pointless as he couldn't really give one. The woman shook her head and said something in a language foreign to my ears before dragging Yoroku off, leaving a small puddle of lake water where he had been stood.

Like pretty much everyone in the country I believed in our fusion between Shinto, the religion that had existed at least for as long as our history books had, and Buddhism which we had adopted from the Chinese. Of course because of this questions ran through my head like wildfire. Which of the kami did she mean? Or was she referring to this new religion that had been brought over that had only one that everyone worshipped and if you asked me was down right weird. I think it might have been the new religion.

I plonked myself down unhappily on one of the stones, now in a very foul mood. How dare she accuse me of a such a thing! I'd helped him, not tried to drown him!  
“Mei Hikari!” Roared a rather angry voice. Ah...I see she told Nana. I didn't turn around to look at Nana though, I just sat and waited while she shouted at me from ages away. The water really did look lovely today, a few leaves had started to fall and had bejewelled the water which made it look all the mo-  
“Mei Hikari did you push that boy in the lake?!” Nana demanded. She was right in front of me, quite literally. Her pretty face, which many had said was worthy of a noble woman, was only a few centimetres away from my own and her walnut coloured eyes were staring directly into my own much darker ones.  
“No” I answered simply.  
“Oh, okay then” she sighed, standing up straight while I stared at her in surprise, “I thought she was lying, she didn't go on about her one god business did she?” I nodded and Nana told me to forget the woman had ever said anything about it and to just wait.

Waiting was the dullest thing that had happened all day. I hated waiting for things, I was naturally impatient, which was a trait I had got from one of my brothers. That would be Sugimaru actually, the one I was stronger than. He was tall and skinny, and he, shown from the way his body had developed compared to my other brothers, showed little interest in becoming a warrior. It just didn't interest him. He spent a lot of time holed up in his room, reading and studying, the impatience coming into play when he had no more sources of entertainment. All of my other brothers had at lest decent build, if not impressive in the case of Nobusuke, the third where as he was weak looking. Granted sometimes I felt a little sorry for him because Keiji, the fourth, would occasionally mock him for it but I didn't really feel sorry for him, he wasn't exactly nice to anyone.

“Boo!” Laughed a voice, making me jump and almost fall off my perch.  
“Hey Imouto-chan” Keiji laughed, “what'cha thinking about.”  
“Sugimaru” I answered with a shrug as he sat in front of me, that ridiculous grin on his face.  
“What about him?” Keiji asked, picking at the individual blades of grass, only looking at me for a second.  
“Just that I got my impatience from him” I shrugged.  
“At least you can admit it” Keiji laughed, “it'd be one of these miracles that these foreigners say their one god did.” I giggled,  
“True” I smiled. Keiji, without fail, always managed to cheer me up, though I wasn't supposed to have such a thing, I guess he was my favourite out of all my brothers.


	2. Sakichi

We spent the entire afternoon playing with each other and many afternoons to follow. By the time we were seven we knew everything about one another and decided that, where ever life would take us we would always stay together.  
"Hey, Hikari-chan" Yoroku asked, "are we going to spend forever together?"  
"Forever" I giggled in answer, "even if our parents fall out."  
"That reminds me. I've never seen your Haha-ue, where is she?" Yoroku asked. I bowed my head,  
"Haha-ue died when I was born" I answered. I was tackled to the ground with a hug.  
"Sorry. Sorry. Sorry" Yoroku repeated over and over again.  
"It's okay, I don't remember her" I smiled but I returned the hug and squeezed him to my chest.

"Hey, Yoroku" I said, "look over there, who's that?" We had been sat writing in the dust of the ground where the grass had been warn away, Father had finally begun to teach me and Yoroku was giving me a bit of extra help. Yet a boy who looked about our age was stood atop of the hill and he'd caught my attention.  
"I don't know, let's go find out" Yoroku replied, getting to his feet, pulling me up with him. He dragged me up the hill towards the boy.  
"Hey! Who are you?" He shouted to the boy, making him jump. He pointed to himself, looking rather frightened.  
"Yoroku you scared him" I said, pushing him a little. He let go of me and I walked slowly to the boy who backed off a little.  
"Hello, I'm Mei Hikari, who are you?" I asked, smiling.  
"H-h-hello, I'm Ishida Sa-sakichi" he answered stuttering. I grinned,  
"Don't mind Yoroku, he's just not very good at talking to people."  
"I am" Yoroku protested. Sakichi gave a very quiet, nervous laugh and I grinned back.  
"He doesn't like being wrong either" I giggled.

That afternoon was spent much like the very first, we spent our times making flower chains, though Sakichi took some persuading.  
“Come on! It's fun” Yoroku insisted, trying to put the chain he'd already made on Sakichi's head. He yelped and pushed Yoroku away, moving back and tidying up his hair.  
“Sakichi that's mean” I said, putting on a whiny voice, “why won't you wear one?”  
“They look stupid” he grumbled. Yoroku's lip quivered and he glared at Sakichi through tears, tore up the chain and ran off. I pushed Sakichi a little,   
“You didn't have to say that.” I then turned around and ran off. Sakichi gave a sigh and sat on the ground, hugging his knees to his chest.

“Yoroku!” I called, wondering where he could be, “Yoroku!” Why did Sakichi have to be so mean all of a sudden? He was fine before so what had caused this sudden flip? What was with his dislike of the flower chains anyway, they were only flowers and flowers were pretty.   
“Yoroku!” I called and I finally found him sat behind a tree on the very edge of the forest, “there you are!” He sniffled and turned around, ignoring me.  
“Yoroku” I grumbled, “don't be like this, I didn't do anything!” He gave a huff and turned back to face me.

I sat down across from him and asked,  
“Why are you so upset? I know what Sakichi said was mean but you don't normally run off if someone's mean to you.”  
“Kenshin-dono and Aya-gozen taught me how to do it and Aya-gozen said that I was very good at it” he mumbled. I crawled across and hugged him,  
“I like them, they're very pretty.” He smiled and kissed my forehead,  
“Thank you, Hikari”

We heard a loud growl from a little deeper into the forest and both panicked. I grabbed Yoroku's hand and ran, almost yanking his arm out of it's socket as he attempted to catch up with me. The growl sounded again, but it was closer and there were great explosions of thunder to accompany it. This day honestly couldn't get much worse, we were being chased by a bear and being little as we were we weren't going to last long. As we passed the lake and ran past Sakichi I grabbed his collar and tugged. He attempted to get up but seemed to keep tripping over his own feet as he tried again and again.

“Come on Sakichi!” I screamed at him, we really didn't have time to wait. He tried to get up once more and finally succeed so I grabbed his hand and we carried on running, still being pursued by the giant mass of lethal brown fur. I'm not sure what brought me down but something did and while Yoroku managed to let go I brought Sakichi down with me. The bear had caught up now and immediately took a swipe at us. Sakichi grabbed me and rolled to the side out of the way, just, the claws had been only a couple of centimetres from us. 

Yet before it could swipe at us again another crash of thunder sounded and it slumped, dead where it had stood. I actually didn't have much time to register this as all the terror got the better of me and I burst into tears.   
“Hey! You're getting my jacket w- oh never mind” Sakichi grumbled. Instead of pushing me away as he intended he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. I was very grateful for this and held onto him even when he did try and push me away. 

When we did finally stand up to look at who had saved us from the bear we all got quite the shock. Stood on the hill was Oda Nobunaga. Now, this man was someone to be feared greatly. At the age of 26 he had defeated the massive army of the Imagawa with just 3,000 men while they boasted at least 25,000. So the three of us were staring in admiration more then anything else, if there was anyone you wanted to be like when you became a warrior it was Oda Nobunaga.

“Now, now, Sakichi” he called down the hill, placing the...thing he'd killed the bear with over his shoulder, “why are you being so mean to your friends? You almost got them eaten by a bear!” Sakichi immediately burst into tears, yelled an apology at us and then ran up the hill, bawling his eyes out.  
“KICHIHOSHI!” Yelled an angry voice, the name bellowed from the lungs of a woman who was probably around the same age as Nobunaga. She was carrying a three or four year old and giving Nobunaga quite the glare.  
“Why did you make that boy cry?! I've told you, all the children are going to hate you” she snapped. She then turned to Yoroku and I and smiled at us,  
“Come up here children! Your friend is here!”

I glanced at Yoroku and then grabbed his hand and pulled him up the hill. The woman had caught Sakichi and he was hiding in her side, only peering at us as he used her hakama to cover most of his face. Yoroku let go of my hand and stayed back while I walked to him slowly,  
“Sakichi?” He glared at me and turned away.  
“Now, now, if you don't forgive your friends you're being mean too” the woman sighed, shaking her head. She gently patted his mop of brown hair and he peaked out at me again. I turned around and grabbed Yoroku's hand, yanking him forward.

“We're sorry Sakichi” Yoroku mumbled, squeezing my hand gently. I held out my other hand to Sakichi and he slowly let go of the woman's hakama and took my hand. I smiled at him and squeezed his hand. I then let go of Yoroku and have Sakichi another hug. He took a while to hug back but eventually he gave in and almost squeezed me to death, making me laugh like crazy.

“Honestly Shin, you're unbelievable” Oda grumbled, he had been watching the children with interest. Yamada Shin laughed, hitching up her son,  
“I'm a mother Kichihoshi, it's what I do.”  
“I really wish you would stop calling me that” Oda snapped, “my name is Nobunaga, just because you're older than me doesn't mean you get to patronize me!” Shin laughed harder,  
“I'm a mother Kichihoshi, it's what I do” she repeated, giggling.

“My, my, what are Oda-dono and Shin-hime doing here?” Called a voice. We all turned around to look at my eldest brother, Kenichi. Though he was kind he could be big headed sometimes, and a little rude, much like his friend Azai Nagamasa. Kenichi was Father's favourite son – he was clever, strong and occasionally rather brutal. Perfect to bring the Mei back to their former glory! I wasn't too convinced of this because as far as I was concerned Kenichi was too mean.  
“You aught not be so egotistical, you're talking as if you are above us” Shin snapped, “I've found that seven year olds are more pleasant than you.” Safe to say Kenichi went scarlet – though whether this was rage or embarrassment I'll never know.

Anyway, Kenichi had come to call us to dinner. It was certainly a grand dinner as well, much more food than I was ever used to seeing. We never really ate richly, we had the money to but it was just not something we did. Sugimaru wasn't particularly pleased about this amount of food as he had been reading up on Confucianism recently and had taken it perhaps a little too far. It was rather entertaining to watch him fighting against face contortions of anger.

By her request I was sat beside the woman who was a mother. She had her little boy sat on her lap and was quite the smiley woman. She was very tall, in fact she was taller than Nobunaga...everyone was taller than Nobunaga actually, excluding the three of us and the four year old. She has had very long black hair, as long as I wanted mine to be! Her eyes were almost black and very kindly, lighting up even in the dim candle light.

“You're staring” Sakichi hissed, elbowing me in the ribs. I let out a squeak and glared at him,  
“That hurt!” He shrugged,  
“Don't stare at her then.” I frowned at him but turned back to my food, colouring a little as I realised that I had indeed being staring and I took to listening to Sugimaru boring Nobunaga considerably with his ramblings about various texts.   
“Sugimaru” Keiji said, looking up from his own food. Sugimaru looked quite surprised,  
“Yes, anni-ue?”  
“Shut up” Keiji replied, stunning the entire room into silent laughter while Sugimaru went a raging scarlet.

After dinner Nobunaga, wishing to escape Sugimaru, decided he'd take us out to show us the strange contraption he had killed the bear with.  
“What are your names?” He asked as we followed him to the archery training grounds.  
“Hikari” I answered, smiling awkwardly.  
“Yoroku!” Yoroku giggled, bouncing about on the slightly damp grass.  
“Sakichi” Sakichi mumbled, looking away and looking quite unhappy.  
“You're from the north, aren't you, Yoroku” Nobunaga asked, grimacing as he almost tripped over Yoroku.  
“I am! My family serve the Uesugi!” Yoroku yelled. What was he so excited about?

When we came to the archery grounds Nobunaga sat across from us on the floor and almost pulled the gun to pieces. He explained how it had to be lit and the small ball of metal would come flying out of the barrel because the gunpowder was there. Apparently that's what made it so important to keep them dry, gun powder didn't work if it was soggy.  
“Oda-dono?” Yoroku started, he'd asked a lot of questions and looked to be really irritating Nobunaga. Nobunaga gave a sigh,  
“What, Yoroku?”   
“What's it actually called, the whole thing put together?” Nobunaga actually seemed quite relieved, he couldn't find anything wrong with that question,  
“It's called a Tanegashima” he answered.

Nobunaga had us all standing well back once he'd shown us how it worked. It made a deafening crack when ever it was shot and it looked such a hassle to reload. Sakichi spent the whole time with his hands over his ears, he hated loud noises and was almost in tears when Nobunaga stopped using the Tanegashima. His hands didn't seem to be doing enough so I tried to help by pressing my hands over his ears as well. To my surprise he shook me off and glared at me.

“Why were you being mean before?” Yoroku demanded, glaring at Sakichi. We had been left to entertain ourselves outside until the sun went down.  
“When?” Sakichi asked, looking confused, “I thought I apologised.”  
“When you shook her off, she was trying to help you” Yoroku snapped. Sakichi looked at his feet, shuffling uncomfortably on the rock he was sat on,  
“I don't like people touching me.” Yoroku frowned at him,  
“So? She was trying to be helpful.” Sakichi didn't look up, just clasped his hands in his lap.  
“It's okay Sakichi” I said quickly before Yoroku could open his mouth again, “I should have asked.”

We stayed out longer than after dark which annoyed Nana but we had fun so it was no true fuss. We lay together on the now dry ground, pointing up at the stars, laughing together. I was in the middle and while I was already holding Yoroku's hand my other was only resting next to Sakichi's. I had felt bad about before, Sugimaru was like Sakichi, I had to ask for a hug if I wanted one.   
“Is there anyone up there?” Sakichi asked, his hand gently brushing against mine.  
“What do you mean?” I replied.  
“I mean, is anyone you had up there, in the stars now?” Sakichi explained.  
“Haha-ue” I mumbled softly. Sakichi took my hand and I turned my head, looking at him with quite the surprised expression on my face. Even more so as I saw there were tears in his eyes. We were the same.

The moment between the two of us was ruined by Nana racing out and shouting at us,  
“Do you know how late it is! Get inside now!” We all jumped to our feet and raced inside, not wanting to anger her any more.  
“Look at you all!” She snapped as we arrived in front of her, arriving to a glare, “you're all covered in grass.” She brushed us all off and then dragged us to bed, having out stayed our welcome.  
“Goodnight Nana-chan!” I called as she left the room, we must have really annoyed her because she didn't reply.

The two boys were off like logs but I couldn't sleep at all, finding myself to be restless. I didn't want to be the same as Sakichi, or more I didn't want him to be the same as me. One of the times that Yoroku had come his whole family had come as well. His mother had played with him and his brother a lot and I wished that I could have that. Why was it that I was cursed from the beginning, to have no mother at all. Thinking about it all made me slump and I hugged my knees to my chest as I looked at the hangings on the walls.

“Can you not sleep?” Asked a voice, sudden and frightening in the darkness. After I was sure it was just Sakichi I replied,  
“No. Why aren't you still asleep?”   
“Can't sleep either. What I said before, is it upsetting you?” I nodded my head and then remembered he couldn't see me,  
“A little.”

“Did you ever know your Mother?” He asked, uncharacteristically letting curiosity get the better of him.  
“No, she died a few hours after I was born” I answered, resting my chin on the space between my knees.  
“My mother died last year, when she had my sisters” Sakichi sighed, “she was a very good mother. I miss her.” I sighed as well and felt tears well up in my eyes again,  
“I suppose it must be hard on you, knowing what she was like” I mumbled, choking on my words a little, “all I have is the stories my brothers and Chichi-ue tell.”  
“I don't think it really matters, we both lost our mothers and it stops there” Sakichi replied. I smiled,  
“Thank you.”


	3. The Beginning of the End

Three years had passed since I had found out I was almost the same as Sakichi and tensions were slowly building, it was practically a danger to have Yoroku with us. Like Oda had figured out he was from the North, we knew because he said some words in funny ways that neither Sakichi or I had ever heard before. Having him here while tensions were so high was putting a test on all of us, though still young entirely conscious of what was going on.  
Recently tensions had begun to rise between the Azai, whom my family and Sakichi's family served, and Oda who collectively all three (that is the Mei, Ishida and Azai) were serving. Nagamasa was even married to Oda's sister, who was a very beautiful woman named Oichi. Yet that had never seemed to seal the alliance, even though they had three daughters and a son. I'd heard talk of it when passing Ashigaru.

It had been caused when Oda had decided to attack neighbours and old allies once enemies of the Azai, the Asakura. At first Nagamasa had actually wanted to remain neutral, to let the Asakura be destroyed but senior retainers had spoken out against it. The Asakura had been a pain for the Azai but the alliance had changed everything. Say the Asakura didn't lose, what would become of the Azai? So heavy hearted Nagamasa had begun to formalise his break from Oda.

“How about we spend the night in the forest?” Yoroku suggest, twiddling a bit of grass in his hand, we were all bored. Oda had decided it was particularly favoured hunting grounds of his so all the bears were gone.  
“I could go ask Chichi-ue if we can take some things” I grinned, trying to keep the scared expression off my face. It had been an uncomfortable morning, Yoroku had to stay in view most of the time but if we asked, I'm sure they wouldn't mind.  
“Lets go ask now” Sakichi added, all three of us standing at the same time. We ran to the castle until we saw them. The soldiers.   
“What are they doing here?” I asked as we peeked at them through the bushes, “that's not any of our families emblems.”  
“They don't seem to be attacking, there's just a lot of them, perhaps they're a passing army on their way to battle” Yoroku suggested.  
“Come on, we can go ask Chichi-ue or Anni-ue” I said, pulling them both with me.

“Chichi-ue” I called. He turned to look at me, looking rather surprised,  
“Ah, Hikari, Sakichi, Yoroku what are you doing here?”   
“We saw all the soldiers and wondered what was going on” I answered, looking up at the big man Father had been talking to. He really was a big man, much taller than Kenichi who was a giant compared to everyone I had ever met. He had a very small moustache, not too dissimilar to Father's and a scowl on his face that looked permanent.   
“Oh, don't worry nothing bad is going to happen. Children, this is Gengo Ikou, he'll be training all three of you from now on, he'll be serving under the Azai now, that's why all the soldiers are here” Father explained.  
“Are they all your's Yorikane?” The man demanded, just to add to his terrifying appearance he had a big booming voice that made all three of us take a step back and Yoroku clutched my shoulder.  
“No, just the girl, the boys are friend's of her's” Father answered, “children, how about you go and play for now.”

“That man was scary” I mumbled when we got back to the lake where we had all met at various points in time.  
“Well I think he looked impressive” Sakichi commented.  
“He was scary but at the same time impressive. I've heard my Chichi-ue talking about him” Yoroku stated, “apparently he could unify the country, if he wanted to.” Sakichi laughed,  
“No one can do that, we've always been at war. I'd like that though, if we weren't at war.” The second sentence caught us by surprise and it was Yoroku's time to laugh,  
“You baby” he laughed, “we're warrior children, we can't grow up in peace. Come on Sakichi-kun, lets spar.” I sighed and got out of harms way while the two boys started trying to batter each other with two wooden polls they had acquired from my eldest brother earlier that day.

Nana soon came to find us and brought my sewing with her so I had something to do.  
“Nana-san? What was that big man here to talk about?” I asked.  
“He was here bec- goodness sake girl watch your hand” she stopped mid-sentence as I managed to bury the needle in my skin. She took it out and then continued, “as I was saying, he was here because he and your father now work under the Azai.”  
“Chichi-ue told me that” I sighed, “but why were all his soldiers here? Was he going to a battle?”  
“No, they're just to join with the Azai's force” Nana answered.  
Nana went up to the castle and brought back food and one of the make shift tents that they used for the soldiers.   
“You three be careful alright?” She warned us as she helped Yoroku strap the tent to his back.   
“We will” I beamed. Nana smiled at me and shook her head,  
“You never change do you Hikari” she kissed my forehead and hugged the boys before letting us go off as we pleased.

We'd done this before and could remember the route we always took, it went towards a small clearing, just ahead of the edge of the forest. It was warm, too warm really but we carried on nevertheless. Yoroku took to spinning as he walked, humming to himself while I spent my time talking to Sakichi.  
“Sakichi...are you scared?” I asked, brushing my hand against his to ask. He took my hand and gave it a squeeze,  
“Scared of what?” He asked, laughing it off.  
“Oda” I answered, looking away while Yoroku almost tripped over.  
“I think everyone is” he sighed.

I couldn't help but think of Nagamasa's son. He was only seven, he must be terrified. Oda would surely have him killed if he wins the war against the Azai, you can't have an heir surviving.  
“Are you scared Hikari?” He asked, squeezing my hand again to bring me back.   
“Maybe” I mumbled, “I don't want Yoroku here. I don't want him to get hurt.” Sakichi smiled at me,  
“He'll be alright, Yoroku will be with us in the shrine they always hide us at and even then, he might be able to escape.”  
“That hardly helps” I mumbled. 

With what Nana had left us we spent the night in the forest surrounding the castle, unknown to us being guarded.  
“Hey Sakichi-kun” I asked, “do you really want peace?”  
“Of course I do now go to sleep Hikari-chan” he replied.  
“You're still a wuss” Yoroku mumbled, laughing a little.  
“Don't be mean Yoroku-kun” I hissed.  
“I wasn't being mean I was ju-” he started.  
“Will you two be quiet and go to sleep” Sakichi snapped and we went silent.

The early summer sun woke us early and we gathered together our things, ate the bread we had saved and then made our way back to the castle. It was a nice morning, the birds twittered and we walked along hand in hand, even though we'd been told we were too old for that now. True, I could see why. We were no longer children really, we were almost adults. Both the boys were much taller and I was going to match their heights soon enough. Their hair was getting longer and longer, which didn't half look strange. Mine was much longer than it had been, now reaching my waist and it was only going to get longer if I had my way.  
Yet when we reached the small field outside of the forest Erisabetta, Yoroku's nurse so to speak, was waiting for us.  
“You won't be staying here any longer” she snapped, grabbing his hand and pulling him away – well she tried to anyway.  
“No! Let me say goodbye” he shouted at her every time she tried to pull him off. Again and again they pulled and shouted at each other while Sakichi and I just stared at them. Eventually Yoroku gave in and let her drag him away, staring at us as he tripped over his own feet following her. He then yanked his hand from hers and ran back to us, pulling us both into an abrupt and awkward hug.  
“Oda's coming. Stay safe.” He whispered. He kissed us both and was then grabbed by Erisabetta again.

“Oda's coming...” Sakichi mumbled, he had suddenly gone very pale and he looked terrified.  
“What's so bad about that?” I asked, and then it clicked. Oda wasn't coming to hunt the bears. Oda was coming to destroy the Azai.   
“Come on, lets go back” I sighed, trying to keep a bright smile on my face, “perhaps Chichi-ue wants us to start training.” He followed me up the hill and to the castle in silence, not looking at anything in particular. Just looking scared.

It was certainly true, waiting for us at the gates was the man we had met the day before, Gengo Ikou. He glared at us,  
“Where have you been?” He demanded, frowning mostly at the tent that was now on Sakichi's back.  
“We were camping in the forest” I answered, trying not to show that I was afraid of him, his glare never ceased but the fright never wore off. He gave a “humph” and continued to scowl,  
“Go inside and leave your things, and then come straight back” he snapped. We ran.

Once we had abandoned our things inside we went to go straight outside again, only to run into none other than Father.  
“Did he leave?” He asked, we knew he meant Yoroku and both nodded. Father put a hand over his heart and seemed to slump,  
“Good, good, now go, you don't want to keep them waiting.” So we went on our way once again. Yet surely, Gengo Ikou was only one person, wasn't he?

To our surprise when we met with Gengo once again we were soon with not just he but at least fifteen other boys and two girls. Then there were more teachers and who they were was quite the surprise. There was Gengo of course, yet stood beside him (we had been pushed into the group of other kids) was none other than Azai Nagamasa himself. Stood sharpening swords was his adoptive daughter, Azai Hitoko and an ashigaru whom I knew as Todo Takatora.

More children arrived and we were separated by gender, the six girls to the right with Hitoko-hime stood at the head while the 24 boys were left in the care of all three of the men. I had met Hitoko before, and actually knew quite a bit about her as well. She was of common birth and Hisamasa, Nagamasa's father, had been the first to adopt her however she had been “passed on” to Nagamasa when he became head of the clan and they were more brother and sister than father and daughter. She was also quite the pretty lady, though Nana said that was just all the make up she wore. 

Still, I won't deny it, she looked spectacular in the armour she was wearing with her Naginata in hand. Unlike the men no mask covered her face so you could see her big smile and look of excitement from all around. She had wooden poles under her arms and once given a nod by Nagamasa she took us to the lake, away from the boys.   
“Alright, before we start I want to know your names and how old you are. I'll start – my name is Azai Hitoko and I am fourteen years old” she grinned at us.  
“I'm Gengo Hatsu, I'm eleven” one girl said, not afraid to start off. She must have been Gengo Ikou's daughter, she had the same scowl on her face but was very confident.  
“I-I...I'm Kamono Yui” mumbled a very small girl, “I'm n-nine.” She then hid her face and it sounded as though she had started crying. My turn,  
“I'm Mei Tenshi, and I'm ten” I answered. Hitoko gave me a smile,  
“Well, well, Lord of the Castle's daughter, I am blessed,” she then turned to the other girls and told them to continue. There was Kotao Hana who was ten; Uzuki Iro who was twelve; and Fue Chou who was eleven. 

“So, lets get started then” Hitoko smiled and she handed each of us a pole and then picked up her Naginata, “those wooden poles you've got there are stand ins for this. You'll get one of these when you're good enough and I'll be the one to make you good enough for it.” Yet her face all of a sudden went stony and we all turned to look where she was staring. Todo Takatora was stood there,  
“Hitoko they've declared war and gathered. We have to go and fight.”   
“Go” she snapped at us, “you'll be taken to where ever you need to be” and as we ran to the front of the castle Hitoko collapsed and started crying.

We clashed with the boys half way there and I jostled my way through them, trying to find Sakichi. I eventually found him by stepping on his foot and he started yelling at me while keeping a tight grip on my arm so we didn't lose each other. Once all collected together we were rushed off to a shrine a top of a hill so we were safe, should the fighting reach this far over the days it took place. Sakichi decided he didn't want anyone to touch him – sometimes he was okay with it and now just wasn't one of those times. Kamono Yui was crying, asking for her Mother and Father, while Gengo Hatsu was laughing at her. 

“Stop laughing!” I suddenly shouted, making everyone in the cart jump and Hatsu stop her snickering.  
“Oh please, she's begging for her mummy and daddy, she's not fit to be a warrior.” Sakichi nudged me with his foot but I ignored him,  
“None of us are, we're all children” I snapped back. Hatsu glared at me, the same solid glare that her father gave, an ugly scowl of anger,  
“Don't you dare call me a child, I bet you're just a peasant like her.”   
“I am the daughter of Mei Yorikane” I informed her and found joy in watching her face fall. She tried to reply but her words seemed to choke her and she gave in.

The monks at the shrine were already waiting for us when we arrived and quickly shuffled us all inside. They had given up their beds for us and that made Kamono cry more, this time saying thank you to them. They were very nice to us, they gave us food and drink and sang the teary eyed children to sleep. They promised our parents and siblings would come back safe and well in a while and that all would be well. They promised to look after us and to feed us for however long they must. They promised a lot they may not be able to keep. With war came death. With war came famine. With war came hell.

For three days the monks kept their promises but we didn't know of the horrors that were happening at Anegawa. We couldn't see the two teachers we all knew best, Hitoko and Takatora, running about as they cut people down, coated in blood. We didn't see Takatora being shot and Hitoko desperately trying to get him somewhere safe. We didn't see Kamono's parents being killed by the same soldier. We didn't see the bloodbath that Anegawa was.


	4. Battle of Odani Castle Part 1: Kisses

Yet we would see the true bloodbath that Odani Castle was.

Three years later we found ourselves to be fully trained Samurai and Onna Bugeisha, quite frighteningly some of us were already dead. Three of the boys that Sakichi had known and the sad little girl Kamono Yui had been killed in their first battle. Now we were only going to watch our numbers dwindle all the more. We all knew the Azai were losing and at thirteen I found myself not wanting to get involved with this. All of a sudden I did not want to be a Samurai.

Neither Sakichi or I had seen Yoroku since the day he told us that Oda was coming, it was a common question on whether we should try writing to him or to just leave it. Treat it as if it had never happened, as if we had never known him. It was asked once again as we sat in the grounds of Odani castle, just waiting to be attacked. The sun shone and the birds twittered, it was hardly a day for a siege. 

Off in the distance we could see Takatora with Hitoko, pressed against a tree and naked. They'd given in hiding any more, this might be the last time and they'd stopped caring if they were slightly in view. I could hardly blame them. Gengo Ikou was stood on top of a small mound, shouting at his daughter who was now too scared to fight, thinking that she should have died alongside Kamono Yui as she had died protecting her. I could see Father, Nagamasa and Hisamasa stood discussing. Sat against a tree not far from the love making couple was heavily pregnant Oichi with her two daughters. Everything seemed...frighteningly normal yet so, so, so abnormal.

Sakichi and I were sat together on another one of the mounds looking out over the view. Sakichi had his feet up using my legs and was chewing on a piece of grass. Things had changed again since the bloodbath of Anegawa. He was taller than me now and there was no way I was going to catch up and his voice had deepened considerably. As for me I had begun to bleed a year ago and I was no longer flat chested. We were hardly children any more...in a few months time we'd be adults.

Yet, because we were essentially adults, we had to fight. 

“Do you want to fight, Sakichi?” I asked, messing with the pleats on the hakama he was wearing. He shook his head,  
“I'm not very good at it.”   
“Neither am I” I replied, “I don't care how bad or good the enemy is anyway, I'd prefer it if there were no more wars anyway.”   
“If Yoroku were here he'd call you a wuss” Sakichi laughed, “but yes, I wish there wasn't either.” 

Another thing that had changed was how I felt about Sakichi. He seemed to make my breathing sharp and broken with just a small smile. I'd have to look away, fearing that the shade of red my face went may just blind him. Then, my chest always felt some what tight around him anyway, as if he were restricting it himself. I had confided in Nana about this and she had laughed and told me it was love but there was no use having it – he and I would enter into political marriages and that would not be with each other.

“Do you think this is really it?” I asked, lying down an putting my arms under my head.  
“What, that this is the end for the Azai?” He replied, “yeah. I think this is it, for us as well.”  
“So you think we're going to die?” I demanded, sitting up and glaring at him. He gave me a glance and moved some of his hair out of the way,  
“Maybe not die...but it won't end well for us.” I sighed and lay down again,  
“Motivating.”

After dinner that night there was still no sign of Oda's attack and people did their best to settle down. My brother's were all nervous, I could see it. Kenichi and Saichiro had sent their wives and children to the south where they were from and had taken to sparing with Nagamasa as they had done when they were children. Nobusuke had gone, he was taking Oichi and her daughters to Oda. Keiji was discussing something with Father and I heard the word “succession” multiple times and it didn't put my heart at ease. Sugimaru, as usual, had hidden away in his room but this time his door was locked.

“Sugimaru” I called, knocking on the door, “Sugimaru!”  
“Go away Imouto!” He called back and I heard a book slam on his little table.  
“Please” I replied, leaning on the door. I could hear him grumbling and him stamping across the room, he wrenched open the door and glared at me,  
“What do you want?” He snapped.   
“I...I...” I couldn't get my words out and his glare only hardened,  
“If you're not going to say anything, go away.” 

I cried. Sugimaru stared at me, confused as to why I was crying.  
“Sugimaru, I'm scared” I sobbed and he rolled his eyes but put his bony arms around me and pulled me into his chest.  
“You should be” he mumbled, “we're all scared Imouto. I'm twenty three and I'm terrified.”  
“I don't want to fight. Why do we have to fight?” I asked.  
“Because we're not the ones in charge” Sugimaru sighed, pulling away and tucking my hair behind my ear. He then leant down,  
“Promise me you'll be careful alright. I know I'm not a very good brother and that Keiji and I fight a lot but I care about our family. So be careful, alright?” I nodded and wiped my eyes. Sugimaru gave one of his little smiles and hugged me again,  
“I think we've got a nosy boy on our tail” he laughed. He then got up and went back into his room.

I turned around twice before I spotted who the nosy boy was. It was Sakichi.  
“What are you doing here?” I asked, frowning at him. He smiled at me, always such a small yet endearing smile, and came over, taking my hand and spinning me round.  
“Oh, I just wondered where you had gone” he answered, that smile still there.   
“Why are you acting like this?” I demanded as he put his other hand on my waist. He merely smiled and lifted his hand to my chin.

I looked away, I knew I was going red and I couldn't bring myself to look at him. He was doing this on purpose, he was enjoying this if anything. I heard him laugh and he then tipped my chin up so I had to look at him. I tried to turn away but he would just the same again and again. This wasn't him. He'd never do this voluntarily...maybe not even if someone tried to force him. This seemed to set my mind straight and I pushed him away,  
“If this is your panic response then go do it to some other girl” I snapped. He shook his head, and there was still that smile on his face,  
“Don't you see Hikari? I want to kiss you.”

Suddenly engulfed by idiocy I let him do as he pleased. This would ruin me, especially if I never saw him again but I couldn't help myself. Yet his awkward side seemed to show again and he started looking about, and kept on glancing at my brother's door which we were still outside.   
“Not here” he sighed, taking my hand and leading me away. It wasn't until we got outside did we find any peace – and even then we had to search around to be away from Nagamasa and my eldest brothers.

It was more awkward than I expected it to be. I remembered the book that Keiji had read to me about a Prince and Princess, written by a Chinese noble lady named Jia, and what their first kiss was like. It was something out of a fairytale more than it was vaguely believable...yet still, I was sure that nothing was this awkward. He attempted to lean in from varying angles but we always seem to bump noses or one of us would pull away, too nervous to go ahead with it. He was too far away so he shuffled closer.  
“Sakichi...this...” I couldn't finish as he pressed his mouth against mine, my verbalised hesitation somehow giving him the confidence to do it.

It wasn't pleasant. He was gentle holding me but he moved too fast and pressed too hard. Still, it was a kiss and we had both wanted it, however awkward we had gone about it.   
“You really think this is it?” I repeated, “for all of us?”  
“Yeah” he answered, “it's the end.” He had taken to hugging me, I clung to him, face buried in his shoulder. I could feel my hearth thumping but his was so normal paced...

“Is something the matter Hikari?” Nana asked, she had refused to leave and insisted upon coming with me.   
“I...I'm fine, Nana-chan” I sighed, sitting down on my bed and not daring to look at her. I couldn't look at anyone at all. Nana sat in front of me and smiled,  
“Come on little one, what's troubling you now?” She asked, “I know that this is very scary but I think it's something else.” I nodded but didn't give her an answer.  
“Did Sakichi kiss you?” She asked. I didn't look up but I did go bright red and that gave her the answer. She laughed,  
“You should have said” she took my face in her hands and lifted my face, “you're a very lucky girl. Not many will ever get to kiss someone they love.”

I slept surprisingly well that night, so well in fact that I woke early. I went out alone and sat against one of the walls, watching for any sign of attack. The air was cool, pleasant and I remembered how much I loved this time of year – neither too hot or too cold, neither too damp or too dry. The flowers were in bloom, the trees were green and all around was teeming with wildlife. I could hear the birds tweeting, singing to one another.

Yet I saw what I did not want to see.

The Oda army was approaching.


	5. Battle of Odani Castle Part 2: Counting

I scrambled to my feet and rushed back. I knew that banner all too well, Oda liked to hang it on our home when he came hunting. I could feel the blood rushing around and my heart seemed to be beating in my ear, making me dizzy.  
“Akizuki-sama! Akizuki-sama!” I called, running to the man I spotted and when I got to him I had to grab him, hanging off so that I might stay up right.  
“What ever is the matter?” He asked, frowning at me, hands on my arms so I didn't collapse on him.  
“Look ahead” Kusaka muttered, glaring at the horizon. Akizuki lifted his head and suddenly grabbed me so I was in the air and being carried by him,  
“Kusaka warn everyone” he snapped before turning and taking me back inside.

“You stay here, alright” he snapped at me. I could only nod, trembling as his voice became softer and he stroked my cheek gently, he even smiled at me. As he stood up shouts sounded about the castle,  
“Mobilize the troops!”  
“Ready for battle!” I grabbed Akizuki's clothes again and used them to hide, as if the twenty year old solider was some kind of safe haven. He pulled me off, holding my shoulders,  
“Can you look after something for me?” I nodded, still unable to form any words and no faith in myself to try. He smiled and placed the satchel that hung around his neck around mine.  
“Hikari!” Called a voice. It was Nana.  
“Promise me you'll look after it?” He smiled as he asked. I nodded and he broke into a grin and then stood and ran to do whatever duty he needed to do. Nana then grabbed my hand and pulled me away, complaining about Akizuki as she did. He hadn't even said goodbye to her! His own mother.

I hated the armour, it was horribly uncomfortable and it seemed to squash my chest and restrict my breathing. The helmet was too small but it was also too heavy, hurting my neck with the sheer weight of it.  
“Don't cry Hikari” Nana sighed, kneeling down, “it'll be alright.”  
“I...I don't want to fight” I sobbed. I wanted to throw my arms around Nana – I wanted to find some kind of comfort – but I'd probably hurt her if I did.  
“Come on,” she smiled, taking my hand, holding it lightly, “I think you'll be able to see Sakichi.” 

“Can she see him?” Nana asked Mitsunari's father, Masatsugu, while I hid behind her to hide my tears. Masatsugu seemed to mull over it for too long but he eventually moved aside and let us in. Sakichi, like I was, was teary eyed and his face was already stained with tears. Masatsugu called his elder brother away and Nana left us alone. 

I walked to him slowly, taking his hand and squeezing, pointed gauntlet digging into pointed gauntlet. For a moment I wondered why we got such excellent protection when we were hardly good at fighting, while Takatora got hardly anything to defend himself.  
“Sakichi” I mumbled. “I don't want this to be it.”  
“I wish I could promise you it wasn't” he sighed. He pushed the helmet on his head off and it fell backwards, the cord pressing on his neck as he stepped closer to me, and still pointed gauntlet dug into pointed gauntlet. He lowered his head and kissed me once more, less awkward this time and more gentle. It was simple kiss, nothing that anyone would see as special normally but it was warm and pleasant and...some what reassuring.  
“This is it then?”  
“This is it.”

Our two factions were placed on the out skirts of the castle, most vunerable to arrow fire and other dangers.  
“Don't be scared” Hitoko smiled at me, patting me on the shoulder as she walked past. I stared after her as she went to address Todo and another ashigaru who had been promoted to captain. I looked away as she turned around and the tears came again. We were going to die here. Seiges never ended well for the besieged. We were sitting ducks.

Days passed. Then weeks. Then a month.   
There had been assaults and attempts to cut off our water supply, but not many had died. Food was falling and the water was becoming more difficult to get hold of. Many of the child soldiers had begun to grow weak because there simply wasn't enough. I remember being so young...thinking Nagamasa could help me, that he could help me become a Samurai. He had, probably without even knowing but in the process had thrown myself and the others to our early deaths.

From time to time I would see him talking with Kenichi and Sachiro and I would have to turn away, not sure as to how they could bare to listen to such a man. It was his fault! He was weak willed yet stupid enough to challenge Oda in his idiocy. If he hadn't given in to his retainers and stayed with Oda then this would never have happened, any internal uprisings would be crushed with ease. The Asakura would not be our allies, they would be dead, gone forever and Oda Nobunaga would rule the country.

“Hikari” sais a gentle voice. It was late into the night and I jumped, turning around to see who it was.  
“Oh, hey Sakichi” I sighed, turning back, not wanting to say anything else.  
“Can't sleep I see” he commented, placing his hand on my shoulder while I shook my head in answer.  
“I'm just waiting to be told to charge” I mumbled, “we can't hold out much longer, we'll die of starvation if we don't do anything. Not that it would matter.” I spat the last few words, hate for the adults who were supposed to keep us out of danger welling up again. I then declared my plan in a whisper,  
“I'm going to run. Oda will win and I'm not dying in that process.”

Sakichi moved his hand and sat beside me,  
“You won't do that” he sighed, picking up a stone and tossing it in the air, “still, it would have been nice to live a little longer.”  
“Imagine what it would have been like” I mumbled, smiling to myself as I laced my fingers in and out of each other, “you think we'd ever been important?”  
“Maybe” Sakichi laughed, “but it's not like we'd rule Japan or anything like that. Work from the sidelines.”  
“You'd work with your numbers wouldn't you” I added.  
“Oh to do that and that alone...” he sighed dreamily. 

“Something's going on” I said, suddenly snapping out of the dreamy state. I stood up, startling Sakichi as he was about to lean on me. I could hear something.   
“Listen” I said, answering the perplexed look on his face.  
“Oh no” Sakichi muttered, he'd heard it to, “go wake Hitoko, I'll wake Takatora and Yoshimitsu.” I got up and ran to where Hitoko was sleeping and shook her shoulder, repeating,  
“Hime-sama! Hime-sama!” Yet, like most, Hitoko was no longer alert to the possibility of an attack – she'd given up the idea and handed her life to eventual starvation.   
“Whatever is the matter” she asked, yawning mid sentence.  
“Listen” I answered, still holding onto her shoulder. She frowned and then she heard it.

The roar of a charging army.

We were brought into formation, row upon row, and made to wait. We could hear them for what felt like hours on end, bashing the gate without whatever they were using. A month...a month of waiting and now it came down to this. The time to die had come...perhaps it would be less painful than losing every ounce of your body with your sanity following suit. 

The gate broke and I heard them crash through. We did not move. The screams began and the sky was scorched, burning with red as the buildings around us caught fire. We stared forward. Even as the flames began to threaten to take us we were not allowed to move. Yet terror had glued our feet to the soil we stood on. My hand tightened on the Naginata beside me, a trusty mute compainion who would do my bidding...if I could only hold them as tight as now. Then there was a distant scream among thousands that my mind decided to pin point, to strip of noise and deafen me.  
“KUSAKA!”

“Advance!” Called the three commanders and we ran forward with a roar to falter even Oda's forces.

It must have been funny to them. To see a small collection of children with over sized weapons running at them. These veterans of battles from before we were born...we were laughing stocks. Yet still they cut us down. I watched the row after row fall in front of me. Even those who fought diligently with such skill were eventually cursed with contact with a blade. I saw Ikou's daughter fall, all the friends I'd made were dead.

Now it was my turn.

I stumbled about in fallen bodies and a man took a swing at me. It caught my side but did not cut and I, in turn, swung my own blade. I'd killed a man. I had killed two. Then three. Four. Five. I could go on counting as I continued to hit dumb luck. There was blood everywhere and still I found myself feeling as if I was falling over old friends. Yet the desire to cry was gone, even as my shoulder stung. What use was crying?

The men who we had been fighting us had begun to turn and run, but not because we were doing any significant damage but rather they were being faced with a larger force sent to aid Hitoko, directly from Nagamasa himself.  
“We continue to attack!” Hitoko shouted at us, Todo and Yoshimitsu repeating her orders. So the last of us pressed forward while our opposition fought against their own old friends, veterans from the days when Oda and Azai had been so tightly intertwined. 

A few times we'd catch a soldier by surprise but generally they were able to hold us off with ease. They killed us with ease. We didn't know how to defend ourselves. We exposed our weak points. We did everything a soldier shouldn't do because we weren't soldiers we were children. We were not supposed to be fighting battles, dwindle down to just a few. Six of us. Five of us. Four of us. Three of us.

Hitoko stopped, ordered our retreat and grabbed the three of us left.   
“Go, all of you, look after each other” she snapped at us, dragging us to a hole the Oda army had managed to blast in the wall an hour ago. Then Hitoko fell as a rogue soldier cut across her back, one of the three made the mistake of running to her and had our own throat slashed. We were dead. We were dead. We were dead. We were dead.

We were dead.


	6. Battle of Odani Castle Part 3: Haha-ue...

“Come on Hikari!” Sakichi snapped, grabbing my arm and pulling me rom the man who was about to advance on us. He dragged me through the hole in the wall and we fell part of the way down the hill before scrabbling to our feet and running away again.  
“Sakichi what are we going to do!” I shouted at him, dragging him back and digging my heels into the ground.  
“We're going to run away” he answered, “now move!” He managed to drag me further down the hill before I made him stop once again,  
“Where will we go?”  
“I don't know. Somewhere. Now shut up and run.”

They were in the town at the bottom of the mountain and we tried to make our way around the soldiers. Yet there was a moment of bated breath when Sakichi pulled me into an alley way, dark even as fire burned around us. They marched by, the same row upon row that we had been in, and we watched them in silence. Then they were gone, just like that. Sakichi seemed to relax and I burst into tears. He tensed again and grabbed me, pulling me against him to muffle my tears.  
“Shut up” he hissed, “I'll protect you, they won't get you. Shut up.”

We were sure they were gone so we joined hands again and began our run once again. We thought we were safe now. We could run, we'd be free. Perhaps we could run all the way to the North, join Yoroku and live with the Uesugi, happy and carefree. We thought everything would smooth out. Perhaps our families had survived, or at least one member. I had six brothers and a father, I could have some hope couldn't I? We thought we were going to live...oh how wrong we were.

“What's this?” Asked a voice and a soldier grabbed the two of us and dragged us through the streets. I screamed and struggled, trying to hit him as I stumbled over the ground, trying to keep up, gain footing so I might just escape.  
“Do something!” I shouted at Sakichi but he ignored me, hardly partaking in the same power struggle. When we were thrown at someone's feet I was given a vicious kick and spat on. I curled up, only turning my head slightly to look at who owned the feet. The owner shocked me. It was Oda Nobunaga.

“Azai?” He questioned. He didn't even seem to think. Even now he wasn't that much taller than the both of us he scared us. He didn't even seem to think as he decided. His face was cruel, fixed in a frown and no longer the laughing man that he had been six years ago. Not at all as he had been when he showed us the Tanegashima. He didn't even think as he decided to kill us.

Yet a young man stood in front of him as he lifted his own sword to kill us. To think he'd do it himself. What an honour, killed by Oda himself.  
“Oda-dono, they are children, we don't want martyrs” the young man said, “Mt Hiei was a stain enough.” Oda glared at him and looked just about ready to kill the man alongside us. His sword was still poised in the air. I wasn't sure if the red was blood, the burning village or both. Yet he lowered it slowly,  
“Get the brats out of my sight.”

We began to run again and this time we ran towards the forest. On the very edge of the village, something familiar that bared even the slimmest resemblance to home was better than this.The forest was a steep trip down hill but the things people do for a piece of home aught never to be questioned. We ran from the flames and the death and destruction. We fell. We tumbled down and down and down, rolling down the hill with no footing to gain. Just like home. Yet there was no green grass, the small dip we'd fly off was not there. There was only dirt and sharp edges to fall on. At least the helmets covered our heads.

All of a sudden I seemed to be floating...this wasn't the forest...this -  
This was nothingness.  
I landed on the floor, if there was any at all, only a thunk as I hit something hard told me that I wasn't in a dimensionless world. Was this...was this the beginning of death? Had I hit my head too hard? Perhaps I was hallucinating. I felt someone gently touch my cheek, running their fingers down my face. Gentle and loving. Like a Mother's touch.

I did what I had not dared to and opened my eyes and lifted my hand to the person who was touching my face. I saw her. Auburn hair. Brown eyes. Pale...so very pale. I stared at her. She wasn't old, her mid thirties perhaps. Her smile was gentle and her eyes seemed to be lit with happiness.  
“Haha-ue...” I mumbled. The words stung to say, seeming to burn my throat but she smiled at me.  
“Hikari” she whispered, cupping my cheek, “look at you, you've grown up so much.” 

I didn't feel like I had grown up but my Mother's word was now gospel to me, I felt older...as if I had not fought in just one battle, but many.

She faded away and again I fell, now on flowers that were white but covered in ugly blood stains of red. I was paralayzed. However much I struggled I could not move. However much I tried to scream, even with my mouth wide open no word left and it seemed to burn my throat once again. My eyes soon became fixed on what was above me. Simplistic drawings of people danced above me.

First there were two. Then three. Then two once again, the third led away by the hand. Blood dripped onto my face as the pictures warped and the space above me seemed to set alight. I tried to struggle again, as if I could some how get away but my eyes would not leave. The red fell away, covering my face in hair with blood...the blood of those lost not hours ago. There were two. A man and woman. They danced together, seeming to be laughing though they had no mouths. A spat of blood from my face flew back up and almost hit them but the man took the woman by the waist and pulled her out of harm's way before it hit. They smiled together.

Then two children joined them, holding onto their hands...they had become parents. Yet another splat of blood flew from my face and the man could only save his children while the woman was hit with the blood and she fell to the ground. The man broke from his children and ran to her, lifting her, looking mournful as he carried her back to his children, staring down at her. Yet she clung to him and stood, the family laughed together once more. Two more children joined, twins – the same height and same hair. Blood continued to attack them but it never met it's mark.

Their children grew and two more came along, while the couple began to age, holding each other as they watched their children grow. Then they ran from their children and began to argue but as soon as the youngest came to them they stopped and the woman picked up the little girl, leaning on the man as she did. Then the eldest daughter came to them, holding a man's hand and the woman wept and the man turned away. She left with the man and came back, a baby in her arms and her mother and father cooed over their grandchild with joy. They watched their children again, three married, with their own loves while the two youngest girls played and the youngest boy, one of the twins, sat with his books.

Then they were all stood in a line and the youngest boy stepped away and held his mother's hands before letting go and disappearing from view. Blood hit where he had once been. There other children ran but no blood hit their place and the man and woman began to argue once again. Yet when he left they held each other again and parted ways with tears, the woman trying to catch up to him when he disappeared only to jump back as blood splattered all across my view. She ran from it but eventually it hit her and she fell to her knees.

“Look at the mess on your face” Haha-ue smiled. The view of the couple and their children was gone and she was just kneeling down beside me. She took her sleeve in her hand and rubbed my face clean, logic being defied but my brain never really making sense of it. I stared at her, unable to form any words...  
“Hikari” she repeated, “it won't be like that.” I couldn't move my face either and continued to stare at her. What wouldn't be like that? Was the woman who had been hit by the blood supposed to have been me?   
“Hikari” she said...she said it again...and again, “Hikari. Hikari. Hikari. Hikari. Hikari.”

Hikari

“Hikari” said a voice and water splashed on my face, forcing me to open my eyes as they stung. Once my vision had cleared I saw someone smiling down at me,  
“N-Nana-chan?” I asked, trying to drag myself up to sit down. She pushed me down,  
“Stay there. Your shoulder's badly hurt.” I sighed and looked around, I could see the trees towering above me and a little light dotting onto the floor.  
“Are we in the forest?” I asked. Nana smiled and touched my forehead gently,  
“We are. Sakichi's here as well, and Masazumi and Masatsugu, Akizuki is here as well.”  
“Did Chichi-ue or any of my brothers survive?” I asked, my eyes half closed.  
“Yes, they all did.” Was all I heard before I slipped back into sleep.

When I next woke I could hear voices, talking and chattering, while a fire roared. I went unnoticed as I pushed myself up on my good arm and a smile broke out onto my face when I saw everyone. Sakichi and Masazumi were playing a game and when Masazumi lost he grabbed his younger brother and ruffled his hair. Masatsugu was sat beside Akizuki, and they were talking. Akizuki's smile was...so...so faint. Nana was sat alone, cooking whatever they had managed to find.

I stood up, wobbling a little but I kept myself upright and walked to Akizuki, my hand on the little sachet he had given me. I pulled it off and waited for him to turn his head to look at me. When he did he stared not at me but the sachet that dangled helplessly from my hand on the string. He lifted his hand to it and touched it gently, his fingers ghosting over the fabric.  
“Kusaka...” he whispered. His hand closed around it and I slowly let go, drawing my hand away and letting it hang by my side. He pulled it close to his chest slowly and bowed his head, whispering something as he tried not to cry.

I took a proper look at everyone and found that they all looked...different. Akizuki wasn't smiling, he was crying. Masatsugu had lost his hard expression and was void of any kind of emotion what so ever. Nana looked tired...Nana never looked tired. Masazumi may have been smiling but his smile had always been in his eyes whenever I had met him and that was gone. Sakichi's face was tear stained and I could tell that he had been crying recently, his eyes seemed to have sunk back...the terror had never once left his face.

I could only guess I looked the same...perhaps that was what Haha-ue had tried to wipe away.


	7. To Return is To Leave

We trudged our way home in silence. I say silence...no one spoke to each other unless they needed to but there was no silence. Nana spent her whole time praying, uttering words that were too quiet and jumbled to make much sense of. Occasionally Akizuki would break into tears, sobbing over Kusaka and while we continued Masatsugu would stay with him...just in case he did what was not so unthinkable. Masazumi occasionally carried either Sakichi or I, particularly as it got later on in the day, he'd talk to us, try and reassure us that everything was going to be okay but we never replied.

There was a moment when the silence was broken, when the adults had gone to do something that suited them. Masazumi slept. Masatsugu recited poetry with Akizuki, to try and keep his mind from his fallen lover. Nana disappeared to find some water for us while Sakichi and I sat together. We were out of the forest now and heading towards home. We kept off the roads, there was no use in being found now.  
“If...if they're dead too...what will we do?” I asked, sitting down on a sharp rim that fell off towards a river that led from Biwa.  
“Kill ourselves. It's only expected” Sakichi answered, “whether we want to or not.” I opened my mouth to say something but shut it again and looked down at the river, crashing below our feet.  
“Can't we run away?” I asked.  
“Where would we go” Sakichi replied, bowing his head.

When Masazumi was awake again and we had all drunk until our thirst was quenched we set off again. Masazumi was carrying Sakichi and I could see their family bond. They often acted as if they hated each other. Sakichi envied Masazumi, he had lots of attention paid to him because he was the eldest. Masazumi found that, unlike Sakichi, he had more talent for fighting than he did for numbers and refused to acknowledge his brother was a scrawny thirteen year old and it should have been obvious. But I could see them now. Sakichi was much, much smaller than Masazumi and had his arms tight around Masazumi's neck while he sniffled, trying to hide the noise and his face in Masazumi's hair. 

I turned my face away, feeling as though I had been staring too long when I had hardly been looking at all.  
“You a little jealous?” Akizuki asked. I glanced at him, looking rather surprised that he had spoken at all. He smiled and knelt down, so I climbed on his back and clung to him. I found myself wishing that Akizuki was one of my brothers. Keiji, or Sugimaru, anyone. Or even Father. I hid my face and burst into tears, it felt as if I was shaking the entire world as I cried.  
“You'll see them soon” Akizuki sighed, patting my arm, “look, you can see your home on the horizon.”

Akizuki put me down as we began the final trek up the hill, but he kept hold of my hand.  
“Akizuki-sama” I started, “did you love Kusaka?” I didn't know why I had brought it up but I had.  
“I did” he answered, “I hope you meet someone like that someday.” I remained silent after that, I felt bad for asking...it hadn't been rude but more heartless. Akizuki gave my hand a squeeze and smiled down at me,  
“It's alright.”

We carried on up the hill, it was a normal walk. We weren't coming back from war, this was a normal walk, we were returning home. I could see someone, stood at the gates. They were skinny and lanky...they were Sugimaru. I wanted to run to him, to tell him I was alive and well even though he would spot us soon enough...I just wanted to run to him. My feet wouldn't carry me there though, I had no chance what so ever. I was dragging them, barely being held up by Akizuki who undoubtedly was even more exhausted than I was. Then he saw us.

“Hikari?!” He shouted down, his voice travelling well in the silence, “Nana? Akizuki-sama!” Surprising all of us he ran down the hill, something he would never ever do and certainly wouldn't be in the realm of possibility for him to do it voluntarily. He came to an abrupt stop and grabbed me off the floor and picked me up, hugging me tightly to him. How he did this I had no idea, he wasn't supposed to be stronger than me. Before I could even put my arms around him Sugimaru had put me down and gone over to Akizuki. He was holding his face gently, rubbing off a little dirt that rested below his eye. They seemed to be lost in the abysses of each other's eyes before Sugimaru stepped back and bowed his head, Akizuki looked away and both of them tightened their grip on a small satchel that hung round their necks.

That was the last time I ever saw Sakichi, Masazumi and Masatsugu. They disappeared before Sugimaru could even exist that they stay...not that he would, he was at odds with Masazumi. Sugimaru had pulled me close again, apologising for apparently being more curious about his friend than his family. I knew that really he had loved both Akizuki and Kusaka, so it wasn't really much of an upset. Yet when I pulled away I turned to say something to Sakichi but he was gone and I could see him with his brother and Father, already half way down the hill. Nana gave me a sad smile as I bowed my head. I didn't even get to say goodbye...

A few days later a rather nasty shock came for me. That shock came in the form of tall man who seemed to rather like the colour purple...or perhaps he had a lot of wealth, most likely the latter. He looked like a very traditional man...his clothes more Heian than modern day and some what terrifying. Yet, along with him, he brought someone.   
“Hikari!” Nana called as I brushed through my hair, some how managing to do it on my own, “hurry up!” I dropped the brush on my table and rushed out.

“Hikari?!” Yelled a voice when I came into the room that Nana had directed me to.  
“Yoroku!” I cried and he stood up and threw his arms around me, as always a little zealous. I laughed and hugged back, my arms tight around his shoulders while he tried to squeeze me to death.  
“Children, children” Chichi-ue laughed, “I think that will do, we have something very important to discuss.”   
“Of course” Yoroku nodded, pulling away and clearing his throat as he sat down. Wow, his voice had gotten very deep. 

“Tenshi” Chichi-ue began, “this is Uda Yoritada-dono, if all goes as planned, he'll be your Father.”   
“I'm assuming by the look on your daughters face your daughter didn't know anything of this, Yorikane?” Yoritada asked, raising an eyebrow. Chichi-ue sighed,  
“I thought better of it, we've just hardly survived the Azai's clash with the Oda.” Yoritada made a “hmph” sound before turning to me,  
“You won't be staying with me, or your Father. That is why the Uesugi boy is here.” Yoroku looked rather offended but kept his mouth shut.  
“As of the Azai's decimation your Father needs a stable ally, while I need some strong ties. You being his biological daughter and you being my adoptive one presents us with both ties...and I suppose you'll be with a friend.”

“Hmph, I don't want to call you Kanetsugu Naoe” I whined, “I like calling you Yoroku.” Father had sent us away while he and Yoritada sorted everything out.  
“Oh give it a rest” Kanetsugu replied, “it's my name now, doesn't mean I like it either.”  
“I miss being a kid” I sighed, turning to look out over the lake we had played at and in as of when Yoroku...I mean Kanetsugu...learnt to swim. I felt Kanetsugu's hand on my shoulder and lifted my own to his.  
“We've grown up now, we can't go back to how we were.”   
“I miss everything so much, I want to go back to being ten years old and sneaking off to sleep in the forest, getting away with taking food from the kitchens. I want to see Sakichi again” I mumbled.  
“Mitsunari” Kanetsugu corrected. I looked at my feet and Kanetsugu stepped a little closer before hugging me, “just because gone doesn't mean it's forgotten” he sighed before pecking me on the cheek innocently and leaving.

“Tenshi!” Father yelled to me, I hated my new name and I knew exactly why it had been given to me. The Angel who took Haha-ue away.  
“Yes, Chichi-ue” I asked, joining him in the open yard. I knew I wasn't going to get any goodbyes from my brothers and that I'd see them rarely. I suppose I had a duty, my disappearance from my family was going to save them. They were already waiting for me at the gates...  
“This is Oda's doing” he whispered as he pulled away from one last embrace, “you're Uda-hime now.”  
“I understand Chichi-ue” I answered, bowing. That was the last time I ever saw that place.


	8. Parties

I hated parties. Hated them. Hated them. Hated them! Kenshin had decided to welcome some foreign guests with a western party, much to many people's distaste. We learned new dances and had new clothes made, the only difference being that they had come from thousands and thousands of miles away, over land and sea. I had thought of China as being far off, a great distant from where I had grown up. To think of this place called...Portugal...I think that's what they called it anyway, was further than China almost frightened me.

They spoke strangely and they were pale...so very, very pale. They called themselves noble men but they looked strange for noblemen, apparently the system they worked on was not the same as our own. There was no real equivalent to a samurai there, except the now dying off knight. They didn't do any fighting like ours did, they were more courtiers. They had strange clothes as well. The men had collars pushed right up to their chins and the coats they were attached to were sleeveless and seemed to pinch their waists too much. Their legs then billowed out in great masses of fabric. Terrifying if you asked me.

To top it all off I found myself wandering about the crowds of people in strange clothing and those I knew alone. Kanetsugu had left me, disappeared off some where! No conversation could be made at all, the people from Portugal had so little contact with our country that they hadn't had any chance to attempt to learn even the basics of the language and we had struggled over theirs. Instead we relied on hands to ask things and tell stories, save for the few privileged enough to know to be better prepared.

_Hey was that..._

“There you are!” Called a voice. I took my eyes off what I had seen and turned around to see Kanetsugu. I rushed to him and grabbed his arm,   
“Why did you leave me alone?!” I demanded, shaking his lightly. He laughed and smoothed down bits of his hair that were sticking up,   
“Sorry” he mumbled, “listen, they're dancing now, how about you come dance with me. Osen doesn't feel well.”   
“Hmph, I suppose it's better than you abandoning me” I replied moodily.

_Surely not..._

I missed my chance to look, to see if it was, as Kanetsugu dragged me to the centre of the room. He put a rough hand on my waist and grabbed my right hand, pulling it up into the air at his shoulder height. I had to rush to shove my hand on his shoulder, just managing before we were dragged into a never ending loop of one-two-three one-two-three. I hated this too.   
“Hey come on, keep up” Kanetsugu whined, pulling me round all too quickly, “what are you looking for anyway?”   
_It had to be him..._  
 _It just had to be._

Once the dance was over Kanetsugu left me once again, saying he was going to check on Osen seen as she was ill. I gladly left the dance floor and searched. _I have to find you._ I weaved in and out of guests, easily distinguishing between Portuguese and Japanese, not that I could understand the Portuguese at all. I hid from all I could, hoping I just passed by them, no one would notice me. _If it's you I don't know what I'll do...I might cry._ I banished the thought from my head, it wasn't a decent thing to do - to cry in front of all these people. 

As I slipped past a crowd I expected would ignore me my arm was grabbed by someone. They tugged and I turned around, fighting against them. It was a big man, wider and taller than any I had ever seen, with an oily face and greasy hair.   
“ _Who knew they had such a pretty princess_ ” he slurred as he spoke and I tried to pull away from him. I didn't understand a word he was saying, it was alien to me and I desperately wanted to get away from him. I may not have understood the words but I understood the meaning.   
“ _Come on now, don't be shy_ ” he laughed as I tugged away, grabbing his arm with my free hand and trying to push him off. Someone grabbed the man's hand and ripped it off my arm before putting a gentle arm around my waist.   
“ _I would like you to keep your hands off my betrothed_ ” they said. Again I didn't understand but I knew that voice...oh I knew it so, so well. The drunk foreigner backed away and turned to his crowd, not daring to even look back. The person then drifted away from me and I almost called their name before they turned and took my hand,   
“Are you not coming with me, Uda-hime.”

At first I couldn't believe my eyes...even though stood before me was one of the most familiar figures in my life. He was someone I loved and though the years had gone by I still loved him. He hadn't changed much. Still taller than I, still handsome faced, his eyes still brown, his lips still inviting. His clothes were better, nicer colours, well made, not like what he used to wear that looked as it had been sewn by an amateur. There was a smile, so gentle...he never used to smile without words spoken first. Yet that look of terror has never left his face.

_She'd changed...she'd changed more than I could imagine. Her hair was so long and looked so soft, the vibrant auburn just waiting to be touched and stroked. By me. She didn't look like a little girl any more. Her chest was full and her hips were wide, the dress she must have been forced to wear showing both of these off. Though I took note of how her body had changed, become more desirable , I couldn't keep my staring eyes from her eyes. They still held that look of terror neither of us wished to revisit. Though they were so full of life and happiness I could see she was still scared. If only I could hold her...kiss her...tell her everything was better now._

I wanted him to kiss me, to hold onto me until the end of the world. To find a familiar face, to find someone whom I could speak with in a crowd of the unknown was a joy I'd thought I'd never come to feel. The smile had gone and his eyes never left mine. Please...just do it. I can see you want to. I don't care if we're lusty teenagers. Please... He does it.

_I don't know what came over me to actually go ahead, to kiss her. She shook against me and I pulled her close. Not again. Never again is that going to happen. Never again will we be left alone. Her lips were so soft...no words would fit, describing her was almost impossible. No wonder she'd been given the personal name Tenshi. My sweet Angel...Angel...Angel. I had closed the gap badly, going to fast and too forceful but she didn't push me away. She even let me push her back so she found herself up against a wall. I had to breath but I couldn't leave her mouth all alone, I could tell it was the same for her. I changed my mind, I had to breath. We had to breath. Here I could use to my advantage._

He pulled his mouth from mine and panted, pushing his face against my neck as he did. Once he had his breath back he pressed his mouth to my neck and I grabbed his arm. His fingers extended, surprised by my action as he prepared himself to be pushed away. I'd never push away the warmth and happiness I had found myself suddenly engulfed in that was him.

Then they came.

Having disappeared completely Kanetsugu had come looking for me, dragging Kagekatsu (the Uesugi's heir) along with him to find me. Kagetora, Kenshin's other adoptive son, had joined them when hearing of their plight and all three had gone in search for me. I knew they meant well, but now was perhaps not the best of times. My breathing was heavy and my hand was still tight on his arm. At first they had stared at us and we had not noticed them. Then Kagekatsu had made a grunting noise, grabbed Kagetora by the arm and dragged him from the scene of the crime.

We pulled away from each other slowly and stared back at Kanetsugu...he looked betrayed if anything else. Nothing was said but glares were exchanged between the two men. Kanetsugu was the first to strike out. He hit Mitsunari very hard and sent him flying with a bloody nose. I got out of the way as Mitsunari stood up, wiping away some of the blood. It was completely useless, it just kept flowing. He ran up to Kanetsugu and hit him in the stomach, winding him.   
“What was that punch for?!” He demanded when Kanetsugu could talk again.  
“You...forced” he took a deep breath, “yourself on her.”  
“Are you insane?!” Mitsunari barked, “I'd never do that.” Kanetsugu clutched his stomach and attempted to stand up straight. He was taller than Mitsunari by a head, if not more, and he was trying to look a little more intimidating.   
“Then why is it you abandon her for two years and you're suddenly kissing like the world will end tomorrow” Kanetsugu shouted back, his breath back and stood up straight, “you left her behind. She doesn't need you.”

“I don't need either of you” I snapped at them, getting their attention. They both stared at me, completely dumb folded by my outburst. I continued, “I don't need either of you. I have fought in wars and I have lived. If there's anyone I need to rely on it's myself.” The two of them backed away from each other, looking away.   
“I'll be outside if either of you need more” I hissed, turning my back on them and going straight out into the grounds of the castle.

It was a lovely cool night, what better for a friendly reunion? That had been anything but friendly. That kissing had been glorious and I already found myself wishing to go back to it, to have that feeling constantly with me. Then they'd hit it other and it had all fallen apart. Why were they fighting over me anyway, and had Kanetsugu thought that Mitsunari was forcing himself on me? Surely he knew better, I never gave up a fight, particularly not against a friend. Had my face been pained? I mean, how could I know?

“You're over thinking it” Mitsunari sighed, making me jump. He'd cleaned up his nose and it didn't look like Kanetsugu had actually done any proper damage to it.   
“Maybe I am” I replied, slowly sinking down against the tree I was leaning on. Mitsunari looked down at me before slowly reaching out and touching my hair. He twirled what he could round his fingers and smiled as he did, finishing it off with, “You're beautiful.”

_I couldn't help myself. For almost three years I hadn't seen her and now I had her right before me and I was madly in love with her all of a sudden. I sat across from her and pulled her forward slowly, letting her think as I did. I would never deny her a choice. Yet she didn't protest or try to stop me, she seemed to encourage it. She slowly lowered herself so her hips lined up with mine. I could have...no, not yet. I pulled her in, acting as if we were continuing the kiss. She was trying to hold, holding onto me too tight and moving her body too much. It worked though, oh how it_ worked.

“We can't” I sighed, pulling away and getting off his lap, “it's wrong.” Mitsunari sighed and looked away – all I wanted to do was keep on kissing him, or do whatever he had wanted to but I just couldn't. Kanetsugu's look of betrayal had thrown me off...I didn't even know how I could have betrayed him. “Is it because of Kanetsugu?” Mitsunari asked, refusing to let go off me completely, “I can see it really. He adores you, he's jealous you've never given him the attention you're giving me now.” “He's married. I couldn't” I replied, resting my head on Mitsunari's shoulder, “and I swore I'd never even think of becoming a concubine.”

We stayed silent for a while, enjoying one another's company as we looked up at the glittering stars. Away from the noise of what was alien to us. Away from the criticising eyes of those we knew. Just the two of us in silence. Nothing to say. Just to sit and smile. Yet soon the silence became too much to bare so we replaced it with a similar silence but it was laced with gentle noises. I loved him for it. I adored him for all that he did.

_She was beautiful, even more so as I watched her. She was scared, it had been implanted in her brain since Aya-gozen had taught her about sex. Always be afraid of the man. I didn't want her to be afraid of me so I kissed her, played and toyed with her because I wanted her to trust me. I wanted her to love me. At the same time I wanted to stop, to push her away. I would broken her innocence. I would had ruined her. Tainted her. Stained her. Everything that could destroy her I had almost done...I had to stop. Yet I could not deny it, I adored her. We'd left each other alone, not daring to touch one another after coming so close to what we had almost done._

I went down to the small pond not far off and washed my face, conscious that my face may have been red. I considered myself very lucky in some respect, I found it a chore to wear the make up but when I had first come to the Uesugi my face had been caked in it only to have a rash build up quicker than Oda's conquering rate. They weren't sure what it was that had made me react in such a way but it was something and they left the make up from there, preferring that I didn't die. I sat alone for while, wondering if he'd ever come and join me, and I thought about it.

By default, or rather by cliché, I should have been more interested in Kanetsugu. He was taller, more muscular and he had those green eyes that were hardly ever found. A mutation that had blessed him to be the interest of many women. Yet there was something that seemed to grab me about Mitsunari. He was short and very skinny in comparison to Kanetsugu. His eyes were the brown that everyone seemed to have...I could hardly explain why but that was how it was.

“Are you staying for good or is this some thing that happened by chance?” I asked when I heard him. I didn't turn around, I didn't want to turn around to look at him.   
“I'm staying” he answered, “not that it was my idea.”  
“Hostage?” I prompted, taking my hair down from the tugging hairstyle it had been put in.   
“Something like that” Mitsunari answered, “it's better than dead on the grounds of Odani like I thought I'd end up.”


	9. The Sooner, The Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if there are any instances (excluding the italics for Mitsunari) that appear to be told in 3rd person. I wrote the entire thing that way and have just changed it now, if you spot it please tell me :)

“What?!” I demanded, “why are you sending me away?!”  
“Uda-hime, please, calm down” Aya-Gozen smiled her fluttery little smile, “you won't be going alone.”  
“Where will I be going?” I asked, still looking betrayed. This had been a safe haven, both for my family and myself, why was it being taken away?  
“Back to your biological family” Kenshin answered, drunk once again but not completely senseless.  
“You're not needed here, not any more, neither is Mitsunari” Naoe said, standing up, “they want you back Tenshi. No one's in danger any more, but you are if you stay here.” I lowered my head and then bowed,  
“Thank you, for treating me so well.”  
“Head up” Aya-Gozen chuckled, “you're family to us.” I lifted my head and beamed at them – we all eventually burst out laughing.

“Mitsunari!” I called as I raced to him, having spotted him leaning against a tree. He turned, after a moment he smiled at me and caught me as I almost collided with him, lifting me as he swung me round to take the brunt of the impact. I giggled and hugged him tightly once he'd set me down.  
“What's made you so excitable?” He asked, smiling at me as I looked up at him.  
“We're going home!” I laughed, hiding my face in his chest and giggling. He forced a smile and stroked my hair gently,  
“We are, we are indeed.”

I could read Mitsunari like a book and I pulled away, frowning at him,  
“Why aren't you excited?” Mitsunari sighed and looked away; should he tell me ? Did he want to tell me ? He didn't want to deal with me crying.  
“Tenshi” he started, drawing away and taking my hands, “you do know why we're going, don't you?” I frowned at him,  
“I was told they didn't need us any more...is there something else?”  
“Oda, he asked for us” Mitsunari answered, watching as my face contorted to one of horror.

I didn't want to be asked for by Oda, I knew that meant war. That meant separation again.

Since the party Naoe had...forgiven Mitsunari and apologised for his accusation and the three of us were best of friends again. We'd slept in the forest like we used to, we swam in a lake a few miles from the castle. Though a new activity had found it's way into our repertoire, and it wasn't just the three of us who joined in. It involved a hot spring nearby, one that wasn't owned by anyone, and a great deal of alcohol. On some nights a group of around ten of us would make our way down to the hot spring, the eldest usually bringing all the spirits they could find.

That was the one time that Mitsunari and I would even show any kind of affection to one another in the view of others. It was easy, pretend we drunker than we were and kiss and grind to our heart's content. Everyone kept these parties to themselves anyway – they weren't really supposed to do them. We were the type who would get comments like, _“such a cultured young man”_ and _“what a beautiful, delicate young lady”_ to know we were out doing such a thing would soil our reputations very quickly. Still, fun was there to be had, even if in secret.

“Remind you of anyone?” Mitsunari smiled as he lifted me up, keeping me against the tree we'd chosen to hide behind.  
“We have our clothes on” I giggled, though only a second later I let out a sharper noise when Mitsunari stuck his hand up my skirt,  
“Not for long.” However he stopped and took to kissing my neck gently.  
“I like this” I mumbled, my fingers ghosting over Mitsunari's arm as he continued to kiss me, “being like this, even if it's secret.” Mitsunari smiled as he pulled away. It was a forced smile and I didn't see through this one.

_This one made him feel some what cruel, that really he should push her away rather than bring her any closer. Hadn't they seen enough of one another? Shouldn't they avoid one another after their dear friend's accusation. The worst part was that Uda really seemed to love him and that was anything but what he wanted. He just...he just found it difficult to love her, he had asked Naoe once why he loved her so much._

_She is the passing wind in some ways, she'll almost never shout or cry and if she does it's fleeting, almost none existent but it stings. She's kind, she cares more than anything else in the world – friend or foe she'll help. Her smile is there to brighten even the darkest of days, she never seems aware of when something is sad for everyone else. She'll always try to make a person smile if they look gloomy. She lives by her name._

_Perhaps this being sent away would be good, it would separate them and stop them doing this over and over. The party had been fun, so had what it had almost led to but it was the simple fact of it just not being allowed. Mitsunari knew that they were never going to marry, he was sure he'd heard some talk of an Ikeda girl before he had been packed off to the Uesugi and Mei-dono was determined to have his daughter marry into the Oda family. Taking a girl from an Oda was not something Mitsunari wanted to risk._

_He smiled gently, realising he had become vacant and practically motionless, and pressed his mouth to hers. This wasn't fair on her – what was to women? She wasn't allowed to learn to write, though Naoe and Mitsunari had taught her all they could in secret. Her virginity was more important to her than her life, to be taken by the person she married and by no one else...to break that rule...he didn't want to think of consequences. At least she got her dream of being an Onna-bugeisha, if there was one thing she wanted that she got it was that. Not that she wanted it any more._

“Oi!” Yelled a voice and Mitsunari pulled away quickly and lowered me down quickly.   
“Oh no...” I mumbled. Ah...we'd been found out, and not by Naoe. Mitsunari turned around to see who had caught us red handed. It was Uesugi Kagetora, Kenshin's heir. Originally a Hojo he'd been adopted by Kenshin through means of a peace treaty, being given one of Kenshin's own names somewhere along the way. He was also known for his...obedience to the system. There wasn't really anyone worse we could have been caught by.

“Alright, you found us” Mitsunari sighed, “leave us in peace, pretend it never happened.” Kagetora glared at him,  
“You do understand what you've done, don't you? You might get her killed.” Mitsunari glared back, his fist clenching as he gritted his teeth, damn higher ups.   
“Well then” Mitsunari half laughed, a panic response as he tried to keep his cool, “why don't you keep your mouth shut and no one will get hurt.” That was a bad move. Kagetora was also...easily offended, the littlest thing could set him off. 

Despite his obedience to the system he liked to...make up the rules for himself for lack of better words. A man dare insult him in privacy – why he'd draw his sword in an instant. Which is exactly what he did here. He was clumsy as always, yanking it from his scabbard in a rather ungentlemanly fashion. Mitsunari picked up his own, which he had discarded on the grass when I had appeared, and sighed as he unsheathed it. Kagetora had a rather large advantage here – he was actually good with his sword while Mitsunari was very, very out of practice. 

However I quickly ran between them, glaring at the two men,  
“Come on! This isn't something to draw swords over!”  
“Get out of the way” Kagetora snapped at me, throwing me an angry glare. He didn't particularly care, it would just be better if I didn't get hurt; he didn't want a messy case on his hands. I didn't move. Oh well he thought and he went to swing it at me without any more hesitation – rules were rules and I'd pay if I didn't follow them. The sword would have cut straight through my clothes and back if it had got that far. However in a surprising move of agility and precision Mitsunari had managed to block it,  
“Uda...Tenshi move” he hissed, struggling to keep Kagetora busy. I still didn't move.  
“Move!” He shouted at me and I finally jumped away, more out of fright than anything else.

All of a sudden Kagetora dropped his sword, catching Mitsunari off guard and giving him his perfect opportunity. He ducked, avoiding the now loosely hanging sword and punched Mitsunari as hard as he could in the stomach, winding him and knocking him to the ground. Kagetora then turned to me and I backed away, bringing my hands up to protect myself out of instinct. I froze as I found myself up against the same tree. He was still moving forward and by the time I reached the tree Kagetora was too close for me to even try running. I was a cornered rat.

He grabbed one of my arms with such a force that I shook and smacked my head on the trunk of the tree. I cried out and found myself being forced back with no where to go. I wanted to scream but no sound came out. I'd heard of situations like this. Two secret lovers, someone finds them and kills the man and rapes the woman. This wasn't going to happen to me. Was it? 

I could only watch as Kagetora came closer and closer – far beyond too close. I hit his chest with my free hand in what felt like a final act of defiance and it proved useless. If anything it made things worse, he grabbed the other arm and rendered me almost immobile. I wriggled and even managed to shriek before being slammed against the tree a second time, an arm freed only to have my mouth covered.

While I tried to pull his hand from my mouth he started to insult me. They weren't clever but they were vicious.  
“Whore” he spat, some saliva landing on my cheek, causing me to try and bite him out of anger. I didn't succeed.  
“You'll end up dead for what you've done” he hissed. Kagetora smiled as I struggled more, seeing that I was beginning to tire.   
“You tainted, unclean, ro-”

“She didn't sleep with me!” Mitsunari yelled, throwing a small stone he'd found at Kagetora. It did nothing, just bounced off his back. 

Kagetora dropped me and I lost my footing immediately, landing in a heap, panting.  
“Is that so?” Kagetora replied, leaning down and picking the stone up. He inspected it and tossed it up and down in his hand a couple of times before throwing it back at Mitsunari. It hit him on the head, it didn't knock him out and but it did cut half his forehead open. Kagetora then began his advance on Mitsunari. 

He grabbed Mitsunari by his hair when he tried to run from him, almost wrenching a lot of it out. He then threw him to the floor and kicked him in the ribs. Mitsunari screamed, he was positive one had broken and it certainly hurt like it had. He tried to curl up to somehow protect himself but Kagetora's foot kept connecting with his arm and that soon twisted the wrong way. Kagetora kicked him again and again. Mitsunari was eventually reduced to silence it felt like his entire chest was about to cave in. It stung, ached and burnt. He spotted me between small gaps and saw I was rushing about. What are you doing woman? Do something! He wanted to scream that to the high heavens but no words seemed to leave.

I looked about. I didn't know what to do, could I hit Kagetora with something? No, pro – oh wait maybe I could actually. I looked about for it, but what I needed was not in sight. Come on! I panicked as I heard Mitsunari cry out again and I winced, it was loud and something more of a sob. I needed to help him soon, but I couldn't find the damn thing. I started to cry out of frustration, where could it be?! What about under the jacket? I glanced at Kagetora's back, making sure he wasn't looking my way, before checking under the jacket and feeling as if I had struck gold. I picked up the wakizashi, it was comfortingly light but worrying for the same reason. It's all I could do.

I ran up to Kagetora, suddenly scared of how much of a giant he was compared to me. Still I did my best to hit him as hard as I could on the back of the neck. He froze for a moment and I, for that horrifying moment, thought he might turn around. No, he toppled over – unconscious. I then ran over to Mitsunari and dragged him out from under Kagetora. He screamed as I did, all of the pain suddenly flooding back and he thrashed about in my arms and tears erupted from his eyes. 

While Kagetora still lay still Mitsunari was being held up by me, panting and unable to form any words. At random moments he would wince and grab my arm, his hands going completely white as he tightened his grip on me. Then he'd just breathe and look at me, trying to smile. Eventually he stuttered out a,  
“Th-thank you” before grabbing her arm again, squeezing his eyes shut and letting some more tears fall. I just smiled and kissed his forehead gently.

Eventually I had to lie him down properly, my arms no longer able to hold him up.  
“It's not as bad as I thought” he mumbled, “the pain's going.” I smiled and stroked his cheek gently, I didn't seem to want to say anything.   
“Or, maybe I'm just numb” he sighed, closing his eyes. He smiled as he felt my hand on his cheek, gently caressing before running my thumb gently over his lips.

Then Kagetora woke up.

He had hardly been out but it had been enough to keep them safe for a short amount of time. He looked up, frowning at us. Slowly he pushed himself to his feet and that was when we noticed. They both turned our heads, a look of panic on our faces.   
“Neither of us will speak of what happened today, I wouldn't call it fair but it aught to be left as it is” he stated. I stared at him in surprise when he came over to us and was prepared to throw myself over Mitsunari if I had to but I stayed back when he picked Mitsunari up and started walking back up to the castle. After a moment I got up and followed, running to catch up.

We lied, saying we had gone into the village and Mitsunari had gotten mixed up in a fight between two drunk men. It worked but now neither of us and Kagetora could look at each other. We knew each other's secrets now – the quicker the two of us were sent away the better.


	10. Oyasumi

It did come quickly as well. As soon as Mitsunari's bruises had faded (nothing had been broken thankfully) we were sent on away.  
“Horses?” I muttered in question when we were led out by Kagekatsu and Naoe.  
“Oda sent them” Naoe explained, “he wants you there quickly. You won't be going directly home to your families either, Oda wants you at his castle.”   
“Surprise after surprise” Mitsunari commented, patting the horse's neck gently.   
“You'll be taken there by Uehara” Naoe nodded to a man who was tending to his own horse, he glanced at us momentarily then continued, “and, if you should run into any trouble you've got your swords.” 

“Will you write to me?” Naoe asked as we were preparing to go.   
“Of course” I smiled, “just because we're gone doesn't mean the three of us can't keep in contact. You'll write, won't you, Mitsunari?” He nodded, giving a little smile as he got up onto his horse.  
“Uda-hime, we must set off soon” Uehara grunted, not looking back. I glanced at his back and at Mitsunari before quickly embracing Naoe,  
“Don't miss us too much” I smiled and then got up onto my own horse and we set off. I waved as we went and smiled at him. Naoe was crying.

“He's unbelievable” Mitsunari sighed, shaking his head.  
“Oh, let him have it, he's worried about us” I replied, rolling my eyes, “he only wants us safe.”  
“He could have just said that, he didn't have to cry his eyes out” Mitsunari snapped. I blinked in surprise and frowned at him. He sighed,  
“Sorry, I didn't mean to snap.” I made a “hmm” sound and looked only ahead of me.

We travelled mostly by the coast, we could really have gone any way we wanted but sticking to the coast was prettier.  
“We'll go round” Uehara explained to us, “past Lake Biwa and then to Kiyosu caste, give you two a taste of home. I hear it was Shin-hime who requested you to come home, so who knows how Nobunaga is going to react, I'm not sure if he had much, if any input.” I laughed,  
“That's exactly the kind of thing Shin-hime would do.” Mitsunari smiled. We had found memories of her. She was unmarried, but she had a son and it had only slipped by everyone because she was Nobunaga's cousin and she appeared to be quite valuable to him. Anyway, the father of the child was within his ranks and we'd met him once or twice, his name was Akechi Mitsuhide.

My family's relations with Mitsuhide were...strange. My Father seemed to hold something against him and my brothers copied that – perhaps they knew something I did not. I had quite liked him. He was well spoken and a very kind man, but he was distant. I found this strange until Shin had pointed out that I looked some what like Mitsuhide,  
“There's no doubt you're your Father's child, but you have the same face, it's hard to see because of your Mother's eyes and hair, but it's there.”   
“If you're saying I look so like him, how can you be sure?” I asked. She had laughed and tapped me on the nose,  
“Oh, I just know dear.”

The first night we had to sleep in the wilderness, setting up a small camp in the middle of a forest we were passing through.  
“We'll have to be careful, bears and other predators aren't alien to this forest” Uehara sighed, “we can't have any fires.”  
“What about bandits” I asked.  
“How about we don't talk about that” Uehara answered, “there's your clue.”   
“Many then” I sighed, drinking a little of the water we'd taken from a nearby river not long ago. 

As soon as the sun rose the next morning we were up and out straight away. The next town we came to we got something to eat at a tea house, we were squashed into a corner, out of sight.  
“Hostile ground, don't want you recognised” Uehara warned us, “now stay here until I get back.” He left without another word, leaving us there with half finished tea and sweet dumplings. Mitsunari frowned at his back but eventually shrugged it off,  
“So, how's the secret writing going?” I sighed and pulled the bits of paper from the little bag I had and handed it over,  
“You can be the judge of that, you're the literate one.” 

While Mitsunari read through the papers, correcting any mistakes he came across I stirred my tea and sighed repeatedly, bored.  
“Hey, Mitsunari, what's it like?” I asked. He looked up and frowned,  
“What's what like?”   
“Being able to read all those books? You raced through Kasugayama's works, I was jealous I won't lie to you” I explained.  
“I suppose you've never really been able to do that have you” he sighed, “it's interesting, if you pick the right text.” I gave a quiet laugh,  
“I thought you might say something like that.”

He handed back the papers after another five minutes and I rolled them up and put them back in my bag.  
“Where do you think Uehara's gone then?” He asked, finishing off the last of his tea.  
“I don't know, I didn't think he'd be allowed to leave us but oh well” I replied, leaning on my hand and looking out the window, “how's your chest?”  
“Better” he answered, “that kimono's nice by the way.” I turned back and smiled at him,  
“Thanks, it's not the most practical for horse riding but it'll do.”   
“No, I suppose not” he laughed.

If only Uehara had come back just a little bit earlier. We sat in silence after the awkward conversation about my kimono, both looking out of the window. It was nice and peaceful, gentle chatter filled the air – some old friends catching up, a wife telling her husband that they were expecting a baby. It was just pleasant.   
“We need to leave” Mitsunari said all of a sudden, grabbing my arm and attempting to pull me to my feet,  
“What? What for?”   
“We just have to” he snapped, “come on.” I grabbed my bag and let him drag me out onto the bustling street of the little town.

“What was that about?” I demanded when he'd dragged me into a thin alley way.   
“There were two men watching us, and I think they were from a resistance group” Mitsunari explained, “be a little quieter will you.” He then pushed me against the wall and started kissing my neck. I grabbed his arm,  
“Or was this what you were after” I questioned, my grip tightening on his arm for a second.  
“Perhaps” he laughed softly, drawing his tongue up my neck. I couldn't take this much longer, I pushed him away and shook my head at him when he frowned at me in confusion,  
“Why do you keep doing this? You don't love me.” 

He didn't say anything, just kept trying to go back in for kisses and I'd have to push him away time and time again.  
“Mitsunari, Naoe told me” I glared as I spoke and finally he gave in.  
“Why is it so important?” He asked, managing to get a hand in my hair, evading my attempts to stop him, “surely you don't love me?” His eyes then went wide,  
“No...no you don't” he mumbled, shaking his head, “you can't.” 

“You honestly thought it wasn't a possibility?” I asked, pulling his hand out of my hair, “you didn't think that I might come to love you?!”   
“Keep your voice down” he hissed, “we can't be found out.” I really wanted to hit him at the minute, kiss him too for some odd reason, but mostly hit him.   
“Why didn't you think of that? You're supposed to be the bright one out of the three of us” I hissed, “yet you decide it's a good idea to treat me like that?”  
“Listen, I'm sorry” he sighed, “I didn't think you lo-”  
“What about that kiss?” I asked, cutting him off, “that kiss before Odani?” He hesitated and eventually shook his head. 

“What are you two doing down there?!” Called a voice – it was Uehara.  
“You can explain this one” I then glared at Mitsunari, walking off, leaving him standing alone for a moment. He then caught up,  
“Care to explain?” Uehara demanded, glaring at him, while I looked away, turning my nose up at him.  
“There were two men watching us, and I thought they were part of a rebel group – so we left” Mitsunari explained, his awkward tick making itself known as his foot tapped repeatedly.   
“Then we best take our leave” Uehara sighed, “I've bought food, we should last until tomorrow easily, now lets go.”

The food did last but my patience did not. I didn't take my time staring at the coast any more, just looked ahead. How could he? I trusted him to the ends of the earth, and all a long he'd been silently lying to me. None of that had meant anything to him, he'd just used me to do whatever he wanted when he was lonely or frustrated. Occasionally I had the almost overwhelming urge to cry – if only I'd let Naoe...no I couldn't, he was married, that would be even worse. 

“You hate him?” Uehara asked, making me jump, “I overheard your little...argument.” I sighed and shrugged,  
“I don't know. We've been friends since we were little kids, but...well you heard” I replied.  
“You should probably let him go now” Uehara sighed, “it won't be easy to do when you find yourself thrown into a political marriage you really don't want to be stuck in.”  
“You'd know?” I asked, trying to keep a neutral facial expression.  
“Classic noble lady and stable boy” Uehara sighed, “it didn't end well.” I sighed,  
“I won't pry.” 

Come evening we stopped again, sleeping in a forest in a make shift camp. I liked this though, it reminded me of escaping form Odani. Despite the dream, the tears, the sorrow and the pain I had enjoyed that. We could light a fire tonight, the forest had been hunted the vast majority of it's animals and if there were bandits...well there was a small chance, and we could defend ourselves. Mitsunari and I didn't talk, he did hand me a new sheet he'd made up before we'd left. New Kanji to learn...but it could wait. I tucked it away in my bag as he went off to toss a few more sticks on the fire. In the few moments I looked over the sheet Uehara grabbed my shoulder,  
“I may have said let him go” he started, “but this silence is rather daunting, don't you think?”

When I went to bed that night a familiar visitor came to stay. Since Odani bad dreams...no memories had been a common occurrence. The type that made you toss and turn. I watched people fall and seemed to paralysed, however much I tried to move to save them. All while names of people that I had heard being screamed in horror echoed above the splashes of blood.  
“HATSU” screamed by a Father.  
“HIDEMUNE” screamed by a friend.  
“KUSAKA” screamed by a lover. 

Then there was the three of us. We saw Hitoko being struck down. Then one of the three and I found myself to be falling and my mother was off in the distance, her gentle smile. No. No. No. NOT AGAIN. I woke up screaming, looking around for something to comfort me and only being greeted by a rather startled looking Mitsunari lifting the door of my tent up.   
“Bad dream?” He asked, a rather sympathetic look on his face, I nodded, “don't worry, I have them too. Do you want me to lie with you?” I nodded again. 

He lay across from me and gave me a little smile, I returned it, having to look away and using the covers to hide my embarrassment. What was I even embarrassed about? He laughed quietly and pulled me to him, stroking my hair gently. I smiled and snuggled against him, rubbing my nose against his collar.   
“You feel better?” He asked, kissing my forehead gently. I nodded,  
“Much” I smiled, “did...did you have one as well?” He shook his head,  
“I could feel one coming though, I couldn't sleep.”

I stroked his cheek gently as we were reduced to silence again, smiling gently as he stared back at me.   
“I'm sorry” he mumbled, “for all I've done.” I shook my head and leant forward, kissing him softly, still running the back of my index finger down his cheek. I intended to pull away but something kept us going, as if we were being pressed together by some alien force of nature. He was so warm and familiar, I couldn't take myself from that. It calmed my mind, nothing was going to scare me more, but excited my body. 

He smiled when he pulled away, now above me and panting. He pulled off the sash round my waist and pulled the two halves apart. He stared before going down, but he didn't kiss me at all.  
“We shouldn't do this” he sighed, pulling away and covering me up again. It was probably for the best. He lay down again and hugged me to him,  
“Oyasumi, Hikari.”  
“Oyasumi, Sakichi.”


	11. Kiyosu

Arriving back to the Kiyosu Castle was a terror all of it's own. The last time we had come into any kind of contact with Oda Nobunaga was when he'd been intending to kill us. It was all the more surprise to see that the man who had defended us was still very much alive, in fact he was stood with the all too familiar face of Hashiba Hideyoushi – he had made a friend out of my father and it hadn't been too uncommon for him to come hunting with Nobunaga. 

We had to bow to him, and deeply too. Nobunaga deserved the utmost respect, he owned almost all of the country. He deserved every ounce of respect a person could give.   
“Do you know why you are here?” He asked when we had knelt up.  
“Only that we have been summoned by you, my lord” Mitsunari answered, we'd agreed that he was doing the talking for various reasons.   
“I have summoned you back” Nobunaga started, standing up and walking down to us, “because a war is about to erupt between the Uesugi and I. Shin-hime has insisted that we don't lose such a valuable lord and lady. Not that you possess those statuses yet.”

Shin came to them while the others left and helped them both to their feet.  
“I simply couldn't let you two be killed in that battle” she smiled, “it just wouldn't be right.”  
“You think we would be killed?” I asked, rather surprised.  
“Our army heavily outnumbers any force that the Uesugi may be able to assemble, their great strategy will eventually fall” Shin answered. I glanced at Mitsunari, a rather worried expression on my face.

Shin gave us a small smile,  
“You're worried about someone, aren't you?” I nodded,  
“We...we have a friend, we've been friends since we were children” I answered, “you might have known him by Yoroku.”  
“Ah yes, the boy from the North” Shin remarked, “is he well?” I nodded,  
“Is there any way we can assure his safety?” I blurted out.  
“Tenshi” Mitsunari hissed, grabbing my arm, he turned to Shin-hime, “she didn't mean that!” Shin shook her head,  
“There's no way I can, you'll just have to leave it to him to keep himself alive.” Shin then sent me out, for some reason she wanted to speak to Mitsunari alone.

“Listen to me, Mitsunari, you are destined for greatness” Shin stated, smiling at him.   
“Greatness?” Mitsunari replied, frowning at the Noble lady.  
“Yes, greatness. There is a man, a Tanuki might be a better description” Shin explained, “he will try and take this greatness from you, and you must fight him.”  
“I-I-I am nothing but a low samurai's son!” Mitsunari stuttered out, “I'm not even the eldest!”  
“Fate does not care for that, Mitsunari” Shin replied, “those whom you love, they will suffer horribly if you don't fight.”

That night Mitsunari wrote to his brother, whom he'd just managed to keep in contact with.

Dear Masazumi,  
I've been told I would rise to greatness. Why me? I am nothing to the world, I won't be married to anyone important and you are the eldest not I. Why would I be told I would rise to greatness, what do I have that could make anyone say that?  
I am nothing to the world, why should I hold any importance to it?!

I'm sorry brother, I'm repeating myself. How are you and Father? Of our dear sisters?  
Uda is well, but I can say nothing for the others, we have left them.

Mitsunari

“You look beautiful, Uda-hime” Shin remarked smiling at me as she sat beside me. She'd found me beside the pond in the grounds, a distant comparison to the lake in the grounds of my home.   
“Thank you, Shin-hime, thank you for the dress” I replied.   
“Are you alright?” She asked, keeping her gentle smile. I shook my head,  
“It's nothing” I answered, before she could even ask the question, I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk about it.

“Has something been troubling you?” She asked, glancing at me, “I've noticed that you and Mitsunari aren't as close as you used to be.”  
“I...” I started but I trailed off and looked at my feet again.  
“Has something happened between the two of you?” Shin smiled, trying to make me smile as well, “a little love trouble?” She put her arm around me and pulled me over, my head resting on her shoulder.   
“He's been messing with me for months” I sighed, “it didn't mean a thing to him, meant the world to me.” Shin sighed,  
“Boys are idiots sweetheart, however old they get they'll always find a way to mess things up” she patted my shoulder and squeezed, “that's why you have to be your own person, we're lucky that we get to do that.”

“Shin-hime”I started, “do you ever have dreams, and it's remembering battles? They're more like nightmares.”   
“I do” she answered, “I know they're not pleasant but I'm afraid there's very little you can do.”  
“Is there anything at all?” I asked.   
“You can have something with you, maybe from your childhood to hold while you sleep” Shin suggested, “that's always worked for me, but bare in mind it won't stop them.”  
“Thank you” I mumbled, keeping quiet after that.

A couple of days passed and Mitsunari and I continued to ignore one another. We didn't throw cold stares at one another like many adult couples did, just ignored each other on the whole. We had our minimal contact when he would take my sheets of kanji and look through them, correct whatever needed correcting before appearing a day later to give me a new sheet of whatever he thought I should learn next. I'd thank him and that was the end of it. Oh how things can change in so little time.

“Uda-hime!” Shin called, knocking on the door to the room she had arranged for me, far, far away from Mitsunari.  
“Come in” I called back, quickly stuffing one of the sheets into the bag under my table. Shin slid the door open and smiled at me, I immediately noticed she was being followed by a very beautiful girl.  
“I see you've taken an interest already” Shin laughed, “I thought it might be well and good for you to have a maid to help you, that hair looks incredibly hard to brush by itself. Uda-hime, this is Mizuki, she did attend to me, but I think you will prefer her company.”

I certainly did prefer her company, much more than anyone else’s. She was quiet and a little shy at first, having a tendency to go red whenever I asked her to do something. She was also much taller than me, I was short anyway, so I had a tendency to ask her to get things off shelves for me. At one point she exclaimed,  
“Uda-hime, how did you manage to get it on this shelf when you can't reach it?” She was then on the floor, apologising for apparently being rude.  
“Stand up, stand up” I insisted, “you're quite right, and honestly, I haven't the foggiest.” 

Mizuki seemed to be able to do everything I needed. She could do my hair however I wished, though I often let her choose. Obviously she could reach things I could not. She also slept in the same room as me so if I had one of my nightmares she would come running and comfort me. I'd often wake up in her arms, my head against her shoulder and my arms just as tightly around her. She was always so warm and welcoming...it was impossible to refuse her company even when no dreams plagued me.

It had been a couple of months, we had been kept at Kiyosu without much explanation, when I was sat at my table, making my way through another of Mitsunari's sheets of Kanji, that I realised something. They were starting to get complicated, both in strokes and in meaning but I was actually beginning to be able to read things properly with a bit of guess work of course. He'd paid me a visit that morning and kissed me on the cheek as he left. I tried to shake it off as a friendly gesture, but it was Naoe who did things like that not Mitsunari. 

“My lady, are you alright?” Mizuki asked. I sighed and looked up at her and something hit me. I suddenly couldn't take my eyes off her. Her eyes. Her hair. Everything about her suddenly felt like sacred ground. My heart beat faster than it ever had before and I felt my cheeks colour,  
“I-I'm perfectly fine” I muttered, looking back down at the sheet of paper.  
“Are you sure, you've gone very red” Mizuki said, kneeling beside me, looking rather concerned.  
“It's nothing” I sighed, “I've just been thinking of...”

“Of Mitsunari?” She asked, placing a gentle hand on my back, “it's alright if you still love him my lady, just because you don't get on with him doesn't mean you can't love him. You probably just find him more attractive physically than anything else.” I sighed and put down my brush and leant against her,  
“I don't understand” I sighed, “he kissed me on the cheek this morning and I still got that jump. You know when your heart jumps when you look at someone like that?”  
“I do” she answered, stroking my hair, “it's a pity you love him still.”

I'd finished the sheet by evening and at dinner handed it to him,  
“You're getting better” he said, having quickly glanced over it quickly before tucking it away in the top layer he was wearing. Afterwards he came back with me to my room, deciding he would just make the sheet up there rather than come back. He laughed quietly at one point,  
“You're never going to remember that are you, I've given you the same one the last three times.”  
“The mark on gold?” I asked. He nodded and looked up, giving me a gentle smile. My heart didn't jump though. 

“Listen, Tenshi” he sighed, standing up and coming to sit in front of me.  
“Don't call me that” I replied, I wasn't up for this at the moment, not at all. He frowned at me but gently took my hand,  
“Alright. Uda-hime, I...” he trailed off almost immediately, clearly not knowing what to say. He sighed again and looked away.   
“If you're after anything like that” I started but I was quickly silence as he did just what I didn't want him to. He pressed his mouth to mine and grabbed my arms, pushing me back. I eventually managed to struggle free and shove him off,  
“What were you thinking?!” I shouted at him, my fuse had burnt itself out finally, “get out! Get out! Get out!”

“My lady are you alright?!” Mizuki called, running in, having been a few rooms down talking to Shin. She came into me crying, practically a heap on the floor. She rushed over and picked me up, hugging me tightly, telling me that everything was alright. I pressed my face into her shoulder and my grip tightened on her every now and then, just trying to control myself was incredibly hard.   
“Was it Mitsunari?” She asked, her voice was so soft and gentle and...loving. I nodded,  
“I hate him” I sobbed against her shoulder, “I'd rather court a lady than him.”

Mizuki pulled away, looking rather surprised,  
“Would you? Really?” She asked, “that's not just a slip of the tongue, a declaration of hurt.” I nodded,  
“I'd rather court a lady than him, or any man really.” Mizuki smiled gently and tipped my chin up,  
“What if I said my lady, that I would never leave you, whether I be bound by duty or not?” I stared at her, my heart didn't jump just once but it kept skipping, paining my chest in the best kind of way. She smiled at my wonder and drew me closer, very gently pressing her mouth to mine. Gentle could hardly describe how soft her lips were, or how pleasant her touch was. Even as time passed and she was lying me down on my bed, our clothes open and fully revealed to one another, she never lost that element of gentleness.

“You're beautiful my lady” she whispered, kissing my forehead. Night had long since properly fallen and we were lying together below my covers, clothes discarded on either side.  
“Please, call me Tenshi” I smiled, “my lady sounds a little too formal now, don't you think?” Mizuki let out a gentle laugh,  
“I suppose it does” she kissed me again, “I love you, Tenshi.”


	12. Letters

“ Tenshi, this was brought for you this morning!” Mizuki called when I came back, I'd been out riding with Shin-hime and a few of her friends, so had missed this.  
“Oh, it's from my brother” I smiled when she handed it to me. I sat by my table and she sat behind me, her arms around my waist, curious to see what my brother had sent.  
“If you don't mind me asking, which one? You do have quite a few” she remarked with a smile. I laughed,  
“Sugimaru” I answered, “he's the youngest after me, though there's still ten years between us.”  
“That's quite the gap, there's only two years between Ryuuji and I” she smiled. On top of everything was a letter and I could not lie that I got very excited when I realised that I could read it without having to ask someone to help me. I didn't have anyone to ask anyway, though I had tried teaching her but Mizuki had refused to learn to read and write, she didn't particularly care for it.

 

_Dear Imouto_

_Are you well? I've heard they're keeping you at Kiyosu castle, only after this was sent back from the Uesugi, after going all that way and you're not even there! Oh well, no matter, I'm sure they'll treat you just fine._  
_Akizuki and I are well ourselves, as are the rest of our brothers and their wives and children. Father has finally forced me to get married, it's as bad as I thought. It's become a little difficult to spend my time with Akizuki, she's quite the possessive lady so perhaps it's a good thing I have no desire for female concubines, or indeed children. Though that involves problems of its own._

 _And how are your own love exploits going? I've been informed of some trouble with Mitsunari. Is he still on your mind or has Father's talk of an Oda boy got round to you yet? I imagine Father won't be quite that lucky, Oda only has one son who's a sensible age and that's Nobukatsu. I hear the boy ' s a bit of a dim wit._  
_I'd appreciate it greatly if you kept this letter to yourself. I'd like for my head and internal organs to remain in their rightful place._

_Anyway, I wish you well, I've sent you a scarf that Nana made for you, it's supposed to be getting cold soon. Father has also asked I send you two necklaces, Yin and Yang, they're old so be careful with them. By old I mean a thousand years or so. There's also a book for you, you may have had trouble with Mitsunari but I've picked up on him teaching you to write as well, test your reading with the book._

_Sugimaru_

I smiled and placed the letter on the table by my sheet of Kanji. Mitsunari had a page, who was Mizuki's younger brother, Ryuuji, deliver them between us now. What he'd done had come to the attention of Shin-hime and it had not ended particularly well. I lifted out the scarf that Nana had made, fine wool perfectly put together, I held it to my chest and squeezed my eyes shut. I heard Mizuki let out a gentle laugh and leant back into her as she kissed my neck softly. I then sat up again and took out a shallow but long box beside the book. It was nothing much special, just a simple box with no patterns.

Inside were two necklaces, as Sugimaru had said one was Yin and the other Yang. Underneath were a pile of papers, all filled to the brim with characters and dates.  
“That's my mother's name” I mumbled, “and my Father's underneath, and that's the date they were married.”  
“This must have been passed down generation to generation” Mizuki pointed out, “that must be your grandparents on your mother's side, I may not be able to read but the characters aren't the same.” I didn't say anything, I just stared at the piece of paper in...mild surprise.

_Toyoa Hibari_

_4 5 1520_

_Akechi Mitsutsuna_

“An Akechi?” I mumbled. That explained everything, my father and brother's distance with Mitsuhide, his reluctance to talk with us. Judging by the date he had to my mother's brother, or at least half-brother. Mizuki placed a hand on my forehead and stroked my hair gently as I leant back into her again, not quite sure what to do.  
“Is Mitsuhide with Shin-hime at the moment?” I asked, playing with Mizuki's hand.  
“He is, she's insisted, Jin hasn't seen his Father in too long” she answered.

I took a deep breath as I knocked on the door of Shin's rooms, trying to remain calm. I couldn't quite piece together why this was making me so nervous, perhaps because it had appeared such a sensitive subject?  
“Oh, Uda-hime? Is something the matter?” Shin asked, a very kindly smile on her face. I spotted thirteen year old Jin hidden behind her.  
“Is” I faltered a little but managed to pull myself together, “is Mitsuhide-sama with you, at the moment?”  
“He is, he is” she smiled, letting me in.

“Anata!” She called, “Uda-hime is here to see you!” Mitsuhide was sat at the table, reading a book, holding very thick spectacles over his eyes so he could actually read it. He looked up when he was called and looked rather startled when he saw me,  
“Gosh, you've grown” was the first thing he said, it certainly suited him well, the man was pushing well past his 40s and quickly approaching 50. I'd also come into no contact with him whatsoever since I was around ten years old.

I sat across from him and placed the box on the table in front of me.  
“Is something the matter?” He asked, forcing a smile, perhaps he still felt awkward talking to me?  
“I...my brother, Sugimaru, sent me some things from home recently” I started, “including this box, I thought you might find it of some interest.” I pushed it to him and he took off the lid, yet another look of surprise crossed his aging face,  
“My, my, I do remember these indeed” he said, “the Yin belonged to your mother, am I correct.”  
“Yes, and the Yang to my father” I confirmed.

“It was not so much the necklaces” I sighed, “but the paper underneath.” He gave me a small frown and lifted the two chains out of the box and handed them to me.  
“On the papers are names of couples who have owned the two, above my mother's...” I trailed off, not quiet sure what to say. He picked up the spectacles again and glared at the list,  
“Sakura, Yorikane, Hibari, Mitsutsuna...” he too trailed off and sighed. He placed the spectacles down and put the paper back before handing the box back to me.  
“I was wondering...if perhaps you had known the Akechi on the list?” I finally asked. Shin came over and placed a hand on Mitsuhide's shoulder, he gave her a smile and patted her hand. He then turned back to me,  
“Akechi Mitsutsuna was my Father, many think that it is Mitsuyasu but that is not the case” he explained, “my Father died when I was seven, your grandmother, Toyoa Hibari, was his concubine, she gave birth to your mother the start of the next year after my Father died. So, yes, I'm your Uncle.”

“If I may ask” I started but Mitsuhide shook his head and I stayed quiet.  
“If you wish to ask why your Father and brothers dislike me then the only people you can ask are them, I know not” he sighed, “however, if you'd like me to decode any of the ancient characters for you, just ask.”  
“Chichi-ue, can Uda-hime call you Oji-ue?” Jin asked.  
“Jin be quiet” Shin snapped. He glared at his mother and went off in a huff. Mitsuhide gave a gentle laugh,  
“Shin, don't be so hard on the boy, he was being nice” he then gave me a smile, “if you wish to call me Oji-ue, you may.”

I had no wishes to stay in the confinements of the castle, not even the though of Mizuki might persuade me to stay. I went down to the village at the bottom of the hill and just walked around. I took a little money with me, even though I was quite sure that I wouldn't use it. Even though I wanted to be alone being in the town was rather pleasant. No one knew me so I could wander freely.

Except someone did know me.  
“Uda-hime? What are you doing here?” Asked a voice...a very enegetic voice. I tried not to shiver and turned around to see who it was. It was exactly who I thought it would be, Hashiba Hideyoushi, peasant to Daimyo and Oda Nobunaga's top retainer, or one of them anyway. He was a short, excitable man who was very battle hardened.  
“I...I” I couldn't form a coherent sentence and just bowed my head.  
“I suppose being stuck in the castle all day is not so much fun” he sighed, “come on, you have to come back.”

“Hikari!” Called a voice and I almost jumped out of my skin when I recognised the voice.  
“Hitoko-hime?!” I called back and found myself off my feet and being swung round by the now twenty year old Hitoko.  
“Goodness me” Hideyoushi said, looking rather startled, having taken a step back.  
“I'd apologise” someone sighed, “but she'd just do it again, it's become useless.” Hitoko laughed as she pulled away,  
“Oh, anata, don't be like that” she smiled, reaching her hand out to Takatora who took it, going a little red as he did. 

Hitoko quizzed me as we walked back up to Kiyosu,  
“I thought you were sent to the Uesugi after Odani” she started off with, she was holding my hand and making me feel very small, she was taller than everyone there with the exclusion of Takatora who was hardly taller anyway.  
“I've been sent back, Shin-hime asked that I was, she's fearful of a war between the Oda and Uesugi, thought it better we returned” I explained.  
“You aught to be careful” Hideyoushi warned me, “you shouldn't say Shin-hime is scared, the woman is scared of nothing.” He laughed and then continued talking to his wife. 

“Hitoko-hime, Todo-sama, might I ask what brings you here” I asked when Hitoko was satisfied with all of the answers I had given her.  
“I used to serve Nobunaga's nephew, Oda Nobusumi,” Takatora answered, “however since my services have been moved to Hashiba Hidetsugu, Hideyoushi-sama's brother.” It surprised me that Hitoko hadn't been killed, though I didn't say this. All of Azai Nagamasa's biological children had been ten or less, so they were let free providing they were female. The age had not stopped Manbukumaru being killed. However Hitoko had not only been an adult but she'd also been a commander in the army. I suppose that was something she'd tell another time.  
“Uda-hime! I'd like to speak with you” snapped a voice. It was a familiar snap that I had heard many times, if anything it was more a normal voice for Nobunaga than a snap. I glanced at Hitoko and she smiled at me before I quickly went over to Nobunaga who practically dragged me into a more private room. I'd never been called on by Nobunaga before, at least not alone. 

“What is this?” He asked, holding up Sugimaru's letter in front of me. I'd left it on the table...oh no. Oh no. Oh no.  
“My brother sent it to me” I answered. Nobunaga made a “hmph” sound,  
“So I understand that your Father is after a marriage alliance between the Oda and the Mei?”  
“That is stated, however it is the first time I have been informed” I answered. Nobunaga nodded,  
“Understood. write back to your brother and tell him that his head and organs will remain in their rightful place.” He handed the letter back to me and sent me on my way.

 

_Dear Sugimaru_

_What a shame, well it got here eventually so no worries._  
They are treating just fine, thank you for asking. Are you well yourself?  
I'm sorry about being unable to spend as much time with Akizuki, I can only hope we do not become the same. I appear to have found myself a female lover and with myself unable to defy father easily, if at all I fear I shall. 

_Mitsunari and I stay away from each other now, I suppose it saddens me slightly we have been friends for neigh on ten years after all but what must be done must be done. It appears men who have a preference for my gender do like to throw their weight around, it's rather terrifying. However someone did manage to take your letter and give it to Oda. While he seems doubtful of this marriage alliance, he did tell me to reassure you that your head and organs shall remain in their rightful places so you aught not to fear. Perhaps he thinks the same as you._

_Please, thank Nana for me, the scarf is a lovely home comfort and sure to keep me warm. Might I ask, though please do thank father, why any of you have rejected to tell me that Akechi Mitsuhide is our Uncle, I found out today and it was certainly a surprise. I would like to have been told by one of you. Nevertheless I feel honour in inheriting these age old necklaces._

_Also thank you for the book, I cannot tell you the joy in being able to read just the letter! I look forward to finally being able to read a full book. Tell everyone I wish them well and that I miss them all._

_Tenshi_


	13. Tedorigawa's Prelude

The battle of Tedorigawa came rather quickly after that and I had to stop my contact with Sugimaru for a little only to find him and the rest of my family at Kiyosu castle.  
“Hikari!” Keiji called to me and I rushed over to them, there was some kind of banquet going on to accommodate all of the new comers for the gathering force. Keiji picked me up and swung me round before setting me do only to be almost knocked off my feet by Nobusuke. My two eldest brothers; Kenichi, who was now 32, and Saichiro, who was 30, didn't knock me off my feet but Saichiro gave my shoulders a squeeze and Ken ruffled my hair. 

Sugimaru appeared a couple of minutes later and hooked an arm around my shoulders from behind,  
“And how is that reading go Imouto?” He asked in greeting.  
“Halfway through” I smiled as he let go of me and stood beside Kenichi.   
“Not bad, nothing you happening to be struggling over?” He asked, smiling. I shook my head, smiling, feeling rather proud of myself though I didn't say it.

“Uda-hime, come with me” Uda Yoritada said, placing a hand on my shoulder. I knew he, my father and Oda had been in some heated discussion and that eventually Ishida Masatsugu had been dragged into it as well. That worried me some what but I did my best to ignore it. I glanced at Sugimaru for help but he just returned the look of worry and shook his head lightly. I let Yoritada lead me away, trying not to shake as he did. Couldn't this wait until after the battle was over?

I knew it was going to happen before anyone said a word. Just because he was there. I knelt beside him, not saying a word, waiting for them to tell me something I already knew. Why? Couldn't it be to an Oda boy? Or just someone else?   
“Duty binds us” Father started off with, “all of us. It is our way of life that none of us will ever escape. Whether that duty be to bring order to the land. To protect our lands or our family we all have a duty. These duties will be passed onto our children.”  
“That is why the two of you will carry a duty to keep peace through your marriage” Masatsugu continued, “Uda-hime, you carry relations to many great clans; the Oda, Akechi, Toyoa and therefore Hattori, as well as Mori, Ikeda and Sanada. My son, you would bind the Ishida and Iwate to all of these clans, your only intention shall become to uphold your family name. For it should be one of greatness.”

When they let us go I ignored anything Mitsunari may have wished to say to me and decided to go and sit by the same pond that Shin had found me by last time.   
“Hikari” Sugimaru said as I tried to walk past him, he stood in front of me and wrapped his arms around me, “come on, get that look off your face.”  
“Let me go Sugimaru” I hissed, trying to wriggle out of his grip.  
“They want you to marry the Ishida kid, don't they?” He asked, still not letting go.  
“Yes, now let me go” I answered.  
“Dad went on about duty didn't he” Sugimaru persisted.  
“Yes he did, now let me go” I hissed. He let go and stepped aside.

Outside was cold and I was glad to have Nana's scarf with me, glad it was big enough to cover more of my shoulders. The water before me had frozen in parts, usually winter didn't come this early but it looked as if cold was here to reign.   
“Uda-hime” said a voice, more gentle and pleasant than any others that had said my name today. Shin sat beside me again,   
“Nobunaga told me whom you're to marry, I'm sorry.”

I sighed and told her what had been bothering me since I had realised what was going to happen,  
“It's not so much marrying him that I'm upset about.” Shin glanced at me, looking rather confused.  
“When we were running away from Odani I fell and hit my head on something” I began explaining, “you know how, when you're about to die, your whole life is supposed to flash before your eyes?”  
“It's happened many a time in battles” Shin replied.  
“I'd hardly lived a life, I still hardly have, most people of our status seem to live so long who knows how much more I have to live” I sighed, “I think, when I hit my head, my life did flash before my eyes, but what was to come, not what had been.”

So I explained about the dancing couple and the blood that kept almost hitting them. About their children, three boys, three girls. How they never stopped arguing but forgot their differences for their children. How the youngest boy left them, only for blood to replace him. Finally the woman running from the blood only to be hit and that being the end.   
“You think that it's starting to come true?” Shin asked. I nodded,  
“I don't want it to, it seemed so...”  
“So sad, destroying, I know” Shin sighed, “it'll be alright, it's just your head messing with you.”

Shin left me alone and I stared at the water for a little longer. That couple's story was still imprinted on my mind, even though it was just a dream I'd never forgotten any of it. Not the dancing, the laughing, the children at the very start. Neither had I forgotten the touch of my mother as she tried to wipe the blood from my face. Why would I forget it? It seemed to be playing my life out...no it was just a dream. It couldn't be true. Shin was right, it was just my brain panicking and trying to scare me.

“My Lady?” Asked a calm, soothing voice.  
“I've asked you not to call me that” I sighed. She sat beside me an pulled me to her, laying my head on her shoulder and gently stroking my hair.  
“What plagues you Tenshi?” Mizuki asked. Before I could give her an answer she kissed me, a long , soft kiss that induced a pleasant silence. Mizuki's lips were soft as always and she held me gently, one arm right around my waist and the other hand resting on my hip. My heart beat again her's as we kissed, undoubtedly syncing. This was love, not what I had shared with Mitsunari, no, that was nothing compared this.

“Is it because you must marry the Ishida man?” Mizuki asked, unravelling my hair so it fell down my back, the ends touching the ground. I nodded and she pushed a hand into my hair, her other hand touching my cheek gently.  
“I shall remain in your service forever” she smiled, “regardless of circumstance, you will always have me to turn to.” I smiled back as she pulled me over again, my head once again on her shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her, breathing in her scent,  
“I could never leave you behind.”

“What a surprise” said a voice, we both jumped and turned to see Mitsunari. I glared at him,  
“Why are you here?”  
“Oh I just wanted to see if you were alright” he shrugged, “no matter, it seems you have someone else to comfort you. I honestly never thought that you'd have a liking for the ladies Uda-hime.” I pulled away from Mizuki and stood,  
“You won't tell, will you? I've kept every secret you've told me over the last ten years.”  
“Who would I tell?” He replied, smiling at me.

“It was you!” I snapped, “you're the one who gave my brother's letter to Nobunaga!”  
“So what if I did?” He replied, frowning, “surely you should be ashamed of keeping the secret from Lord Nobunaga.”   
“And if Nobunaga happened to be in a sour mood that would have got my brother killed” I snapped, marching over to him and grabbing him by his collar,  
“What the hell has gotten into you?!” He smiled down at me again and took my hands off him,  
“I am simply doing my duty, it's no good to leave information like that lying around.” 

“I wanted to stay friends with you” I sighed, “I really did, for ten years I've known you, seen you almost day in day out for most of those years. I really liked you Mitsunari, you were my best friend.”  
“What's stopping you staying my friend?” He asked.  
“You...Mitsunari, the last time we spoke, does that not tell you enough?” I replied, rather startled. He sighed,  
“I'm sorry.” I frowned at him,  
“You think that'll do it, make me happy again?” I snapped.  
“Look, it's all I can do for now, I promise I'll do more eventually” he sighed, “but for now, I'll keep your secret” he glanced at Mizuki for a moment before looking back at me, “and say I'm sorry as many times as you want me to.” I nodded,  
“Alright then, just...just one more time, so I don't snap at you and sound ungrateful.”  
“I'm sorry” he repeated, “not just for that, but again, for everything that's happened.”

He left us there, promising to keep our secret with the agreement we would try being friends as it was now formalised that we would have to spend the rest of our lives together.   
“I didn't know you'd known each other that long” Mizuki sighed, inviting me back into her warm embrace.   
“I've been in love with him almost as long as that” I sighed, “but I'm glad I don't any more.”  
“How so?” Mizuki asked and I saw her struggle not to add my Lady. I suppose it fit the sentence. I looked up at her and touched her cheek gently,  
“Because then I would never have found you.”

“My Lady!” Shouted a voice, an unfamiliar voice but nevertheless aimed at me. I pulled away from Mizuki and pulled my clothes together, attempting to tie my obi quicker than was particularly possible.  
“Hatsu?!” Mizuki called, “whatever is the matter?!”  
“We're to march to the Uesugi lands” Hatsu called, “Oda-dono's orders!” Mizuki glanced at me and then kissed me gently on the lips,  
“Good luck Tenshi.”

Being at the head of an army was very different to the journey that Uehara, Mitsunari and I had taken. I was riding not with them but with my brothers and father, as well as Akizuki who looked much happier than he had been. Nobusuke and Keiji were constantly trying to race each other while Father, Kenichi and Saichiro would yell at them and Sugimaru just watched.   
“Anni-ue, do we really have to fight them?” I asked, surprised I could raise my voice above the sound of crashing hooves.  
“I know you have your friend Imouto” Sugimaru shouted back, “but things like that need to be left behind in these situations.” 

This was also going to take a great deal more time than it had for Uehara, Mitsunari and I. A massive army insistent on stopping all the time and every night with practically half the motivation it had when Kyoto had been the point of attack when I was around eight years old. This was going to take forever.  
“You get your own room at least” Sugimaru grinned, “I've got to share with our smelly brothers.” I giggled and pushed him, well...more nudging his shoulder,  
“If they're that bad go stay with Akizuki!” Sugimaru laughed and pushed me back,  
“Well, maybe I will.”

After we had eaten, Sugimaru stayed with me most of the evening. He got me to read aloud to see if I really had got the hang of reading or if I was just putting on a brave face.  
“Not bad” he commented when I finally gave up, the book he'd sent me almost finished now, “pays off, doesn't it?” I nodded and smiled at him brightly but he sighed and patted my head,  
“You miss her, don't you?” I sighed and nodded, it had only been a day and I longed for Mizuki more than I ever had. Sugimaru gave me a comforting smile and tapped me on the nose,  
“If you need me just come and get me, Akizuki is on the other side so if I'm not with our brothers I'm there.” He got up and showed me the two doors I could crawl through to both rooms,  
“Sorry if we keep you up” he winked as he left, he was too tall to want to attempt crawling through the small tunnels.  
“Anni-ue!” I laughed as he left.

It was true, I found myself longing for someone to hold close as I slept, for someone to kiss goodnight. It felt so cold being alone. Yet at the same time I was too warm, which seemed an impossible feat on such a cold November night. I knew a dream was coming and I did not want to wake everyone else up with my screaming. Perhaps a night walk would be best for this, it would tire me out and help free my mind from these memories. So I did just so, wrapping as many layers as I could and went for a short wander.

I had clearly made a mistake as drunken roars suddenly filled my ears and I found myself in a cramped back alley, surrounded by dim lanterns and the stench of alcohol. I looked about me and quickly made my way towards the main street, pulling my clothes tighter over me as if they would protect me in some way. I was practically running by the time I could make out the street that was lit by the lights of shops. 

Someone grabbed my arm and I found myself being pulled back and slammed into the wall behind me, these buildings weren't like the ones in Kyoto so there was no slope that would stop this kind of thing even though it was to stop dogs doing their business on the side of the shops. I struggled against them and screamed at the top of my lungs, my mouth being covered and cutting off my cry for help. It should have been loud enough.  
“That will do nothing” they growled in my ear, kissing my neck, “they'll think you're just a prostitute.”

I shook and cried as they did as they pleased, slowly twisting my arm if I made too much noise. I'd heard of this happening, granted occasionally but it wasn't under heard of. It's what happened when a siege was broken and the attackers laid waste to the castle. Not here. I was so close to the main street as well, if only I'd had a moment extra. I took another opportunity and screamed again, feeling my arm almost snap as I did. Please, let someone hear me. 

The person suddenly stopped. Their grip loosened on my arm and they fell forward, slumping a little off to the side. I looked up to see Mitsunari, his sword pointed out with blood staining the blade. He glared at the body and then cleaned it and sheathed it.   
“Well? Are you going to stand there all night or are you going to come back inside?” He asked. However he looked confused as I slowly sank to my knees and burst into tears. He gave an irritated sigh but picked me up and carried me back inside, to the warm safety that awaited. 

“Did they?” He prompted as he lay me down on my bed, his voice gentle and quiet. I shook my head and covered my face with my hands, trying to keep my tears quiet.   
“Hey, hey” he mumbled, lying down with me and hugging me from behind, “shh, shh, I've got you.” He gently kissed my hair and hugged my waist tightly,  
“Everything will be alright” he reassured me, rubbing his nose against my neck, “soon you'll be with me all the time, then I can make sure that never happens to you again.”

We stayed up most of the night talking, feeling like we were friends again.  
“I don't mind by the way” he smiled, “about Mizuki, it's only fair, I'll probably be expected to take a number of concubines and I'll probably end up with a male lover along the way.”   
“You do surprise me” I replied, “you didn't seem the type.” He laughed,  
“Did I not? I thought quite the opposite,” I raised my eyebrows at him, “oh, right, yeah, that.” He cleared his throat and changed the subject quickly. Still, it was nice to know he didn't mind.


	14. Winners and Losers

When we finally reached Noto Province we were halted all of a sudden. We were hardly there and were crossing the Tedori river (though some called it Minato) and were close to entering the province. Though something had gone horribly wrong in our case.  
“What's happened” I asked Sugimaru, he shushed me and nodded to Nobunaga who was just ahead of us. One of his scouts had returned and they looked grim, reminding me of Nobunaga's habit of shooting the messenger.  
“Nanao and Suemori castles have fallen, Chou Shigetsura has been slain and the remainder of the Hatakeyama have defected.”

The two castles were vital, especially Nanao, that was the stronghold that we had been sent to back up in the first place. Cho Shigetsura had pulled off a coup d'etat and instated Hatakeyama Yoshitaka and now we had been sent to back him up, except there was no one to back up anymore and a Uesugi force was probably not far away. We were at loss and we hadn't even laid eyes on the enemy force yet.

Sugimaru suddenly seem to think of something or realise it and rode to the front where Nobunaga for once had not stayed true to his habit and let the messenger go.  
“Nobunaga-sama!” He called, stopping his horse just behind Nobunaga, “might I suggest something?”  
“Speak” Nobunaga replied.  
“What if we use our cannons” Sugimaru suggested, “we should bombard them with cannon fire from across the river.”  
“Stand off tactics” Hideyoushi commented, “impressive.”

So we retreated from the bank of the river while a unit stayed back to set up cannons while the rest of us set up a camp.   
“You really think it'll work?” I asked Sugimaru when he came back, absolutely covered in gunpowder which was certainly a funny sight to see.  
“It's the only chance we've got” Sugimaru sighed, “they'll have even more troops than we thought as the Hatakeyama defected, Canon fire should deplete those numbers a little.” 

Night began to fall and nothing happened, nothing looked like it was going to happen either and the feeling in my stomach reminded me of the horrible waiting from Odani. Whenever something reminded me of Odani there was always one person I went to and that was Mitsunari. Since Odani though he had smiled, glared, laughed and cried the look of terror had never quite left his eyes, however hard he tried to mask it with emotion. 

“It's the same isn't it” he sighed when I sat beside him, having wandered about trying to find him for a while. Both Masatsugu and Masazumi glanced at us for a moment but Masazumi shrugged and looked back at the fire, doing his best to keep warm while Masatsugu just automatically became oblivious again.   
“I hate this feeling” I replied, “I'm glad we've had little to eat, otherwise it wouldn't stay.” Mitsunari put an arm around my shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze,  
“I have a feeling we won't be here long anyway, so don't worry.” 

“What's this?” Mitsunari asked, lifting the necklace a little in his armoured hand, “is it one of the necklaces that were in the letter?” I nodded,  
“The other piece is at Kiyosu, I'll give it to you when we're...” I trailed off. I may have made amends with him but I still did not want to go through with this.   
“You can give it to someone else if you really wish” Mitsunari whispered. I shook my head,  
“It's rightfully yours” I sighed and, now it was pitch black, leant across and kissed him on the cheek.

Mitsunari grabbed my arm before I could leave and shushed me quickly,  
“Listen” he whispered. There was a hoot of an owl off in the distance, but it certainly wasn't an owl and was a very butchered human attempt at an owl. I stared at him and he nodded, I grabbed his hand and pulled very gently, moving my head in the direction of the owl sound. He shook his head and I frowned at him. We spent a couple of minutes glaring at one another before Mitsunari rolled his eyes and gave in.

“Going for a romantic walk together are you?” Masazumi asked when we got up.  
“We are” Mitsunari replied in the tone you'd expect him to address his older brother with – a rather stuck up one.   
“Save any other intentions for marriage, you won't have to wait long” Masazumi replied and there was a distinctive thwack when Masatsugu hit him,  
“Go on you two” he said while Masazumi whined at him. 

We continued towards the owl sound for a while and it sounded like the person was just about giving up when I finally replied with a much better, though not brilliant, attempt.  
“Tenshi?” They asked.  
“Kanetsugu?” I replied. The next second I was off my feet being swung around while trying to keep my laughter quiet. It really was pitch black here and none of us could really see anything. I kissed Kanetsugu on the lips, gently running my hands through the bits of hair that had come loose. His grip tightened around my waist for a moment before he put me down and pulled away.

“I saw that” Mitsunari hissed but Kanetsugu did the same to him, picking him up and swinging him round, “HEY PUT ME DOWN!”  
“Mitsunari be quiet” I laughed only to see them kissing as well, surprising me a little.   
“You two, really?” I asked, blinking in surprise. Mitsunari pulled away and laughed lightly, while Naoe scratched the back of his head awkwardly,  
“Guess I was jealous when you were with the Uesugi” he grinned.   
“Oh so now I'm the bad guy?” I laughed, I then hugged them both, “you two the best friends I could ask for.” 

We lay down together and watched the stairs like we used to, me between the two of them, holding their hands. We talked and laughed and that feeling of dread from waiting disappeared, I felt calm and smiled brightly whenever either of them made me laugh.   
“Oh we were joking before” Kanetsugu laughed, “we're not like that, it was Mitsunari's idea to trick you.”   
“Unbelievable” I grinned, rolling my eyes, giving Mitsunari's hand a gentle squeeze. I let go of Naoe's hand for a moment and rolled onto my side to face Mitsunari. I kissed him gently, saying,  
“Only fair” when I pulled away.

There was a sudden call, and the beat of war drums made us all sit up and worry settled back into our stomachs. Kanetsugu jumped to his feet and ran off without so much as a good bye. Mitsunari pulled me to my feet and we ran back as well, as I was a little slower I almost tripped more times than I could count and Mitsunari kept yelling at me to keep up. 

“Where have you two been?!” Sugimaru snapped at us, “go Mitsunari!” Mitsunari let go and ran to where Masazumi and Masatsugu were. Sugimaru glared at me,  
“And what's that on your neck?” He demanded. Sugimaru then slapped me,  
“You stupid girl!” He shouted, pulling me to my feet after having hit me so hard that I'd fallen, “what did you think you were doing?! Disappearing like that!”   
“I'm sorry!” I shouted back, shrinking away from him, not sure what else I could do. Sugimaru just glared at me,  
“Get the rest of your armour on you idiot.”

“Retreat!” Shouted a far off voice. Sugimaru ignored it and was tightening my armour far too tight, clearly very annoyed with me and refusing to believe that really was just mud, which it was.  
“Anni-ue” I mumbled, trying to get him to listen as the call for retreat sounded again. He frowned at me and carried on as he did.   
“Sugimaru!” Nobusuke shouted at him and he finally stopped.  
“What about Katsuie?” He asked. Nobusuke glared at him,  
“Hideyoushi-dono has ordered our retreat, Katsuie-dono is not our concern, NOW MOVE.”

“Come on, up” Nobusuke snapped at me, “they took your horse.” I pulled myself up behind him and clung to him as we galloped off to catch up with the rest of the force. It seemed to last forever, the unpleasant jostling and I was sure I was going to vomit before we finally stopped after relentless travel, anyone too slow being left behind. At the raise of dawn we finally stopped, assured to no longer being pursued.  
“We lost” I mumbled. Nobusuke nodded and added,  
“You've got mud on your neck, Imouto.”

We returned utterly defeated, it was an embarrassment to the Oda but we very quickly had times to redeem ourselves. Before we could even return home we were brought the news of Matsunaga Hisahide once again turning his back on Oda. We were rejoined with the Akechi and Niwa forces, led by Mitsuhide and Ujikatsu respectively, as well as Shin and her brother, Yamada Masamaru. 

“It comes as no surprise” I heard Shin say at one point, “he never seemed worthy of trust. I trusted Jubei more than him when I first met them.”  
“Hey” Mitsuhide called, sounding rather offended. He must have been this mysterious Jubei character.   
“Be quiet Mitsuhide” Nobunaga said, “yes, I agree with you Shin, it is best we get rid of him while we have our chance. This men are barely worn from battle, all they have done is march.” 

It struck me that I in fact knew nothing about Mitsuhide except what was right before me, I knew he had Shin-hime as a concubine and that they had a son called Jin who would probably be called something else in a few months anyway. I knew he had other children, of course I did, his eldest son, Mitsuyoshi, was with him. Tama, who was fourteen, must have been at home, safe. I knew nothing, however, of Mitsuyoshi and Tama's mother, other than her name being Hiroko. I'd never seen her and, however much I didn't like the thought, I could only assume that she had passed away.

Meanwhile we were making our way to Shigisan castle, which was on the very border of Kawachi and Yamato provinces up, surprise, surprise, Mt Shigi. We were being pushed to get there at an alarming rate but it was doable and we arrived only six days after Tedorigawa. With the weight of the defeat from the Uesugi however the soldiers were determined to redeem themselves and so were the rest of us.

It burnt, oh how it burnt. A great glory of red, bringing the castle to it's knees quicker than any I had ever seen. It took a day to destroy it completely and it lit the sky like a great burning candle. This was Matsunaga Hisahide's last stand and, without a doubt, he went out with a bang. He had his pride as well, refusing for anything to become a trophy for Nobunaga. He smashed his favourite teapot that Nobunaga too seemed to like so much and then committed seppuku, declaring that not even his head should be Nobunaga's trophy. 

We had entered the castle by now and I, standing very proud with my Naginata, was making short work of the people atop of the beginning to burn roofs. I knew my route round thanks to such a direct one being given to me by Mitsunari. I also knew I had to be quick, my only route of escape was liable to set on fire at any given time. As I came to the edge of one of the roofs I saw Matsunaga Kojiro, Hisahide's youngest son, holding a head.

“Kojiro!” I called, running over to him, realising what he was about to do and who's head that was. He turned around almost toppled back but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back. He didn't have to die, he was the son of a disliked concubine, why should he have to serve a father who hadn't even wanted to look at him. He stared at me, completely silent as usual, his grip tight on my shoulder while I refused to let go of his sleeve. He was in pure white clothes, not fit for a battle at all, perfect for suicide. 

I knew the flames were slowly creeping up on us and I had to work out exactly what we were going to do, or even if I could get him to come with me at all. He didn't like breaking rules. I pulled his arm, attempting to get him to go in the direct I was going but he didn't budge. The poor boy just shook his head and tried to pull himself from my grip.  
“You can come and serve Nobunaga-sama” I tried to insist.  
“I cannot” he replied, shaking his head.   
“You can!” I shouted, “you must live!” All that seemed to do was make him tug away more.

“There might be one thing” he mumbled and some how I heard him over the ever closer coming roar of the flames. He stepped forward and wrapped a quick arm around my waist, kissing me as gently as a man in a hurry could. As I lost my grip on his sleeve, intending to put my own arms around him out of pure instinct, he jumped away, grabbed the head and unsheathed his sword. He ran to the edge but the tip against his throat and tumbled down however many hundred feet, crashing into the hard floor and impaling himself. 

I had little choice but to run the other way, stumbling across the roof which was beginning to collapse all while a horrible feeling of nausea sat in my stomach, much worse than worry or fright. I almost fell off the roof when a tile slipped from underneath my feet but I somehow managed to grab another and pull myself up. I practically tumbled down the stairs which were indeed on fire, and out to where Mitsunari and a small group of men the same standing as he was were waiting.

I collapsed when I got there and started heaving, throwing up not a minute later. It burnt my mouth and I remained practically motionless for a while, except for my chest rising and falling at such a rate that it almost hit the ground. I'd brought up nothing but bile, having not eaten since the morning and it stung my throat and corroded my mouth. I could hear Oda off in the distance. He was laughing.  
“The tyrant is no more!”


	15. New Year

New Year passed with the usual celebrations, all war forgotten, it was perhaps the only time the country was at peace. Instead of spending our time at our own homes however Oda called for us to come back to Kiyosu not two months after we'd left. Not that there was anything to complain about, except the journey in thick clothing – warm yes but a little uncomfortable and very heavy. When we reached Kiyosu it was being cleaned top to bottom and we helped of course.

On New Year's eve we all gathered in the same one room where I had been reunited with my brother's and ate the traditional meal that was always made for New Year's eve, though I couldn't say I'd seen it made in such a large quantity. The meal was Toshikoshi soba, buckwheat noodles that were there to symbolise longevity. Once we'd finished eating I took my time to explore the castle while everything was prepared for the Bonenkai party to signal the end of the year. We adults used it to drown the last year in various beverages and food while children used it as an excuse to stay up as late as possible.

Around the castle was hoard upon hoard of decorations and the corridors were filled with the smell of pine, plums and bamboo. All three of my favourite smells in one! Mizuki walked with me through the corridors, arm in arm whenever there was no one there to see us.   
“I missed you Tenshi” she sighed as I lay my head on her shoulder, she gently stroked my hair and kissed my forehead, “it's been so lonely without you.” I looked up at her and touched her face,  
“I have seen things I wish I had not” I sighed, “seeing you has cured me of those horrible sights.”

When we returned on the call of Sugimaru, who had forgiven me since we'd returned from Shigisan and had been persuaded it was just mud, we were surprised to see some of the Jesuits. They were Portuguese and Spanish men who had come to covert us to Christianity. Personally I'd refused any kind of attempt, though they'd tried to talk me into it several times, I suppose I was seen as easy; I was a woman who was supposed to be submissive. I refused, much to their surprise. The fusion of Buddhism and Shinto that I had grown up with all my life made perfect sense to me and it was going to stay that way.

I had to leave Mizuki then, much to my regret but Yoritada, Masatsugu and my father all wanted to see Mitsunari and I together, I wasn't sure why but that's what they wanted and I had to.   
“Oh, I do believe you two are to be married?” Asked one of the Jesuit priests at one point. I was stood with Mitsunari, holding his hand while we drank and the priest had surprised us.  
“Yes, yes we are” Mitsunari answered while I took a step back and partially concealed myself behind him. I was not all too fond of the Portuguese men, even priests, after what had happened.  
“A little shy is she?” The priest smiled, doing his best to look friendly. Mitsunari sighed and tried to coax me forward,  
“Come on Tenshi, please” he whispered.

“Tenshi? What a beautiful name” the priest remarked. Mitsunari went a little red,  
“Uda-hime” he corrected, he didn't particularly want to but it would be worse if the priest continued to call me that, “though personally I like to call her Uta.”  
“Uta?” The priest asked. Mitsunari thought for a moment, his knowledge of Portuguese was limited but not entirely useless words,  
“Cantiga.”  
“I presume you sing well, Uda-hime?” The priest asked, I could only glance at Mitsunari innocently, not sure what to say. He smiled and nodded,  
“She does. Forgive her, she is, as you said, a little shy.” 

“Why did you say that?” I asked when the priest went away and I came out from my hiding spot.  
“It was all I could think of, easy conversation with them isn't as you might think, particularly easy” Mitsunari answered, “anyway you have a beautiful singing voice.”  
“You've never heard me sing” I replied, frowning at him.   
“Well...” he trailed off and gave me a small smile, rubbing the back of his neck.  
“You spied on me when I was alone at Echigo?” I asked. He nodded,  
“Your voice is beautiful though” he did his best to save himself with, “and I would like to call you Uta, if that's alright?”  
“I think about it” I answered.

The night wore on and we drank and ate more and more. The priests suggested that we dance in the way they did in their homeland which was...an interesting feat to attempt. Mitsunari and I had learnt the dances at Echigo and so were asked to demonstrate multiple times, I could see Sugimaru laughing in the corner, having to cling to Akizuki to stay upright. I must have been more shades of red than I could count. Mitsunari seemed to enjoy it even less than I did and I had to keep reminding him to keep the grumpy look off his face. He wasn't very good at that, but he was a good dancer I could give him that.

Soon people were copying us, joining in. First was Shin and Mitsuhide, Shin being very into it while Mitsuhide repeatedly saying he had two left feet and that he was too old for this. Oda told him not to be such a killjoy and galloped round the room with Nou-hime, who just looked a little startled and followed him round the room.   
“Who knew we would start something like this” Mitsunari laughed, keeping his voice low as Nobunaga passed us.  
“Better than starting a war” I replied.

The next dance was a little easier to understand and went round, swapping partners after the same short dance. I danced with Sugimaru, who said he preferred me to dance with over his wife whom he didn't like. Father as well, but he didn't say anything, neither did Akizuki, he just watched Sugimaru's back. Oda asked me details of Echigo, as to how I had learnt the dances and who had taught me them. Mitsuhide just smiled, trying to hide how uncomfortable he was and how out of breath he was getting. Finally we were all reunited with our original partners for a final, much slower dance.

I lay my head on Mitsunari's shoulder, seen as all the other women had done the same with their partners.   
“Before, why did you say about starting a war?” He asked.  
“I don't know” I sighed, “perhaps it because they happen all the time, spread dancing rather than war.”  
“How much have you drunk?” He asked, laughing quietly.  
“Shut up” I replied.

“You put on quite the show” Father said to me, pulling me aside as the night continued to ware on and never seemed to end.  
“A show?” I asked, frowning at him in confusion.   
“Why, you and Mitsunari, it's almost as if the two of you were in love” Father answered, smiling at me, “you don't happen to be do you?” I shook my head,  
“We're friends but that's as far as it goes.” Father sighed,  
“I do wish I could have married you to someone you loved, but seen as it's a woman I can't.”

The words hit me like a ten tonne of bricks. Father knew...who's to say Yoritada didn't, or even Oda.  
“Sugimaru told me, no one else knows except the two of us and whoever you have seen fit to tell” Father reassured me. I sighed and looked away,  
“I suppose she won't be in my service any more when I'm married?”   
“She will” Father smiled, “why wouldn't she be.”

“Chichi-ue, is there a reason you brought this up?” I asked, it had struck me as a very odd remark to make.  
“We went be going home immediately, neither will the Ishida” Father sighed, “you're to be married in two weeks.” I nodded,  
“I understand.” Father sighed,  
“You still have the necklaces, don't you?” I nodded again,  
“The Yang is in my room,” I pulled the Yin out from underneath my clothes. 

It was freezing outside but I went anyway, it was nicer than the hot, stuffiness of inside. It seemed to have become a pattern, for me to escape outside when something had upset me or I did not want to be confronted by anyone.   
“Uda-hime” called a voice, unintentionally loud and bubbly. I smiled and turned to look at Hitoko who was wearing a bright kimono, vibrant about the white snow that lay in a thick blanket.   
“Good evening Hitoko-hime” I replied, continuing to smile at her.

“So” she started, leaning on the closest tree, “you're marrying the Ishida boy.” I went a little red as she continued,  
“I always thought you'd marry one of them. It just made sense, you never seemed to be apart from them. Though maybe the Northern boy would have been better for you.”  
“He's been married since we became adults” I sighed, “I'd have no chance.” Hitoko smiled,  
“I'm sure you and Ishida will get on just fine. Takatora and I didn't really get on for a while you know.”

This startled me they had been the perfect couple from the start because they were actually in love, which was hard to come by in our social class unless it was a lord and his concubine. I'd heard the story while going from lord to lord Takatora had tried and tried to find her for two entire years. Even when he'd found her he'd been put under the illusion she was happy and had to return twice before he could save her from the semi-confinement.

“Thank you, Hitoko-hime” I sighed, “for protecting us at Odani.” She smiled at me and patted my shoulder gently,  
“I couldn't have any of you losing each other now could I?” I gave her a small smile, thinking of everyone who I had known for those seemingly brief three years. I found I had forgotten names and faces already, what was that little girl's name? Who was Uzuki Iro? I wrapped my arms around myself and pressed my chin against my chest as my eyes squeezed shut.

How dare I forget them.


	16. A Binding Drink

Not that I had any time to remember them either. 

With new year packed up and out of the way preparations for the wedding had begun, it seemed they started even before the sun rose on New Year's Morning. A dress, food, formal war for everyone and headache for me. I didn't enjoy planning things, often people went into much further detail than I cared about, but for the most part I just had to have clothes fitted and have things put on my face that wouldn't cause a rash or make it swell up. How I survived any of that I have no idea.

“Oh look at you” Shin beamed, stroking my cheeks gently, “doesn't she look beautiful Mitsuhide!” Mitsuhide gave me a small smile, the thick spectacles were now sat on his nose – one the men from Portugal had fashioned the ones he had to hold into the European style so he didn't have to hold them. Shin smiled and kissed my forehead,  
“You're the most beautiful bride” she laughed lightly, “I'm jealous.” I went red, hardly visible underneath the white paste, no one had any idea of the contents of but it didn't kill me and that was the important bit. At this point Shin looked at her hands and just sighed,  
“Well, you look beautiful anyway dear, we'll see you soon.”

I thought of my mother for a moment when everything was prepared and it was just a case of waiting. Nana was taking her place, she'd done that for every wedding since Nobusuke's to a Date girl and Mother had only ever been to Kenichi's and Saichiro's, and she'd died only two months later.  
“Why so low?” Mizuki asked as she passed me, she'd taken her chance to go and admire the temple.  
“I...I was just thinking of my mother” I sighed, looking away for a moment. Mizuki went to touch my face but I quickly grabbed her hand, “don't, you'll get white on your hands, they put too much on.” She laughed lightly,  
“At least it won't be an everyday thing.”

The first thing was an explanation of the ceremony just so everyone knew what they were doing. Not that anyone really, really needed it, we'd all been to enough weddings. The first proper part of the ceremony was for everyone, both attendees and bride and groom, was to bow to be symbolically purified which is called Shubatsu. This was when the nerves set in properly. I was terrified of doing something wrong, I knew it wouldn't matter too much but still...it didn't half manage to scare me witless. The next thing was for the priest, who was an unusually short man, to announce our marriage to the alter and once again everyone stood and bowed. This is known as Norito-sojo.

Then the most important, and I mean important, part of the wedding. San San Kudo. Mitsunari and I knelt, beside one another, and one of the shrine maidens placed three sake cups in front of us, stacked neatly so the smallest was in the medium which was contained with the largest. She then filled the smallest, tipping it three times before filling it. It was then handed to me and I then lifted it three times slightly, while also bowing my head a little. Once I had drunk the sake it was handed back and given to Mitsunari. Again repeated, with different cups of course, until sake had been drunk by the both of us once from each size. This sealed our marriage, from this point on I was technically an Ishida.

As the night went on I changed yet again in to a much more young girlish kimono which was a yellow colour and finally whipped off the white, it had started to itch my skin and I did my best to hide a red patch that had developed on my cheek. We took to dancing then, at Oda's suggestion, like they did in the west at weddings rather than just have a dancer dance for us. It was good fun, none of us could really dance to be perfectly honest but we all tried our best.  
"You look beautiful" Mitsunari whispered to me for the hundredth time. I went red and hid my face in his chest. I wanted to kiss him but I knew that would have to wait.

Again I changed into a purple kimono. It was rich colour with a golden obi, suited for the now all adult party, all of the children having been made to go to bed as it was late. I had skipped a couple of the changes and only had one left but no one seemed to have noticed. Many of the men got very, very drunk while wives chattered and gossiped.  
"You're not going to go and drink with your friends?" I asked in surprise. Mitsunari smiled gently and placed a soft kiss on my forehead,  
"And ruin our wedding night by being drunk? Absolutely not." I smiled back and lay my head on his chest, listening and watching everyone else. It was a lovely moment. The wars, they weren't happening. People weren't trying to kill one another. Children could laugh and play as they wished. We knew what it was like to have that weighing on your mind. Our first proper taste of war had been when we fought with the Azai four years ago.

“Have you heard of their...insistence” Mitsunari asked, stroking my hair gently and watching the others. Shin was practically falling all over Mitsuhide and he just looked awkward. Oda and one of his concubines were acting more like how we were supposed to, not how adults should.   
“Insistence?” I asked, spotting Sugimaru give up and face plant the floor, Akizuki picked him up and carried him out.   
“Well...there's...” he sighed, “there's been some suspicion you're not a virgin, and they want proof.”  
“Well...technically I'm not” I replied, “so how do they want this proof?”  
“Blood on the sheets” Mitsunari answered, “just a little.”  
Once alone in a shared room that Mitsunari and I had temporarily been given I pulled off the purple kimono and stripped down to the thinnest layer I was wearing. It was a light pink and quite harsh in the cold but I could live with it. While I waited I sat reading the last of the book that Sugimaru had given to me, such a thrilling and heart breaking conclusion I was almost in tears. I could see the next one, written by the main character's great grand daughter, sat in the corner just waiting for me.

I had no time to start it however as Mitsunari came in. Once the door was firmly closed he came and sat beside me, still fully dressed.  
“Listen, we don't actually have to...if there's blood then that's enough for them” he said. I shifted so I was sat across from him with my legs crossed,  
“Only if you want to, but it's almost happened so many times. So, why not now? I mean we actually can now. Then we can decide whether it happens again or not.” He smiled,  
“Oh if you insist” he joked, leaning over and kissing me gently.

“How are you actually going to do this then” I asked, stopping him for a moment, “I haven't got the foggiest idea.”  
“Ah, right that” he got up off me and shuffled through the clothes that were now discarded on the floor beside us, he got out his tanto and continued, “I'll just prick either one of us with this.”  
“Me” I said immediately. He frowned, a little surprised,  
“Are you sure, I mean it's not like they'll know.”  
“Just paranoid” I sighed, sitting up and seating myself on his lap.

“Ouch” I hissed as he gave me a sharp jab, piercing a tiny hole in my thigh. It had to be somewhere no one would really see bar myself, Mitsunari and Mizuki so that our plan wasn't given away.  
“You said” he hissed back. I glared at him when he pulled a worried looking face,  
“How much did you make me bleed?”  
“Maybe a little too much...” he trailed off, going a little red, “there's enough on the sheets but it's still going, get off the bed.” I shuffled so I was on the floor while he ripped up the vest he wore in the winter months under the layers and layers of clothes. He quickly wrapped it round my leg and wiped up what was on the floor with the rest.

He then got back in bed and made me lie down, pulling me close and kissing my shoulder blade gently.  
“So? Ever again?” I asked, I was curious...I hadn't minded it too much. It wasn't the same, that was fair to say as Mizuki was a different person entirely, she had her ways and habits that were different to Mitsunari's. Still, after all these months that built awkward tension between the two of us it was nice to let it all go without yelling at each other over some petty argument.   
“Yeah, sometime” he smiled.

We lay facing one another for a while, talking, no longer feeling sleepy.  
“Hey, you know when Shin-hime asked to talk to you alone when we came back from the Uesugi...what did she say?” I asked, shuffling a little closer, feeling a little cold.  
“That I would raise to some kind of greatness” Mitsunari explained, “apparently a Tanuki man would try and take it from me, I don't particularly understand. Since then the only thing I've been convinced of is that Shin is not the most sane one in the box.” I laughed,  
“Doesn't surprise me much.”

“So, what about you? Have any other secrets to tell?” He asked, pulling me into his chest and kissing my forehead gently.  
“Like what?” I replied, giggling quietly.  
“Oh you know, slept with anyone other than Mizuki and I?” He suggested, “did you ever love Naoe?”  
“Innocent teenage love count that was one sided because of Osen?” I asked.  
“Guess so, you're pretty clean you know” Mitsunari smiled. I rolled my eyes,  
“I suppose that's a good thing, not that I can have any fun.”  
“No one gets to have any fun, noble, Emperor or peasant” Mitsunari sighed

“Mitsunari...you know your dreams about...well I guess Odani” I started, “was there anything else you saw?”  
“What do you mean?” Mitsunari asked, but he didn't let me answer and gets on top of me, pressing his mouth to my mine and seeming to be keeping me silent with kisses. I let him do so and watched him as he looked down on me,  
“Do...do I scare you?” I reached up and touched his cheek,  
“Why would you scare me?”

Mitsunari sighed and leant down, kissing my neck gently and, when he pulled away he moved some hair from my eyes and gave me a small smile.  
“There's something else that your dreams make you think of isn't there, because something scares you.” He pointed this out with surprising precision and now I realised what he had meant when he asked. Not if he himself scared me, but if being with him scared me. So I explained about the couple; all the dancing and running from blood and everything. 

He gave a small sigh,  
“It's just your head messing with you Tenshi” he mumbled, lying down beside me again, “it won't happen, I don't think either of us would have gotten this far in the story anyway if it was.” I sighed and leant into his chest, closing my eyes and curling up a little. He put his arms around me and rested his chin on top of my head.  
“Oyasumi, Hikari” he whispered.  
“Oyasumi, Sakichi” I whispered back.

Only the problem with this night, usually the happiest for peasant girls and dread for the nobles, was that everything had felt forced. We hadn't wanted to be married to each other. We hadn't wanted to have sex. We both would have been better off with people we didn't know whom we had no history with whatsoever. Yet here we were, cuddling up to one another as if we really were lovers. Those bound by duty will never find true happiness I fear.


	17. Nagahama

Returning home was very different to how it had been last time. I would not be returning to my familiar Azai built castle with it's little village and Nana to help me with everything. Instead I would be returning to the Ishida's home which was situated in Nagahama, close by to Hideyoushi's home seen as technically they served him, not Nobunaga. It would be smaller, cosier for certain and we'd be close to Hideyoushi, who had many ladies in his service who I got on well with, and with Hidenaga likely to be so close by I could make Hitoko-hime a frequent contact as well. It wouldn't be like home though.

The morning we were supposed to leave on however was threatened with delay as Keiji burst into our room early that morning, telling me to come as quickly as I could. Kenichi stopped me outside Father's room,  
“You realise this may be it, don't you?” I nodded and Ken hugged me,  
“It'll be alright” he mumbled. He then let me past into Father's room. I could tell that Kenichi was genuinely upset, Keiji as well. Even Sugimaru, who passed it off as being unable to concentrate on his book. 

“Chichi-ue” I said when I came in.   
“Hikari” he smiled, his voice very weak and his eyes hardly open, he was visibly struggling. I knelt beside him and smiled at him, he managed to smile back.  
“Look at you” he wheezed, “I never thought I'd see you married, have you given it to him yet?” I pulled the Yang side of the necklace from inside my sleeve,  
“Not yet, I was thinking to give it to him when we reached Nagahama” I answered. Father sighed,  
“Give it to him today, what better than the day the last couple go that the new take their place.” I didn't really understand what he meant, his phrasing was strange, but I nodded. I had to be called away at that point, we didn't have any more time to stay. 

It didn't take long to get to Nagahama, only half a day without stopping but we got their late on in the evening after stopping a couple of times. Confined to a Norimono I was alone and spent the entire time reading one of the two books that Sugimaru had given me. He'd given me this one a while ago, before Tedorigawa, and it was about Emperor Wu of Han's concubine who rose up through the ranks quickly and supported everything he did. It was calming and much less bloody than the one about her Great Grandmother. The second concerned a half Vietnamese, half Uzbek noble Lady who found herself in many positions she did not want to be in and only really wanted a peaceful life. She eventually married a Northern Chinese general, who was a distant relative of Emperor Wu's concubine. 

On one of the times we stopped we were allowed to wander about the local town while the others rested. It was a lovely day compared to the last few weeks of it being freezing, it must have been slowly passing into spring, I could even see the buds of Sakura just waiting to bloom.   
“What are the Sakura like in Nagahama?” I asked as we walked down the main market street, we were getting hungry but wanted something we could just carry with us.  
“They're beautiful” Mitsunari answered, smiling at me. I smiled back and took his hand, squeezing gently for a moment, startling him a little. 

I slept the second part through the second part of the journey, suddenly overwhelmed by sadness. I knew with every ending would start a beginning but they seemed to come at the cruellest of times. I had looked forward to the idea of occasionally visiting my family, being able to see my brothers and Father and Nana, now the next time I did go Father wouldn't be there. None of us had seen it coming, he'd been very fit and healthy, having fought with us against Matsunaga and he'd enjoyed the festivities and the wedding without any hindrance. So why now all of a sudden?

It had been different with Mother, she'd had an illness and she was old for a Mother when I was born. It wasn't just any old illness either, it was life long and, while there were certain remedies that lessened the effects, it had already shortened her life anyway. Sugimaru had the same illness, lately it hadn't been uncommon, in the time I had spent with him, to see him cough up blood. He was twenty seven, it would be a miracle if he lasted to forty.

“Tenshi” whispered a gently voice, shaking my shoulder, “Tenshi, wake up.” I opened my eyes to find Mizuki smiling at me, the Norimono open and the cold night air rushing in. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, letting her help me out. I wanted to carry on holding her hand as I stood but I refrained when I saw Masazumi, Masatsugu and Mitsunari's two younger sisters were coming over. I'd never met his two sisters, Osayu and Osan, but now I had finally see them I could guess at what Mitsunari's mother had looked like.

While Masazumi and Mitsunari both looked very, very like Masatsugu Osayu and Osan looked entirely different. They were taller than me, round faced and big eyed. Both had almost black, kindly eyes with gentle smiles to accompany this. Unlike me they were both made up, but by their hands I could see that their skin was lighter than mine as well. Realising I had been staring and that they were close by I gave them a smile and bowed to them.

“Imouto” Masazumi laughed, startling me; he was already calling me sister, “no need to bow, you're family now. Despite how Mitsunari comes across” he clapped his brother on the back almost sent him flying, “we're quite informal.” I laughed gently, hoping that my cheeks were not as red as the burning made me think. Osayu laughed, a laugh far too refined for a thirteen year,  
“Shouldn't we be inviting her in, Anni-ue.” 

I was certainly right, their home was small and cosy for five, now six, people.   
“So, can we be expecting a new addition any time soon” Masatsugu asked.  
“Chichi-ue!” Mitsunari snapped, going scarlet. Masatsugu roared with laughter,  
“Oh son, surely that's to be expected.” I laughed, both at Masatsugu's question and Mitsunari's slightly over the top reaction,  
“Not yet, I don't think” I answered. Masatsugu gave me a smile and nodded.

I wasted that evening away in our room, leaning on Mizuki and reading. As I did she stroked my hair and occasionally kissed my forehead. It was nice, pleasant and calm. I couldn't ask for anything else. I was still upset about before but to be away from the busyness of Kiyosu was comfort enough. I had time to think and personally mourn, even if I couldn't pay my respects properly I could do something. Mizuki seemed to sense my sudden discomfort and placed my book aside, pulling me into a gentle kiss as she did.

Someone burst into the room, practically tearing the door from the wall as they did and feeling as if they made the entire room shake. It surprised the both of us and we pulled away quickly, turning to see a woman about a year older than us. I stared back at her, not really sure what to do. If that had been Mitsunari it would have been fine...but it was someone else.  
“Douseiai...” She mumbled, her stare turning into a glare. Mizuki sighed, stood and attempted to walk out but the woman grabbed her arm and pushed her to the floor.

“Who are you?!” I demanded, a flood of confidence hitting me, “what give you the right to throw open the door like that?!” The woman's features did not soften but she stood up straight and only looked more terrifying,  
“I am Oka, I work for Mitsunari-sama” she answered. To most this seemed normal, acceptable but I could only return her frown. If she really did work for Mitsunari then she wouldn't just work for him, she'd work for the entire family. She was a lover. 

“So, who are you? Why would you be hiding out in his room with your lover? I glared at her,  
“I am Uda Tenshi” I snapped, “Mitsunari's wife.” It was a little odd to finally find a use for my full name and I don't think I helped the situation as much as I thought it would. Oka laughed,  
“Oh so it's his wife that's whoring off to other women? Oh you've got yourself in some deep, deep trouble Hime-sama.” She turned and left, a smile still on her face and Mizuki and I too shocked to do anything other than stare at her. 

Mizuki got up again and pulled me to my feet,  
“I think it would be wise we do not see each other for a while my lady” she sighed, “only Mitsunari-sama knows, and I trust him to keep his word.” I nodded, tears coming to my eyes. I pulled her into a hug and pressed my face into her shoulder, sobbing quietly. Mizuki wrapped her arms around my waist and shushed me,  
“Daijoubu hime-sama” she sighed, pulling away and smiling at me. 

She leant in for one last kiss but I could hear footsteps and pulled away quickly. She went to my bed and started straightening it out a little while I sat down with my book again. Mitsunari opened the door and frowned at us before shutting it.  
“You got yourselves caught?!” He snapped.  
“Please, keep your voice down” I asked, this would only criminalise us more in Oka eyes. He sighed and sat back,  
“Of all the people you could get caught by” Mitsunari held his head in his hands, “of all the people it had to be Oka.”  
“Surely she should be glad, she's your lover, isn't she?” I asked. Mitsunari sighed,  
“That may be true, but I still don't think she'll take it well, she's got looks but not a secure sanity.”

Mitsunari sent Mizuki away and then pushed me across the room and lay me down. He hugged me from behind and kissed my neck,  
“What made you think that was a good idea?” He asked, pulling away for a moment only to go back in as soon as the last word left his lips.   
“It just happened” I mumbled, he then put a hand over my mouth and pulled my kimono off my shoulder. 

I woke the next morning snuggled against Mitsunari who had curled up a little and was cuddling me to his chest.   
“Ohayo” I smiled when he blinked and opened his eyes. He smiled back,  
“Ohayo.” I pulled away and reached out, grabbing the small bag that I had carried with me and got out the box that had the other half of the necklace and the papers with all the names. I pulled out the Yang half and hung it round his neck. He smiled and turned it round, pulling me a little closer and connecting the two,  
“Even if we're just friends I'm glad I married you” he whispered, “I don't know if I could cope with you being married to an Oda man.”

There was a sudden ear piercing shriek that seemed to shake the walls. Then another and another and another. It would have brought the house down if it had not come to an abrupt stop after the fourth. Mitsunari and I were out of bed in a second, the box and papers going flying, pulling on clothes as quickly as we could. Just as I had tied my clothes round the middle Osan burst in,  
“Anni-ue, Anne-ue, come quickly!” We got up and ran with her.

When I saw I almost feel to my knees. Tears came to my eyes but they refused to fall and all I could do was stand and shake. I wanted to fall and to cry and scream but I couldn't. Mitsunari tried to place his hands on my shoulders but I shook him off and finally sank to my knees. I held myself round the middle and leant forward, my head resting on the ground. All of the Ishidas stared at me while all I did was shudder as tears stained the floor.

Mitsunari hooked his arms around my middle and pulled me to my feet,  
“I'll look after her” was all he said before picking me up off the ground and carrying me back to our room. He lay me down and wiped the tears off my face, even though they kept coming and he had to give up eventually. I turned away and hid from him under the covers. He didn't stop me or make me turn over again, just leant over and kissed me on the cheek,  
“You should sleep.”

 

“Uda” Mitsunari said, he was just outside the firmly closed doors, “Tenshi, can I come in? It's just me, I promise.”  
“You can” I mumbled, wiping my eyes as he opened the door. He sighed when he saw me and quickly closed it again, knowing that I wouldn't want to be seen. He sat in front of me, his legs crossed and gave me a little smile,  
“The woman has been sent back to her family” he smiled, “I don't think I could allow anyone to stay who'd done such a spiteful thing.”  
“Thank you” I muttered, letting him play about with my hands. 

“Could you help me with something?” I asked, giving his hands a gentle squeeze. He nodded,  
“What's the matter?” I glanced at the thin strips of paper still strewn across the floor,  
“When we got up before we sent the box flying, I was wondering if you could help me put the papers in the right order?” He nodded,  
“Of course I could, I know some of it's in older writing, it'll be guess work but we'll manage.” I smiled at him and kissed him gently on the cheek.

“Wang Ma and Lu Zhi?” He asked, “wasn't Lu Zhi the Bloody Empress of Han?” I nodded, grinning at him,  
“The book Sugimaru gave me is about them” I placed my pile of papers aside and grabbed it off the pile that were beside my side of the bed. He smiled,  
“Could I read it some time?” I nodded and smiled at him, placing it beside the significantly bigger pile of books on his side. 

We went through the list, Mitsunari having to work out the names of many of them while I just looked at them in confusion.  
“Ling Hai and Feng Wei?” He mumbled, “they were the King and Queen of the last Kingdom, though it lasted longer than they did.”  
“I wonder if Sugimaru has her book” I mumbled.  
“Forget that” he said, “you're related to all these people, you have Fujiwara and Hojo and Minamoto blood in you, why aren't you in a high position.” I shrugged,  
“I wouldn't know, we were rice farmers until a few generations ago.” 

When we'd finished going through all of the pieces of paper and had found the one with the writing from my parents on it Mitsunari found a brush and ink.

Mei Tenshi  
3 2 1578  
Ishida Mitsunari

I smiled at him but then the memory hit again and I descended into tears once again. Mitsunari pulled me close and stroked my hair, not saying anything or really knowing what to say at all. I didn't say anything at all, just hid my face in his chest and soaked his clothes with tears. He wiped away tear after tear once more and rubbed his nose against mine, keeping up his smile even though I couldn't even comprehend smiling at all.   
“Everything is going to be fine” he whispered, “I won't let anything like this happen again.”

For whom had lay before us, my tears mixing with her blood, was Mizuki. Still and silent.


	18. Shuumune

A month or so later I started to get sick, prone to a feeling of Nausea and just general discomfort. Except I never actually was ill, just felt like I was constantly. Hanabi, like Nana was to me she was the elderly woman who had looked after the Ishida children when they were young, reassured me however that it was perfectly normal.  
“Expect a little one soon” she had laughed when I had explained what was bothering me.

Gradually over time the nausea went away, only returning on the occasion, and my waist began to thicken.   
“I don't know if I'll be able to handle this” Mitsunari laughed, hugging me from behind, one arm around my waist and the other just under my breasts.  
“You won't” I replied with a smile, rolling my eyes at him. 

In the time since we had left Kiyosu Kenshin had died and Oda had proclaimed that he now ran Japan, even though he had those to the South in Kyushu, Shikoku and Chugoku to defeat and the Date and their allies to defeat to the north. No one said that but either way his statement was believable, Uesugi Kenshin had been the last great Daimyo that could oppose him. Takeda Shingen was dead, Takeda Katsuyori was a joke at the best of times and though beginning to rise to power the Date were still small. There really was no one left to challenge Oda.

Still the months passed and my waist thickened all the more. Spring, Summer and Autumn all went by without much happening. Shin sent me many things for the baby that had once belonged to Jin. Though he wasn't Jin any more, he was now Mitsunaga, honour to his father and cousin. While running as something of an errand boy between Nobunaga and Hideyoushi Sugimaru visited us when I was six months along.

“Look at you!” He laughed, “oh I can't wait to be an Uncle!”  
“Anni-ue you've been Uncle since before I was born” I reminded him, I did have a niece, Kenichi's eldest, Tsuki, who was actually a month older than me and we had been friends more than family.  
“That's different” Sugimaru sighed, rolling his eyes at me, “have you finished the second book?” I nodded,  
“I started the third last night, it's longer though so it should take me a long time.” He grinned,  
“It's a heart breaker, you'll need something to wipe your eyes.” I laughed,  
“I'll bare that in mind.” 

“Listen, Imouto” Sugimaru sighed, “I don't know how long the Mei are going to last.” I frowned at him and set down my tea,  
“What do you mean? Kenichi's not managed to annoy Oda has he?”  
“Not yet, he's considering breaking ties” Sugimaru explained, “he and Keiji aren't getting on. You know Keiji has always wanted to be in charge and if Ken breaks ties, well it's a perfect opportunity for him to pull a coup d'etat.” I sighed,  
“I never thought it would actually come to that, I knew Keiji wanted power but I didn't think he'd care that much.” 

“Are you better” I asked, wanting to change the subject; the thought of my family's descent into chaos wasn't a pleasant one even if I would remain here, safe.  
“Oh yes, yes, they've found something new that lessens the effects even more” Sugimaru smiled, stopping to eat one of the dango we'd had made, “I won't be coughing blood any more.” I smiled back,  
“That's good.” He sighed,  
“So, where's that girl, Mizuki?” I sighed and looked away, Sugimaru frowned at me and pushed my forehead.  
“A woman named Oka murdered her.” Sugimaru sighed and went back to his food and drink, ignoring me.

Sugimaru spent the night and was gone before I even got up the next morning.   
“I overheard you and your brother yesterday” Mitsunari sighed, setting breakfast down on the table in our room, we had woken up too late and had to eat here seen as everyone else was already busy.  
“I guess you heard about Kenichi and Keiji then” I mumbled, picking at my food even though I knew it was rude to do.   
“Omea, eat” he sighed, “you're not just supporting your own body any more.” I sighed and nodded, I stopped picking and started actually eating, “Yes, I heard about Kenichi and Keiji, this isn't going to play out well.”

I was suddenly over come by tears, for no reason something dared to remind me of Mizuki. I lay my head on the table and cried, half of my breakfast still left. Mitsunari sighed and abandoned his, coming over and sitting behind me. He pulled me up and made me lean against his chest, gently rubbing my stomach. He smiled a little as the baby kicked and kissed me gently on the cheek,  
“While some things may end, something new will arise from it.” I nodded and let him go back to his breakfast, doing my best not to cry. 

The months continued to fall away with little to no excitement at all, the only thing to entertain me was watching my stomach gradually grow over the weeks. I found that I could no longer lie in any position but on my back and Mitsunari began to sleep apart from me most nights, he felt as if he were getting in the way some what. I didn't mind too much. As a result I read more and more, finishing the third book much quicker than I thought I would and moving onto the fourth, which was about the Viet-Uzbek Princess's niece, that I had to ask for from Sugimaru. 

When I was eight months along Shin and the rest of the Akechi's happened to be visiting Hideyoushi and I managed to drag myself out to the same tea shop I had seen Sugimaru at.  
“Goodness me, you're huge” Shin smiled, “I don't think I remember being that big.” I laughed,  
“I think I feel bigger than I am.” She grinned,  
“You will, trust me, it's no fun feeling like you're wondering around with a boulder sticking out of you.” I noticed the girl sat beside her, she must have been fifteen or so and was moodily looking out the window.

“Ah, Uda-hime, this is my daughter” Mitsuhide smiled, “Tama, this is Uda-hime, she's your cousin.” Tama turned her head a little and acknowledged me before turning away again, the outside much more entertaining. Mitsuhide's cheeks coloured a little and he pushed his glasses up his nose,  
“Forgive her, she's not in the brightest of moods.”  
“Oh, she's growing, I was just the same” I smiled, “how old are you Tama-hime?”  
“Fifteen” she mumbled. I smiled at her but she ignored me again.

“Come on Tama, be a little kinder” Shin snapped. She just got a glare off Tama who continued to completely ignore everyone.  
“She doesn't take too kindly to me” Shin sighed, “I've done my best to become a mother to her but she doesn't want to let go.” I frowned,  
“When did you lose your mother Tama-hime?” I asked. She didn't answer but Mitsuhide did,  
“Last year, a few months before Tedorigawa.” 

Tama wiped her eyes and flinched when Shin tried to pat her shoulder to comfort her.   
“Please, leave me alone” she asked quietly. Shin ignored her and Tama snapped immediately,  
“You're not my mother! Leave me alone!” The tea shop went silent and Tama ran out while Shin looked rather startled and Mitsuhide was about to get up.  
“I'll go” I said, pushing myself up, and going out before Mitsuhide could stop me.

“Tama-hime!” I called, finding her behind a tree that was planted behind the tea house. She looked at me, her face tear stained, she looked rather surprised it was me,  
“U-uda-hime?” I smiled at her and sank down slowly, sitting beside her.   
“Why don't you like Shin?” I asked. To my surprise she leant on me after wiping her tears away, I put an arm around her and waited for an answer.

“She and my Mother didn't get along, or rather, Shin didn't like my mother” Tama explained, “Chichi-ue never saw it but I did. When Mother died the last person I wanted to become my new mother was Shin.” I sighed and gave her shoulders another squeeze,  
“It's not easy losing your Mother, I know, and it's not easy accepting someone like that” I sighed, “but, I think you just have to pretend, for you Dad.” Tama frowned at me and I continued,  
“He's an old man and he does want to make you and your brother happy, but he's also got to look after Mitsunaga as well.” Tama sighed but nodded,  
“I'll try, for Chichi-ue.”

“Promise me you'll never leave your child” she asked when she had helped me stand up. I was rather surprised by this and she repeated it again.  
“Why would I leave them?” I replied. She shook her head,  
“I mean, don't die, until they're as old and crooked as Chichi-ue is.” I laughed,  
“There's a lot of life left in me yet.”

Tama did try, she still wasn't very good at it, but she had noticed how sad Mitsuhide would look whenever she did something and would stop and apologise or just correct her ways.   
“Thank you” Mitsuhide sighed as they were about to leave, he took my hands and smiled at me, “I think things may be a little easier now.” I laughed and nodded,  
“I hope they are.”  
“Good luck, I hope all goes well with the baby” Mitsuhide added before being dragged off by Shin.

During the final month I asked that Mitsunari at least sleep in the same room as me, even if not the same bed. I was paranoid that I would wake at four in the morning, contractions started and no one there to help me or get anyone who could. He agreed and would sleep on a separate bed beside me, he was a light sleeper so easily woken if something happened.

When we saw Hitoko and Takatora as the year began to draw to a close once again was when everything seemed to set in motion. Early in the morning everything seemed to ache but I ignored it and carried on with my day. Nothing was actually happening until the evening anyway. 

Hitoko couldn't help but express her jealousy when she saw how big I was,  
“Lucky, lucky you” she sighed as she ate, “we've been trying for so long, and nothing.”   
“Oh it's not as enjoyable as they make it sound” I laughed, “I suppose the end result will be rewarding.” Hitoko nodded,  
“I'm sure it will be.”

I spent much of the evening leaning on Mitsunari, now constantly plagued by pains. There was a point where he snapped because of my refusal to acknowledge them and he picked me up, stumbling about the hallways with me in his arms and laying me down on my bed.   
“I'm going to get someone who knows what they're doing, don't try and leave. Please.” He kissed me gently before disappearing.  
“To think you thought such a thing of me, I can hardly move” I sighed.

He was right to do so and by the early hours of the next morning I had a little baby boy in my arms. They hadn't let Mitsunari back in, which had irritated him but to see the great big smile on his face was enough for me.   
“Hello Shuumune” he grinned, ticking the end of Shuumune's nose. I smiled and put my hand on the back of his head, pulling him closer so his forehead rested on mine. He laughed and kissed me gently,  
“This is it” he smiled, “this is where it all begins.”


	19. To Kiyosu and Back

New year called again and we accompanied Hideyoushi to Kiyosu once more. I was glad it didn't take long to get to, a day was okay, any longer and it would have been a little difficult. We didn't actually have enough money to employ a wet nurse so I had to do it myself, which did suit me fine but did not suit society's rules and regulations. There was no Norimono this time, just an open wagon pulled by oxen, while still a little cramped at least we had one another to talk to this time. 

One disadvantage to this was that I was incredibly sleepy almost all the time, even though I was supposed to be awake much more than I used to. I fell asleep on Mitsunari's shoulder multiple times and would be jarred awake by a rock under the wheel a minute later.  
“Will your family be joining us at Kiyosu?” Masatsugu asked, giving me a sympathetic smile – I had once again just been given a rude awakening.  
“I would imagine so, though Sugimaru has cut off contact so I'm not all too sure” I answered, covering my mouth and looking down as I yawned. Mitsunari rubbed my back gently and gave me a smile when I looked up, I couldn't help but smile back.

“Have you heard?” Masazumi started, “about the Uesugi?” I frowned and shook my head,  
“They're in a state of civil war at the moment, well, it looks as if it's almost over” Masazumi explained. I glanced at Mitsunari and he sighed, shaking his head.  
“Are you okay Anne-ue?” Osan asked, looking rather confused. I smiled at her,  
“It's nothing” I turned to Masatsugu, “do you know if the Akechi family will be there?”  
“Are you worried about something?” Osayu asked.  
“Just answer” Mitsunari sighed, “they have a habit of doing this.” So, I explained to them about Naoe, how we had been friends since we were young, making sure to miss out a couple of details I did not want to reveal to everyone, even Mitsunari.   
“He'll be fine” Mitsunari reassured me, I seemed to have stunned his younger sisters into silence, “if he dies, then we're all as good as dead.”

I was glad when we arrived at Kiyosu, the weather was threatening to become harsh and I didn't want Shuumune to have to be out in the cold. The festivities were much the same, once Shuumune was in bed I had good reason to enjoy them properly. Oda got us all to dance again but that was about as far as I could go.  
“Retiring early?” Mitsuhide asked when he happened to pass Mitsunari and I, Mitsunari practically having to carry me back to our room. I nodded and mumbled,  
“Oyasumi, Oji-ue” doing my best not to yawn. He smiled,  
“Oyasumi, Uda-hime.”

When Mitsunari lay me down something seemed to hit me and I suddenly felt like crying. He frowned at me and touched my cheek gently,  
“What's the matter?” I shook my head and moved away from him,  
“It's nothing.” He sighed and sat down beside me, shaking his head,  
“You're upset about something, come on, tell me.” I glared at him,  
“I told you it's nothing.”  
“And who moves away like that when it's nothing?” He retorted. I sighed, he'd got me there.

Without my realising a tear slipped down my cheek and he wiped it away without hesitation.   
“It's Mizuki, isn't it?” He asked. I simply nodded and tried to turn away only for him to catch my shoulder and make me lie on my back again.  
“Tell me everything, every little detail about her” he practically instructed. I stared at him but he glared at me until I started talking.

I told him how she had been so beautiful, her short black hair so uncommon and her very dark brown eyes dazzling. How, even though she was taller, she never seemed too tall and her skinny waist had made her easy to embrace. I told him about how soft she spoke, never snapping and using any kind of tone that may come across as threatening. How she showed her concern by tipping her head so slightly to the side, showing all the sympathy someone could give thrice over. She had been everything to me, my comfort, my sanctuary and she had been taken away from me...for nothing...we had done nothing.

Mitsunari didn't say anything when I had done telling him everything and I noticed that the few candles in the room had started to burn low. I had been crying and explaining for longer than I realised and I could hear quiet noises. Shuumune was awake and wanted feeding. I rubbed my eyes quickly and got up.   
“How late do you make it?” I asked, sat up on our bed while Shuumune fed.   
“I don't know, but I can't hear anything, so I think the festivities are over until tomorrow” Mitsunari answered, averting his eyes and picking up a book he'd been given recently.   
“What's that?” I asked.  
“Life and Memoires of Emperor Wen of Cao Wei” Mitsunari answered.  
“I never knew you were interested in history” I remarked.  
“It's for the politics” Mitsunari answered, going a little red, he didn't like admitting he was interested in something for his own amusement. 

The three of us slept in the same bed that night, Shuumune between the two of us while we had an arm each over him as some kind of protection, yet still holding onto one another. We woke just before dawn and went out with everyone else in the harsh morning cold, huddled together to watch the sun rise. It dawned a new year for us all, give us a chance to start anew and forget all that had happened the year before – the death and the mistakes and the loses we needn't have suffered. All was washed away as the sun rose.

We then made our way to the local shrine, and though it may have been a great deal larger than the shrine in the grounds of Kiyosu but it was much more packed and cramped than Kiyosu's would ever be. Eventually crowds cleared and we gave in our charms and amulets from the old year and bought new ones, as well as O-mikuji which were fortunes.  
大吉出産  
“Daikichi Shussan?” Mitsunari asked, looking over my shoulder, “you're not pregnant again are you?”  
“Oh just open yours” I replied, “I wouldn't know yet and it's been too long.”  
“Alright, alright, calm down” Mitsunari sighed as he unrolled his.  
小凶争事  
“Shou-kyo arasoigoto” Mitsunari sighed, “it's the same as last year, arguments all round.” I sighed and lead him by the hand so he could tie it to the pine tree as that would (hopefully) stop it coming true. 

“It's a shame your family did not attend, Uda-hime” Hideyoushi remarked as we walked back to Kiyosu, “I suppose it may not be proper for them, as your Father's meinichi is approaching.” I nodded,  
“That must be true, however it does irk me that they have cut off contact with me, the last time I saw any of them was when I was only a few months along.”  
“Well” Hideyoushi sighed, “I suppose I could give Mitsunari something of a holiday so you can visit them.” I stared in surprise and Hideyoushi continued,  
“It couldn't be long, tensions are beginning to rise again, but I suppose a week or so will do no harm.”

Hideyoushi called Mitsunari over and explained the suggestion to him, he was very much apprehensive.   
“But, Hideyoushi-sama, if tensions are rising surely you'd need me to stay? It's quite unpredictable.”  
“And you expect me to let your wife go alone?” Hideyoushi replied. Mitsunari didn't answer, he just went a funny shade of pink and Hideyoushi looked like he was about to slap him,  
“Anata wa ikou, wakarimasu?”  
“Wakarimasu, Hideyoushi-sama” Mitsunari replied, doing his best not to to mumble, still the funny looking shade of pink. 

“Did you ask?” Mitsunari asked when Hideyoushi had gone on ahead to discuss something with Oda.  
“No, Hideyoushi suggested it himself” I answered, “all I said was that they cut off contact, if anything that's a reason not to go.” I took his hand, hiding it with our sleeves, he gave me a frown and I quickly let go, going a much darker shade of pink than he had.  
“Well, Hideyoushi has decided that we will go, so we will go” Mitsunari sighed, he didn't look very pleased – who knew someone could be this grumpy, especially during new year.

We drank and ate well in honour of the new year once again that evening and had dancers preforming this time. As more and more time passed many disappeared to bed, however I stayed. I'd asked a maid to keep an eye on Shuumune, asking she come and get me, I'd simply return after and sit with Mitsunari to just watch the dancers. While many of the other men had women being paid to be fawning over them Mitsunari ignored and had me sit on his lap so he could do as he pleased. He had little trust in these women at the minute, it was like the situation he had met Oka in and as of what happened he'd decided to give it some time. Though, even if you asked me, many found it to be a little long.

Still, he seemed happy enough, kissing and touching me rather than a girl he'd never spoken to. However, as usual, Mitsunari was in more of a cuddly mood having drunk so much. His touch was gentle and kisses infrequent, he just couldn't be bothered most of the time, and to be fair neither could I. He gave in eventually and the two of us disappeared to our own room.

“Hey, shh, shh” I hummed when Shuumune started whimpering, I'd got back a little too late, having to lead Mitsunari as he could only stumble about the corridors. I just pulled off my kimono, knowing that I'd be too lazy to get back into it anyway. I sat, more alert again as I feed Shuumune,  
“Keep those off” Mitsunari said as he passed me, leaning down kissing my hair before stumbling to bed,  
“You're Father is unbelievable, do you know that?” I asked Shuumune as he'd decided he'd had enough.

“Hey” Mitsunari said as he wrapped his arms around my waist, he was also stark naked and clearly that alcohol had had another effect on him.  
“Mitsunari stop it” I mumbled, turning over and snuggling my head into his chest, “I don't want to, I'm tired.”  
“Aww” he whined but he didn't persist. He kissed my hair gently and moved his arms up so they were in a more comfortable position. He insisted on some little kisses before we fell asleep, utterly exhausted.


	20. Hanbei

In the end we did not go and visit my family, however much I had wished that we would. However I did my best to re-establish connections with Sugimaru and after some work he finally replied. However I once again had to cut it off temporarily in the sixth month for a siege. 

The point of siege was Miki castle, it was a small castle in Harima, nothing much to bother about but with the Mouri clan in front of the army and rebels behind if the castle wasn't taken then it would mean the destruction of the army in no time. The Mouri were not people you messed with, you read their writings, you wondered at their amazing tactics but you did not, in any way, mess with the Mouri. Originally it had just been the Akamatsu, Bessho and Kodera and they had submitted. It was expected that there would be no blood shed over this and this was why we had to return so quickly. One of the Bessho had ignited a rebellion within his own clan and then had the Kodera join in as well. His final move had to been to create a coalition with the Mouri and he had succeded in this and caused a huge relapse.

"The castle's very pretty, it's a shame to try and destroy it" I sighed, looking out at the gleaming white castle.  
"I don't think Hashiba-dono wants to destroy it, but these things must happen" Mitsunari sighed, "you're not intending to fight are you?"  
"Are you serious? Of course I am" I replied, quite surprised.  
"Surely not! You can't, I mean, erm..." Mitsunari stuttered, going bright red. I laughed,  
"Oh come on now, how do you expect me to defend home without any practice?"  
"Well, I just don't want Shuumune to be completely parentless" he replied, still a little.  
"Really? You think you'll die in this?" I asked, a eyebrow raised, "your the brains, I'm the brawn. Everything will be fine." He sighed and rubbed his forehead,  
"If you say so."

It was true I had little practice fighting and I needed it. Currently we could easily rely on Masazumi and Masatsugu but if we were ever given our own fief then I'd have to defend it if it was attacked and he wasn't there. Also, if I knew to fight, I could teach Shuumune before he potentially entered into a Shudo. It's not that I had anything against Shudo, I knew plenty of people who had been in healthy ones, two of my brothers included in that. What I was worried about was the possibility of the Nenja being well...in the wrong. That was what happened to Mitsunari and I had no intention of letting my son get into the same situation.

The battle field we looked over was a mess. Bits were on fire. Bodies were strewn every where. The very ground had turned red with blood and still it would continue. I felt a gentle hand on my waist,  
"Are you sure, Uta?" Mitsunari asked quietly. I nodded and, once he'd made sure Hanbei and Hideyoushi were engulfed in their conversation, he kissed me softly. His lips were barely even pressed on mine, ready to pull away any second, but they were warm so I lingered, holding his free hand, messing and playing with his fingers. I pulled away slowly and rested my head against his shoulder,  
"How are you feeling?" He smiled and ran a gentle finger down my cheek,  
"Your kisses make everything much better, I feel more alive than ever."  
"You better be telling the truth, I care about you, you know" I sighed.  
"I know, I know and I promise I'm not lying to you. Those days are over" Mitsunari reassured me, smiling.

The first few days of fighting were awful and every night, as by demand I was only to fight in the day, I came back exhausted.  
"You really aught not to be fighting" Mitsunari sighed, "you're tiring yourself out far too much." I shrugged as he pulled me onto his lap and started playing with my hair. I sighed and leant back a little so my head rested on his shoulder and I pretended to fall asleep. I must have actually fallen asleep because the next morning I woke up on a futon in a tent beside Shuumune. It was clearly late and they'd left me to sleep.

"Ohaiyo" Mitsunari smiled when he lifted up the entrance to the tent.  
"Close it, close it" I said quickly, "honestly, it's as if you're blind."  
"Oh shush, it's not like anyone cares" Mitsunari replied, sitting beside me. I noticed then that he was in all armour, aside from tekko for his hands and helmet.  
"Mitsunari what's going on?" I asked, frowning a little. He sighed a little,  
"Hideyoushi needs an extra commander so..." he trailed off, "and you're staying here."  
"What?! No" I snapped, glaring at him.  
"Uda listen to me. I know you want to fight, but things have changed since then. You're a mother now and you're much more useful to Shuumune than I would be so please, just stay."  
"When's your next attack then?" I asked, defeated.  
"Midday, probably in about an hour or so" he answered.

The three months we spent there were hell. No longer allowed to fight I spent my days wandering about the camp, lonely...but that was only the first month. The second two become a hideous ordeal with plenty of tears. At first it was good. On one particular day with Mitsunari already gone I, as usual, got up to go about daily business. First of all was to feed Shuumune of course and, afterwards, I sat with him for a little, eating my own breakfast. He played about with the toys Hideyoushi himself had given him with joy. Yet once bored he crawled over to me and put both hands on my leg and hauled himself up onto wobbly feet. He took a couple of unsteady steps before tumbling again, looking quite shocked by the impact of the floor. However I picked him up and cuddled him tightly,  
"Who's my clever little boy" I laughed, kissing him on the cheek.

I hoped that Mitsunari would be back early that night, perhaps the fighting would lay off a little. No such luck. For three days in a row there was no sign of him. Nothing. Not one thing. I spent those days pacing back and forth after restless nights with lack of sleep. In the middle of one night Shuumune came looking specifically for Mitsunari and I ended up in tears. Although I frequently thought to myself "now where is that idiot" I could not deny how scared I was. Yes, he was rude. Yes he could be mean. Yes, you could put a lot of flaws to him but that really did not stop me worrying about him. Forget loving him, I had no interest of losing one of my best friends of 12 years. Though yes, love too.

On the third day, far too anxious to be dealing with it any more, I personally went and asked Hideyoushi.  
"Ah...yes, I've been trying to avoid telling you" he sighed, "come this way." I followed Hideyoushi apprehensively. This could only be bad news, to avoid telling me. I was taken to a small, make shift tent and Hideyoushi warned me,  
"He's been out cold since this morning, don't expect any communication." He then left me there. I went in, feeling just as anxious as I had before hand, if not more.

"Oh..." was about as far as I got before I rushed to his side and knelt by him. He was very pale, much, much paler than usual. I gently touched his cheek, only to find it almost too hot to touch.  
"Mitsunari..." I whispered, gently cupping his burning cheek. I sighed and sat beside him, tracing the scar now exposed. I leant down and traced it with single kisses,  
"Shuumune walked a couple of days ago" I smiled, "and he asked for you all night last night." I rubbed my eyes and placed a soft kiss on his lips,  
"Stay alive, please" I mumbled.

For a further week Hideyoushi withheld any information from me and it was filled with much pacing. He had barred me from seeing Mitsunari at all. I took to trying to get Shuumune to take more steps, which didn't go well at first.  
"Come on, come to Mama" I smiled, helping him stand up and slowly taking away my hands. He just sat down again and ignored me.  
"Never mind" I sighed. Practice and persistence don't always work I guess.

Come one morning I had gotten up and fed Shuumune and now I sat with him on my lap.  
"Uda." I looked up and couldn't believe my eyes for a second.  
"M-Mitsunari?" I stuttered. Shuumune turned at the voice as well and also stared, his inquisitive little eyes in a state of shock.  
"Papa?" He asked, smiling at Mitsunari broadly. Mitsunari grinned and was about to come over but I stopped him. Shuumune got off my lap and then tugged himself up on the sleeve of my kimono. Slowly and surely he started waddling towards Mitsunari. He stopped frequently, wobbling a little before gaining his balance again and continuing. His final wobble ended in a fall but it didn't matter as Mitsunari whisked him off the floor. He giggled and hugged his Dad's chin, rubbing his nose against his cheek. Mitsunari laughed as well and kissed Shuumune on the tip of his nose.

Come the final month things actually did start to look up, Miki had finally begun to fall but, sadly, so had one of the great minds.  
“Uda-hime! Oh, never mind” Hideyoushi started, opening the tent and running out immediately. Mitsunari gave me a little smile,  
“I'll go sort it out, you know for someone who has more concubines than anyone can count between them it sure is odd that he's bothered by you feeding Shuumune.”  
“I heard that” Hideyoushi warned him. I smiled back and laughed a little as Mitsunari's eyes went a bit wide and he gave a rather audible gulp,  
“Good luck.”

The first thing I heard was Hideyoushi hitting Mitsunari on the back of the head. To be fair as far as Hideyoushi was concerned this was perfectly acceptable. Mainly because if Nene overheard Hideyoushi would currently being chased around the camp and with a crazy lady yelling at him; not quite the image that befitted a samurai.  
“Anyway” Hideyoushi sighed, “I needed to talk to Uda about Hanbei. His illness seems to have caught up with him and he's returning home for the last time. The problem is that his son, Kichisuke, is only 6 years old and this is going to take a hard toll on Andou-hime.”  
I came out while they were talking, greeted by a very cold gust of wind which was not pleasant in the slightest.

“What was the matter Hideyoushi-sama” I asked, smiling at him. He went a bit red,  
“Well, straight to the point then. Perhaps you over heard, about Hanbei?”  
“I did indeed, I'd be happy to go. I can't quite imagine the pain that is going to befall Andou-hime, and I hope I never shall” I grabbed Mitsunari's hand and squeezed gently, “it may well teach me something.” Hideyoushi gave a gentle smile,  
“Then you'll be leaving in three days time.”

It always seemed when approaching something that you didn't want to partake in time seemed to go especially quick.  
“Uda you don't have to do this, you really don't have to” Mitsunari warned me the night before, “maybe it's the best thing, if we've started trying again maybe you shouldn't put yourself under too much stress.” I smiled at him gently,  
“I'm glad you're so considerate, truly I am, but it'd be cruel to Andou-hime.”  
“Just...just take into account it may be cruel to yourself” he sighed, “whether this is all political or not I do still care about you, Hikari.”  
“Oh you're too kind” I smiled, kissing him lightly, “Sakichi.”

Come next morning we were all set to go by dawn. While Hanbei lay in a closed carriage I followed behind on a horse, Shuumune strapped to my chest. Neither of us were particularly comfortable but we had one of Hideyoushi's now unneeded commanders accompanying us so if we needed to remain slightly behind it would not be as if we were left behind in the wild on our own. A few hours before we set off Mitsunari pulled me aside.  
“Here” Mitsunari sighed, handing me the Art of War, “keep yourself occupied.” I smiled and put it in the little bag swung over my shoulder.  
“Thank you” I smiled, I then placed my hands on his, “you don't need to worry about us, we'll be fine.”  
“Please, just keep yourself clean and Shuumune free from this, I know you're going to help but I have no intention of losing my wife and son because of it. Stay safe on the roads as well, the road you're taking is renowned for bandits.”  
“We do have someone protecting us and I'm not the most useless now am I” I smiled.  
“Just be careful” he sighed.

After breakfast we had an hour before we left and Mitsunari and I took that time to escape from the camp for a little and sit out on one of the large fields just behind it. We sat for the hour, talking as we normally would and getting Shuumune to walk, laughing and praising as he only got better. I could see it though, just how worried Mitsunari was. He didn't want us to go and had frequently tried to protest against it, both to Hideyoushi and myself. Even if he wasn't particularly loving of me, most of it still very much put on, he adored Shuumune. If anything were to happen to him...I'd be sure that Mitsunari would be soon to follow him. I guess I had a lack of understanding at first. Mitsunari was the second son so it wasn't like he was going to inherit the headship of the Ishida Clan. That had been something of a relief, Shuumune wasn't just an heir for him he really loved his son with a definite sense of pride about it.

It took only three days to get to Hanbei's home and it was certainly heart breaking from the very start. Hanbei had always looked young. He was always cheery and looked after himself quite well but seeing him forcing himself to walk, his clothes hanging off him and his eyes sunken back snapped my heart in two. He had been the one who defended Mitsunari and I after the Azai had been completely decimated. This very man had cooled the rage of Oda Nobunaga and now he was dying. We were all doomed without him.

His demise was slow and pain filled. Coughing blood and refusing food was what finally spelled the end for the great strategist. To my surprise he called not his friends nor family to him but me. He could hardly move, only managing to turn his head side to side a very slow rate.  
“Is it pitiful, to see me like this?” He asked, with his eyes were sunken back, the huge rings under his eyes became prominent.  
“Of course not, unless you wish to be pitied” I answered.  
“I wish not” he answered, his voice a mere, weak croak, “if this is how I shall die then so be it.”  
“Tell me, did you ever do as I told you to?” He asked, a little smile on his face, “to memorise The Art of War?”  
“I did” I answered, yet I didn't want to recite it to him. I had no faith that I could remember every word and that I would some how disappoint the dying man which felt like a huge insult.  
“I will not ask you to recite it” he sighed, “I fear I'll make a fool of myself correcting you, every translation is different, in what place am I to correct what you have learnt.”

“Then, might I ask, what have you called me for?” I replied, a little confused as I really could not think of any other reason.  
“I want you to warn Mitsunari about something” he answered.  
I stared blankly. What could he want to warn Mitsunari of? What could Mitsunari possibly do that would need a warning? Had my fmaily relations put him in some kind of danger like Mitsuhide had warned me of?  
“You have quite the perplexed face there Uda-hime” Hanbei laughed, his laugh distant yet full of effort, “I'm afraid the warning is quite unpleasant.”  
“Please, tell me what it is, I'm as confused as I look” I replied.  
“Do not let him go against Tokugawa Ieyasu. It will get you all killed” Hanbei answered. I stared blankly once again, my mind a confusion of thoughts.

What was this warning for? Ieyasu was a Daimyo who owned plenty of land but had no fear in getting involved in conflict while Mitsunari did his best to keep out of it. Mitsunari was a very low politician and, as far as everyone was concerned, Ieyasu was a powerful warlord. Why would the two even need to clash over anything?  
“Why?” I asked. Hanbei smiled again,  
“Oda will not last. Hashiba will not last. Tokugawa will last and the Ishida will be killed off unless your husband takes heed of this warning. Do not let him cross Tokugawa Ieyasu.” So, Hanbei was predicting our deaths. Yet I left this aside and asked,  
“Then, when shall I give him this warning.”  
“Continuously, keep reminding him, so he will not forget. Make him know that he will die, you shall die, your children will die if he dares cross Tanuki. Warn him again and again or he will kill you all.”


	21. Reunited

Hanbei finally met his end quite peacefully, with his wife and Kanbei beside him, well he couldn't have been happier. All of us, however terrible it may sound, were actually some what glad he was gone. This wasn't in spite or anything like that, more than we were glad he was out of his incurable misery. The end had come in the early hours of the morning, Andou-hime and Kanbei had stayed by his side all night, Kanbei recording everything that was said so that he might put it in the records he intended to write. He thought that one day he might become a some what less vandalised Sima Qian, that he would become Japan's very own Grand Historian. What a better chapter end than the death of an excellent and much loved strategist?

That morning breakfast was a private thing, however Kanbei and Andou-hime came to my room, I had invited them to so neither had to be alone.  
“How was the battle fairing then?” Andou-hime asked, with a forced smiled.  
“Well as far as I remember, however it has been some time, any change Kanbei-sama?” I replied.  
“Little, we're only doing better, the castle shall fall soon enough” Kanbei nodded before taking a sip of his tea, “say, Uda-hime, you don't happen to have any ink do you? I appear to have run out.”  
“Excuse me a second, I believe I do” I smiled, getting up and going to look.

“To think such a girl married Ishida Mitsunari” Andou-hime hissed at Kanbei, hoping that I couldn't hear.  
“I know my Lady, such a bazaar choice, I suppose they only did it less she end up a spinster” Kanbei agreed.  
“That's not what I meant, he's so disagreeable, he's awful. I'm sure their child is a product of ra-” Andou-hime was interrupted by me dropping the ink pot. No, I had not dropped it, I had crushed it and there was now ink dripping down my fingers and a tiny bit of glass buried in my finger.  
“Is everything alright?” Kanbei called.  
“It's fine, I just dropped an ink bottle! I have more, no worries” I called back, making sure not to lose my temper and let it show. I grabbed another of the bottles with the other hand and going back in. I smiled sweetly to cover my anger and handed the pot to Kanbei before once again excusing myself.

My blood was boiling. Yes I knew my marriage was almost entirely political and that the little love that was in it all really went to Shuumune. Yet, for them to dare to accuse him of such a thing.  
“My Lady are you alright?” Asked a voice. I jumped and turned to look at a man who had just spoken to me. He was big and rough looking, with a gruff voice and a big scar across his face.  
“I...I'm alright, thank you” I replied, feeling very small.  
“Why, you were shaking, that's hardly alright” he replied, quite surprised.  
“Ah...that...that would be anger” I sighed, “a member of my family has just been...insulted, forgive me.”  
“You are not the one that needs forgiving my Lady” he replied, “please, come with me, your hand is bleeding.”

“Thank you” I smiled as he wrapped my hand up.  
“Ah, no matter my Lady, no matter” he smiled back.

“Forgive me, I haven't asked your name” I realised as he finally decided that my hand was indeed fine. It had turned out there wasn't just one bit of glass in it.  
“My name...well that's hardly important, is it?” He replied, going a bit pink.  
“It is important” I insisted. He sighed,  
“Alright then” he then smiled a little, “I'm Shima Sakon.”

Just as I was making a note of the man's name a few hours later Kanbei knocked on my door.  
“Come in” I called, quickly hiding the bit of paper.  
“Uda-hime, is your hand alright?” He asked as he turned to shut the door.  
“Oh, that, it's fine, nothing to worry about” I answered with a smile, really hoping he couldn't tell it was forced, “is something the matter.”  
“Nothing is particularly the matter, though this did come for you. I think it might be from your husband” Kanbei answered, handing over the letter.  
“Thank you” I smiled, really forced this time. Kanbei had practically spat the word husband. Knowing better of it I waited until he was gone to open the letter.

This is probably going to sound terrible because all I write is official letters. I'm sure you can hear me sighing.  
Miki has fallen. We have won. I have had to fight but now I can go home again.  
I trust Hanbei has passed away, or is at least close to doing so. Kanbei taking his leave made me realise that. It's a shame to see such a excellent mind go so early, he had so much more left to offer to the world and of course we should be forever grateful to him. We are very lucky to have had our chances to talk to him for the fleeting moments we did.  
Enough of formalities (if one can call them such.) How are the two of you? I hope you're in good health. I've managed to get another scar down my side but it's nothing to worry about, it's hardly noticeable. I hope that Shuumune is eating well, seen as you had begun to put him on proper food. I hope he wasn't as fussy as I was. Oh and I checked, I can still put my legs behind my head. It hurt though so I won't do it again.  
It's lonely without you two.  
Jibu-no-shou  
Mitsunari

I smiled a little and Shuumune crawled over and tugged on the bit of paper, curious to see what it was.  
“Oh, careful” I laughed, prying his little fingers off it before he could rip it, “that's from Papa.” He looked at me in confusion,  
“Papa?” He looked around and then his lip started to tremble and I quickly picked him up and hugged him. I gently rocked him and sang until he stopped crying.  
“I miss him too” I mumbled when he had calmed down, he'd decided to stay on my shoulder, “we'll see him soon.”

I was...almost right about soon. Hideyoushi certainly did want everyone to rest after the seige and didn't transfer Mitsunari back to Osaka but instead sent him straight home. Hideyoushi was a kind man – he could be a bit insane sometimes but his intentions were good enough. Anyway, the only problem that came up was that while Shuumune and I were home in a day it was a whole week before Mitsunari joined us. This wasn't because it took long to travel, why it took 4 days, it was just there was a lot of...tidying up to do. Supplies to be collected up, deals to be made...heads to be counted.

“Imouto?” Asked a voice, “imouto?!” I jumped and turned my head to find Masazumi giving me a funny look, something between confusion and concern.  
“Are you alright?” She asked, drawing away and continuing to stitch.  
“I'm fine” I sighed, “just in a world of my own.” I lay down and placed my arms over my head, covering my eyes. It was so, so cold. We had only gone outside because the fires were too warm, because by some fluke of nature they had managed to over do it even in the winter months.  
Shuumune climbed onto my stomach and kept tugging at my sleeve.

“What's wrong?” I yawned. I hadn't been able to sleep last night, or much at all really. I hated being alone. He pointed in the direction of the road and I finally pushed myself up a bit to look.  
“Is that...” I mumbled.  
“I think it is” Masazumi grinned. I smiled brightly and got up, picking Shuumune up,  
“You wanna go see Papa?” He giggled and I quickly started walking down the road.  
I was walking quite quickly, in fact the both of us were almost running. No words were spoken when we finally met again. There were just gentle kisses and tight hugs and Shuumune giggling.  
Finally we were reunited once again.


	22. The Mei's Dispute

Over the next two years nothing much happened, we stayed in our home in Nagahama, we made our annual trips to Kiyosu for New Years. Life became almost normal, there were small blips but we lived as the everyday people did. At the start of the year following Miki Castle's siege I found myself to be pregnant again and, after it had passed, found that two was incredibly hard to handle and was very thankful Shuumune did not need every little thing from me. We went to Kiyosu three months after, new years celebrations in full swing.  
That year I meant quite the interesting character, one was a boy no more than 16 who was certainly a very charismatic and sweet boy.   
“Hajimemashita! Watashi wa Mori Ranmaru desu.” I smiled at him,  
“Hajimemashita, Uda desu.” He smiled back as he stood from his bow, as did I.  
“Yoroshiku Onegaishimasu!”  
“Kochirakoso” I replied. 

“He's very energetic” Mitsuhide smiled, “he'll be a great man, he's bursting with talent.” I smiled and watched the boy, who was talking with the now sixteen year old Tama and making her laugh like crazy. Yes, he did seem the type who was just waiting to show the world what he could do.  
“I do wish he and Tama could have married, they've been close friends for almost as long as you and Mitsunari have” Mitsuhide sighed, I could practically hear his 55 year old bones creaking, “but politics are more important than friendship I suppose.” I nodded,  
“I suppose I was one of the lucky ones.”

“Hime-sama” whispered a voice, placing a letter beside my plate of soba, “it is important.” They disappeared without another word and Mitsuhide glanced at me,  
“Importance is more prevalent than table manners, and Oda has none anyway.” I opened it quickly and read it as quickly as I could,

Imouto-chan  
Kenichi has joined our Father.  
This has presented a predicament, his son is too young to take over the headship and Saichiro has refused the position. Neither is Nobusuke particularly interested in taking the post as he is assured that he's going to be moved soon to become a Lord of a small city in the North under his father in law. It is between Sugimaru and I.  
All I'm asking is that you come and visit us for a while, I'd like to meet my nephews and it is neigh on Father's death anniversary of four years, it is only right. Kenichi must also be buried as well.  
Mei Keiji  
I quickly folded it when I had done reading and continued as if nothing had happened, keeping back the tears. Oh Kenichi what happened...?

“Mitsunari” I said to get his attention, finally Oda had given up on the dancing (much to Mitsuhide's relief and Shin's disappointment) and we were sat in circles, drinking. I pulled the letter out from my sleeve and handed it to him. He glared at it and then sighed,  
“We'll have to talk to Oda and Hideyoushi, I have a feeling that your brother was murdered.”   
“What makes you think that?” I asked, frowning at him.  
“His death was abrupt, he's never suffered from the illness that has plagued Sugimaru, nor has Keiji stated any course of death whatsoever.”

“Wait” I mumbled when Mitsunari got up to go and talk to Oda and Hideyoushi, “even though he might have done it I don't want Keiji to be held responsible.” Mitsunari frowned but sat back down,  
“You think he did it?”   
“I'm sure of it” I sighed, “he always wanted to be in charge, even though he was one of the youngest. He thinks that he's a better leader than Kenichi could ever be.” Mitsunari sighed,  
“Perhaps it's time we did pay that overdue visit.”

After New Year we got our leave and made our way to my old family home, still standing but no longer belonging to Azai, but to Oda.   
“It'll be strange going back after all these years” I sighed as I put away the books that Sugimaru had given me, wondering if there were any more to add. Mitsunari didn't say anything, he was in quite the awful mood. He'd gotten into a fight with Katou Kiyomasa and Fukushima Masanori the day before, he still had a black eye. They'd been arguing over the silliest of little things, though their intentions had been friendly at first. The two had asked if he might like to go hunting with them and he'd said he wasn't interested and that he had work to do, they must have passed this off as rude from the way he said it and it unfolded into a rather biased fist fight. Hideyoushi had let it go, Katou was family so he turned a blind eye, much to Mitsunari's annoyance.

At the gates we were met by Akiko, Saichiro's eldest, and Tsuki, Kenichi's eldest. They were still clad completely in black, they must have waited for us when they heard we were visiting.   
“You've grown” I smiled as I spoke to them, it was a solomn smile but it didn't take from my statement. Tsuki, who was the same age as me, must also have been visiting, as far as I knew she had been married to someone from the south and Akiko, who was seventeen and set to be married soon, was hardly going to be calling this place home any time soon. Last time I had seen them was four years ago.

Everything was very dark and quite frankly depressing within the walls. Kenichi's wife, Gen'ni-hime, said nothing to anyone. I knew it well that they had hated one another but it seemed to have shocked her into silence, so they must have become friendly with each other by now. There was nothing to see of Saichiro and his wife, Oto-hime, as they were hidden away. Oto was having difficulties with delivering her baby and things only seemed to be getting worse. Nobusuke and his wife seemed to be trying to keep things bright and happy but their efforts were eventually crushed, after only a day they were called to the North. Sugimaru was quieter than usual and had abandoned both Akizuki and his wife for the time being, though he did pay some attention to his eldest son.

Keiji however...Keiji was almost frightening. While Nobusuke and Date-hime had done their best, it was evident that they were upset. Keiji was not in slightest upset, even his wife, the beautiful and petite Mae-hime, could calm him like she usually could.  
“I think your suspicions were confirmed” Mitsunari sighed, glaring at Keiji from afar as he rode around the grounds with his friends.  
“It fails to surprise me” I replied.

Only three days after we arrived we lost yet another innocent soul. Oto passed away from the complications, however the baby boy, Kinsomaru, did live – it was much the same position I had been put in from birth. Yet Saichiro, though hurt and destroyed, showed a great deal of care to his son and kept his usual character up. Akiko and Hitomi, his two daughters, did the same. However Saichiro once again failed to be persuaded to take the headship.

“You know what this means, don't you?” Sugimaru asked me as he shuffled through his books and I helped him organise them, “now Saichiro has refused again it's between Keiji and I. Saichiro only refused the first time because his son hadn't been born yet.”  
“Surely it should just go to Keiji, as Nobusuke has taken to living in the North rather than here” I asked.  
“And you think I'd let that oaf run the Mei, I think not” Sugimaru replied.  
“Well? How are you going to do? We can't have any more people dying, Anni-ue and Oto-hime is enough, and about as much as Saichiro can handle” I pointed out.

“You're paying more attention to me than usual” I mumbled, Mitsunari had abandoned the extra paper work he had and come over to read over my shoulder and hug me.  
“It's all a little sad, don't you think?” He replied, ignoring my comment, “I wish we hadn't come.”  
“Mitsunari, is something wrong?” I asked, shaking him off and frowning at him. He sighed and shook his head,  
“No, everything's fine.” I frowned at him, I knew he was lying,  
“Suit yourself.”

A chaotic bout of shouts and screams woke us that night, the sun long gone and not set to rise for a fair few hours. Without thinking we both ran to the scene to find Keiji and Sugimaru in the very halls, their swords drawn and destined for one another. Keiji's cheek was cut and his clothes ripped, Sugimaru was out of breath and shaking, not at all built for this.   
“How dare you declare me unfit to lead the Mei!” Keiji roared, “I could have you killed for that!”  
“You're only proving my point” Sugimaru shouted back. They went to swing at each other again.

“STOP IT!” Akizuki yelled, standing between the two, possibly a stupid move for someone who was almost strategist worthy. Sugimaru stopped immediately,   
“Omea, move” he snapped. Keiji struggled to bring his sword to a stop but he managed to grind to an unsteady halt and glared at Akizuki's back.  
“How about you settle this like cultured gentlemen” Akizuki sighed, “perhaps a game of Shogi.”

Although it was late the game began almost immediately, neither of them had anything to lose any more. They win, they won the clan, they lost...well who knows what they'd lose. I, having been kept up most of the night anyway, decided to go to bed. 

Sugimaru was an expert player when it came to Shogi, it was only natural for someone of his intellectual talents but Keiji was no fool either. Their moves constantly countered each other and they kept their king piece safe with ease. Sugimaru's theory applied perfectly, while Keiji's experience could only assist him. Mitsunari stayed up to watch, only they couldn't see him and he did not wish to be seen, he simply hid in a poorly lit corner with Akizuki. 

“Don't say a thing” hissed a voice in their ears and both felt blades being pressed against their throats. Both sat up straight as demanded and stayed silent, hardly daring to breath. A moment later they were dragged out and taken to one of the lesser used rooms, there hands tied and left, the shadow of a guard just visible outside. 

“She's going to kill me” Mitsunari sighed, leaning against the wall they'd made him sit against. Akizuki laughed,  
“Why would that be?”  
“She hates me making her worry” Mitsunari replied, “she'll be more annoyed I scared her than glad that I'm alive and well.” Akizuki laughed again,  
“I thought she might be like that, Sugimaru is the same, although he doesn't like showing it.” Mitsunari gave Akizuki a smile,  
“She speaks very highly of the both of you, almost constantly. It's a surprise she used to dislike Sugimaru.”

They talked for what felt like hours on end, while the game went on all this time.  
“Do you think they'll kill us?” Mitsunari asked, yawning, he wanted to sleep but the rope on his wrists had begun to cut into his skin and it kept him awake.  
“Maybe, Keiji will either want revenge on Sugimaru if he wins, or he'll just want to punish him if he loses” Akizuki sighed, “though what I don't understand is why he'd do this to you. I mean, what could he possibly hold against Uda?”  
“I imagine it comes across she supports Sugimaru more than Keiji, they've got on better for a while. Killing her would cause problems, it's a little difficult to make it look accidental or like a suicide. She'd refuse suicide anyway. Killing me however, that's easy, and it'll break Uda.”

“You don't love her I'm guessing” Akizuki sighed.   
“No, and although I've tried to keep it to myself I think she's caught on” Mitsunari replied, “the problem is she loves me, makes it a little difficult to not feel bad for her.” Akizuki laughed,  
“At least the two of you are friends, I wouldn't like to be a concubine who has to listen to constant complaints about your wife...I practically am that for Sugimaru anyway.”  
“Joys of being in a one sided relationship” Mitsunari sighed, “at least we're friends.”

Someone opened the door and both men turned to look.   
“Ah...a man with a sword” Mitsunari mumbled, leaning against the wall and pushing himself upwards, almost toppling over again when he managed to stand up. Akizuki had done the same and gave him an apprehensive glance. The man was big, bigger than the both of them, and looked how one of those evil thugs from fairy tales might. They moved further back as the man advanced on them until they found themselves against the southern wall. They jumped out of the way as he crashed into the wall, Mitsunari toppling over as he did. He turned his head only to see the man raising the sword. Except he didn't bring it down. Something came flying across the room and smashed against the man's head and knocked him out. Mitsunari turned his head slightly to see who had thrown it,  
“Uda?!”

I ran over to Mitsunari and pulled him into a hug, kissing all over his face and neck while he attempted to do the same.   
“I was so worried about you” I mumbled, holding his face in my hands as I rested my forehead against his, “I knew something was wrong when you weren't there and-”  
“Just untie the ropes” Mitsunari snapped, as ever himself once again. I sighed but smiled and then went round him and cut them with the small knife that was always tucked into my clothes. I then did the same for Akizuki,  
“Keiji won by the way” I added.

“You love her” Akizuki said to Mitsunari, the two were sat outside, a bottle of sake between them.  
“I don't” Mitsunari replied, looking on ahead to the lake that had always been the background to his childhood.  
“You do, if you didn't you wouldn't have asked her to cut the ropes after she'd spoken. You wouldn't let her kiss you, you'd shy away from it” Akizuki pointed out. Mitsunari didn't say anything.


	23. Little Birds

A few months after the dispute that occurred within the Mei Hideyoushi moved out to besiege Takamatsu castle, which belonged to the Mouri. Mitsunari was to go with him as usual, he was not just a page now and had begun to assist in managing supply lines but would fight when he had to. It was getting warm again, soon to become yet another one of the blistering summers we usually had.

“I want you to stay here” Mitsunari sighed, “please.” I shook my head,  
“I have to go with you, what if the same thing happens that did at Miki? I can't leave you alone if that happens.” Mitsunari grabbed my shoulders,  
“You're not going!” I blinked in surprise and leant back, eventually shaking him off. He sighed as his arms dropped by his sides, he then looked away,  
“I didn't mean to be like that. Please, stay here, I want Shuumune and Hidemune to stay as well.” I sighed...he was right...I was being completely irrational.   
“Alright. I'll stay.”

“Be careful...” I sighed, it was the morning he was leaving, who knew if I'd ever see him again? Something felt like it was about to happen, something big, something that would change everything.   
“You really have that little faith in me?” Mitsunari asked, raising an eyebrow at me.   
“I...er...” I sighed and looked away. Mitsunari laughed and came over, tipping my head up,  
“I'll be fine, how many times do I have to tell you?” 

“Chichi-ue!” Called a voice, the voice of Shuumune, who, now three, had turned out to quite enjoy running about. He collided with his Father's leg and almost floored him, but Mitsunari kept his balance and picked him up, tapping him on the nose and grinning. Shuumune giggled and hugged Mitsunari tightly, laughing right in his ear.   
“You're not going to see me for a while” Mitsunari sighed, “so are you going to be good for Ka-chan?” Shuumune frowned at him but nodded, hugging him again. Mitsunari sighed and stroked his hair,  
“I won't be gone for long.” 

As we had been left alone for the time being Shin invited us to Kiyosu, once again without asking Nobunaga. Still, it was nicer than being home alone, Osan and Osayu were pleasant company but I had found myself all to often being in some kind of conflict with the now seventeen year old twins. Anyway, it was nice to see my Uncle and cousins again, no awkwardness existed any more. Tama and Shin had grown on one another, and I don't think I'd ever seen Mitsuhide so happy.

Mitsuhide was old now...very old, he'd outlived what he was expected to by six years and was now almost blind in his right eye with his left slowly catching up. His hair had gone almost completely white and a few of his teeth had fallen out, but he did still seem to be going very strong – with some help from Shin of course. It had never struck me before, but she was actually much younger than Mitsuhide, he was 56 and she was only 49. Her hair was still mostly black, grey parts expertly hidden and her skin was almost perfect, which she accredited to bathing in ice water – an idea that had come from the Portuguese who had taken it from a French noble lady named Diane.

“Oh haven't they grown up” Shin beamed as she watched Mitsunaga, though now seventeen he was still a child at heart, playing with Shuumune. I smiled and nodded,  
“He likes to hear me read to him, and with all this running around – it'll be nice to have a son who is both intelligent and energetic.” Shin laughed,  
“Well, they do say men can't multi-task, Mitsuhide was like that in his younger days” Shin smiled, “even with everything that's happened, he's still got something of a childish spirit.” I smiled back,  
“Mitsunari can be like that sometimes, it's rare though.” 

A couple of days later I received a clearly quickly written note from Mitsunari telling me he was okay and a full letter from Sugimaru. 

Imouto

I hear you are at Kiyosu, at least this time I was warned.

I regret to inform you that Nana passed away a couple of weeks ago, but she was old so do not be too sad. She has been buried with her husband and Akizuki's elder brother, it's only right. 

I've been missing your company recently, and I cannot help but feel all alone. I suppose I should stop avoiding this. While I did lose the Shogi match on purpose, realising that Keiji would only kill me as he did to Kenichi, I am coming to regret it. He has reformed our alliance with Oda and got rid of every single officer who fought on the front lines for the Azai...he has removed all of our military power...Imouto...couldn't you have stayed to talk some sense into him?

Akizuki has been sent back to Kyushu now that Nana has passed

Help me Imouto

Sugimaru

I sighed and sat back after I'd read it...Keiji was just how I had expected him to be. Over the top, constantly over reacting about everything. No time to think about that.

Hideyoushi had called for reinforcements and Nobunaga had sent a faction and was now travelling to Honnou-ji, a temple in Kyoto. It was very pretty, I had been only once before but it was beautiful. It was a tall, black building covered in golden decoration, a sight fit for even the highest Gods. I would not, however, accompany them, Mitsuhide had asked that I come with him, keep me out of harms way. Oddly...Shin made me leave Shuumune and Hidemune with Hanabi and the girls. I wasn't allowed to refuse, she shouted me down if I tried and I gave in eventually. 

“Haha-ue” Shuumune grumbled, hugging my leg, “you can't go, Chichi-ue's already gone.” I picked him up and kissed him on the cheek,  
“Now, now honey, you'll be alright here” I smiled. However when I saw Hanabi and the girls later I told them to go back to Nagahama,  
“I've had this feeling for a while” I explained, “and I don't want any of you getting hurt.” Osayu took my hand,  
“Of course, Anne-ue, please be safe.”

When we set off I was asked to ride along side Mitsuhide and Shin, Tama did not join us but Mitsunaga and Mitsuyoshi had. An army of 16,000 followed us and on the way to where ever we were going I found myself crying. We were going to fight some unknown enemy...and I had walked right into Shin-hime's plan.   
“Who are we fighting, Mitsuyoshi?” I asked, keeping my voice down.  
“Oda, we're fighting Oda, hime-sama” he answered, “I'm sorry.” 

We certainly did intend to fight Oda as we arrived not far from Honnou-ji, clad in full armour with our army of 16,000, which would be nothing to the few that Nobunaga would have.   
“Why?!” I shouted at Shin, “why do we have to do this?!”  
“Because Nobunaga is not fit to rule this land!” Shin shouted back, slapping me, “Do not argue!”   
“Why have you dragged me into this?! I have children to be looking after” I continued, hardly phased by her slap. She smiled at me,  
“Why, Uda-hime, we need all the power we can get.” I glared at her and turned my back, going to sit and think. Why me?

I though of Mitsunari a little, surely if this failed then they'd have to kill me. Would he try and stop them or would he turn a blind eye to this? My boys as well, Hidemune would be just like me, never having any recollection of his mother whatsoever. Tama's words rung in my mind, “Don't die, until they are as crooked and old as Chichi-ue”, I sighed, silently apologising to her and hoping for her own safety.

Mitsunaga found me some time later and sat beside me,  
“It's difficult, isn't it” he sighed, “I don't want to do this either, and I know it's harder for you. You have two sons.” I smiled at him,  
“I think we're equal, I suppose your family won't listen.” He sighed,  
“I always wanted to see this age end, but I don't think I'm going to. Before we know it Shibata, Hashiba and Tokugawa will come to destroy Akechi. We do not have the man power to put them down.”  
“Why won't you run away?” I asked.  
“Duty” he answered.

“Uda-hime...will you see the end of this age for me?” He asked, as he looked up at the cloudless sky. Soon...  
“What do you mean?” I asked.  
“I want you to live on until the end of this age, whoever wins, I want you to live and tell me all about it when I see you again” he explained, “I'm not going to live through this.” I turned to him,  
“You can't say that! You're young, you can't die yet!” He simply smiled,  
“You know it too Uda-hime.” I was at loss, no idea what to say to him. So I leant forward and kissed him on the forehead,  
“Ganbarimasu.”

As dawn came we made our move and feigned a procession through Kyoto, this was normal and on one doubted it. However, when reaching the gorgeous black walls of Honnou-ji Mitsuhide said words that would fill every book, every poem, every account of this.  
“Teki wa Honnou-ji ni ari!” The enemy is at Honnou-ji.

Immediate chaos began, people from the streets ran from the scene as the entire two front lines charged at the temple walls, beating and trying to break the door while the few generals who had joined Nobunaga came out with the few soldiers they had. We crushed them. Destroyed them without hesitation. I saw familiar faces falling, both soldier and lord that I had spoken to or drank with. Blood stained those gorgeous temple walls, coating them in yet another nightmare. 

I had lost my usual expertise in battle, I found myself stumbling and silently crying as I passed old friends like I had at Odani. No one seemed to be there any more.  
“Hime-sama!” Shouted a voice, one of the soldiers who had been put as second in command.  
“Go on ahead” I called back, “take my post.” They were determined to get rid of Nobunaga and his family, I was not. They could take up the job that they were so eager to do, all I wanted was peace. 

I made my way around the back of the temple, intending to betray. It had been a quick decision but if there was any way that they were going to escape it was this way. Regretfully I smashed a hole in the temple wall, knowing that Nobunaga and his family would be in here. I was certainly right and saw they had barricaded that door with assortments of furniture.  
“Uda-hime?!” Nou-hime stuttered, grabbing her own naginata which lay against the wall, just waiting to be used. I placed mine on the ground and put my hands up,  
“I want to help you.” Nobunaga glared at me,  
“And why would that be, you are closer related to Mitsuhide, go help your wretched family.” I shook my head,  
“I cannot support something that I do not agree with.” Ranmaru got to his feet and nodded at me,  
“She's right, we should trust her for now.” Nobunaga frowned but nodded,  
“Ranmaru, Nou, go with her, I shall stay here.”  
“Nobunaga-sama!” Nou-hime cried, looking rather surprised, “aught you to come with us?!”  
“I must confront Mitsuhide.”

So, with Nou-hime crying and Ranmaru looking rather regretful, we made our way out of the back. Nobunaga meanwhile removed the barricade and Ranmaru lit the temple on fire at his request.  
“We can make it out of Kyoto if we go this way, we'll go undetected easily” I said, leading the way.  
“How do you know” Ranmaru asked, grabbing my arm.  
“Mitsuhide decided that I should be part of his forces, or should I say Shin” I answered.  
“Shin is behind this?” Nou asked, rubbing her eyes as she tripped over her skirts.   
“It looks to be the case” I sighed. I had to save them, I couldn't leave them behind, I hadn't even wanted to leave Nobunaga behind but he had firmly protested against coming with us so I'd had to give in. 

Nou-hime screamed and I heard her collapse not a second later, both Ranmaru and I whirled around and saw Shin stood with Mitsunaga, a bow and arrow in her hand.  
“DAMN YOU” I shouted and rushed at her, swinging at her as soon as I was in range of her. Shin laughed as I continued, anger making it too easy for her to dodge of defend herself,  
“Oh this is too easy Uda-hime!” She shrieked with laughter, she had officially lost the plot. 

Her laughter continued until I managed to knock the naginata out of her hand, her intended carelessness coming back to bite her. I shoved her to the floor, catching her foot with mine and knocking her to the ground. I held the blade of my naginata to her throat and waited,  
“Why did you do this?” I repeated my question from the day before and glared at her. She gave no answer.  
“Tell me!” I shouted, pressing the blade against her throat. She started laughing again,  
“So I could take the throne of course.” I drove the blade into her neck, she need not say any more.

I turned to find that Ranmaru and Mitsunaga had been fighting, and neither was going to win, they had both just driven their swords through each other, Ranmaru's stuck out of Mitsunaga's left side while Mitsunaga's stuck out of Ranmaru's right. I grabbed them both and dragged them to one of the sub-temples, hiding them in there as the full glow of Honnou-ji lit the sky, making it a glorious and terrifying orange and black rather than the familiar morning blue of summer.

“You'll be safe here” I smiled at them as I shut the door. I knelt between them and wiped the blood off their faces, continuing to smile at them. I could only hope that the tears that threatened to spill would never dare appear.   
“Uda-hime, arigato gozaimasu” Ranmaru mumbled, his voice weak and tired but he returned the smile. Mtisunaga did the same and I couldn't help myself then, the tears spilling down my cheeks as I realised how young they looked and were. I stroked their faces gently, doing my best to keep on smiling as I sang to them. 

Sleep well little birds  
While the sun does not shine  
May your dreams be sweet  
I'll see you in the morning light

May you see what you wish  
May your dreams be undisturbed   
May your wishes come true  
And your goals be right

Sleep well little birds  
While the sun does not shine  
May your dreams be sweet  
And may you be at peace

They both had their eyes closed when I stopped singing and their chests had stopped rising and falling. I sighed and kissed them both on the forehead,  
“Gomenasai...”


	24. The Demise of the Great Akechi Mitsuhide

All of a sudden it seemed that thousands of screams filled the air and you could hear the roar of Honnou-ji as it burnt. The fire was doing it's work I suppose. I got up and went out, shutting the door as I did...I hoped the fire would catch, the only memory of them would belong to me by the end of this, I had to keep my promise didn't I? I ran back to where Shin lay dead and found Mitsuhide in a state of shock. He was shaking, his hands over his face while he knelt beside her.

“Oji-ue?” I asked, kneeling across from him, “let's go.” He looked up at me and I could only really see the tears that were running down his face. His old bones creaked the most as I helped him stand again, no voice sounded other than a horse whisper so I had to call the army back myself. I lead him to his horse and he just managed to pull himself up, his hands were too tight on the reigns and I heard him take in a sharp breath as he winced.  
“Daijoubu, Oji-ue” I smiled, taking his hand and looking up at him. He gave me a small, pain filled smile back before I let go and got up on my own horse.

The next move was to go after Nobutada and though I tried to stop myself I found myself giving Mitsuhide some encouragement – he'd lost heart since he'd found Shin. It had been a different with Nobunaga, he had humiliated Mitsuhide and lied to him many times and even got his mother killed. Nou-hime and Ranmaru had been lost simply because they continued to support Nobunaga, and I suppose it was my fault. I should have tried to talk them into joining us. 

“Where's Jin?” Mitsuhide asked, we were making our way to Azuchi castle, where Nobutada and his family had fled to. I glanced at him and looked away, I lifted my head and looked on ahead,  
“He and Ranmaru killed one another.” To my surprise Mitsuhide let out a quiet laugh,  
“How correct, friends until the very end.” I glanced at him and gave him a small smile,  
“Yes, I suppose it fits them well, they were the same age?” Mitsuhide nodded,  
“Just about.” I could see the tears again, but he was smiling just a little.

When the assault on Azuchi castle came upon us I made one demand,  
“Sanposhi and Yoshimaru aren't to die” I said, standing in front of Mitsuhide and glaring at him.  
“Oh please the eldest boy is two, I'm not so heartless as to kill children” he snapped back. I smiled and told the same man to take my place, I had no faith in any of them so I was going to escort them to safety personally. 

I hardly knew Azuchi castle and had to run through corridor after corridor before I found them. Matsuhime was sat, huddled in a corner holding onto her two sons for dear life. I could see the look of utter terror on her face and I could hear both of the boys crying. What had we done?   
“Matsuhime” I said quietly, smiling at her gently, “please, come with me.” She looked up at me and only held her sons closer, stuttering as she said,  
“G-go away Ake-Akechi wretch!” I sighed,  
“Please, come with me, Matsuhime” I repeated, kneeling and bowing so my forehead almost touched the ground, “please.” She looked at me in surprise as I looked up at her again. Slowly she nodded and stood up, leading the way as she knew this place better than anyone. 

I gave her Shin's horse, which had followed us all the way here, and sent her down the road to Kyoto, I knew she'd be safe there and I also spotted a messenger on the same road.  
“Where are you going” I asked the messenger, having gone down the road with them a little to ensure they were safe.  
“To ask for help from Hashiba” he answered. I nodded,  
“Make haste” I then got out of his way and he continued on his way. 

“What do we do now?” I asked, sitting beside Mitsuhide who had a map in front of him with some markers on it. There were ones for where Hideyoushi, Katsuie and Ieyasu were, and others where important lords were that we'd need on our side.   
“No armies can arrive for at least a few days” Mitsuhide sighed, “we should contact the royal court and lords close by, have them accept the Akechi as the new rulers.” 

I didn't sleep well that night, in unfamiliar walls, without my children or husband close by was very unsettling. I had no one to come and comfort me when I woke in the middle of the night, shaking and screaming from the dreams. It didn't seem to poison anyone else, no else seemed to wake up all of a sudden, trying to grab for something that was a comfort. They were all used to it, they'd been doing it for years on end and I was an amateur...so surely they'd go some day?

A few days later Mitsuhide started giving orders to his men, having declared himself Shogun even though his army still numbered roughly sixteen thousand. I could only think this would not end well, and it was going to fall apart eventually. He had not even managed to get Hosokawa Fujitaka on his side, even though Tama was married to his son, Tadaoki. Everyone could already see it was the end, however no one spoke a word.

Not even two weeks after Honnou-ji we were being chased by Hideyoushi's army. With troops positioned by the river and on the mountain we had thought we had given ourselves choke holds and it would be easier on the army/ Hideyoushi's numbers were far superior to ours already and it was hardly encouraging that some had to break off to attack Tokugawa Ieyasu before he could come to assist Hideyoushi. 

However the mountain fell very quickly and the troops were then arranged behind the Enmyo-ji river. It was an excellent defensive position and once again Mitsuhide put me in charge of a unit, though I protested. I kept looking for a gap, a window, anything so I could defect and join Hideyoushi's side and stop myself getting killed at the end of this. Yet seeing how my old and crooked Uncle had become such a wreck over this seemed to stop me, he was going to die soon anyway...I couldn't leave him, could I?

The morning after Hideyoshi had sent ninja into our ranks, letting them kill who they please and lighting buildings on fire, we found ourselves up against the actual army. At first we attempted to go across the river but were driven back by gun fire, losing quite a lot of our forces within the first few hours. Some men fled and I gave mine the choice, they go if they wished to. Few stayed and I could not blame them at all. Eventually it dwindled down to just me left of my unit as Hideyoushi's left and right wings had practically destroyed the force and pushed us all the way back to Shoryu-ji.

At that point I turned my back and fled myself, looking for my Uncle while Mimaki Kaneaki led two hundred soldiers into the blood bath. I found my uncle and pulled him up onto my horse and continued down the closest road to where ever it would take us. He clung to me as I continued without a word, I didn't care where we ended up. Just some where we were safe. That was all that was on my mind. Safety. 

Just outside of a town called Ogurusu Mitsuhide asked I stop.  
“No, we must continue” I insisted, “they'll find us here.” He shook his head and got down, no element of emotion seeming to be left in him. No regret over Shin or Mitsunaga. No upset over Mitsuyoshi, who now lay dead at Yamazaki. Nothing. Just a shell. He led the way into a forest and knelt under an ancient looking birch tree. 

He pulled his tanto out from under his clothes, having taken off his armour,  
“I suppose I may not be following tradition” he sighed, “but I cannot continue.” I stared at down at him and leant down, slowly lifting his sword as he unsheathed the blade.   
“Oji-ue” I mumbled as he spoke a final poem, perhaps for me to tell others. He knew I wouldn't follow him through a death like this, I'd argued with him many times over whether it truly was honourable or not. He knew I wouldn't stop him either. So I stood behind him as he drove the blade into his stomach and slit it open. I swung his sword quickly and with enough force, hoping that nothing was too painful. 

Akechi Mitsuhide was dead.


	25. A Pardoning

I spent a moment staring at his now headless body before dropping the sword and my knees hit the ground. I felt the tears come and I started screaming, having to rest my head on the ground so it muffled them some what. I'm sure the people whom the priest had left behind in Portugal and Spain could hear me. I held onto my stomach and just cried into the ground. I had done a terrible thing. Why had I not just left with Hanabi and the girls? Why hadn't I defected? I wouldn't be as good as dead myself...I wouldn't have had to kill anyone. 

“What's all this racket?!” Someone demanded and I got up and grabbed Mitsuhide's sword again, glaring at whoever the speaker was. However I lowered it and stared in surprise.  
“Masa-Masanori-san?” I asked. Stood before me was the oaf that Mitsunari had managed to finally make a grudging friend out of, though it was very much temporary the way it was going.   
“Uda-hime?” He replied, looking equally as surprised, he then turned his head, “Mitsunari!” 

“What do you want?” He demanded as he appeared from the clump of trees. However he stopped when he saw me, he knelt in front of me and tipped my head up, smiling at me,  
“It's been a while.” Masanori was staring at him, completely dumb folded,  
“You're treating her so kindly?! She's been fighting on Akechi's side!”   
“And she's clearly had to kill him” Mitsunari snapped back, “had a bit of heart Masanori.” Mitsunari took off my armour, leaving me in hardly anything at all and then wrapped the outer layer jacket he wore around me. He then picked me up, adding,  
“Masanori, would you carry the armour for me? It cost more than I was truly willing to pay and I'm still paying off my debt.” 

“Uda?” Hideyoushi muttered when Mitsunari and Masanori appeared from the edge of the forest, carrying me and my armour.  
“She's in a state of shock, Hideyoushi-sama” Mitsunari explained, “if I may suggest that she's left be for a little.” Hideyoushi glared at him for a moment but nodded, his wife, Nene, got down from her horse and came over to Mitsunari, helping him sit me on his horse. He then pulled himself up and sat behind me, holding onto me so I wouldn't fall off as we followed Hideyoushi. Masanori didn't look too pleased but he placed my armour into a cart being pulled by oxen before getting on his own horse and following as well. The other man who was with them, Kiyomasa, looked at me rather sympathetically. I doubt he had any sympathy for me really, but my state seemed to have shocked them all. 

They were all used to me being rather vocal, singing to pass the time and always talking with someone about some ridiculous subject. This time I just sat, my head hanging a little, relying on Mitsunari to keep me upright. Realistically they would have just killed me on the spot, and I had no idea what had stopped them.  
“What has induced this?” Hideyoushi asked when we stopped at a town on the way to Nagahama as night fell. Mitsunari had just lifted me down and turned to him,  
“She was Mitsuhide's second.” Hideyoushi sighed and simply nodded before going to join Nene who was calling him over repeatedly. 

I didn't eat with them, instead I just slept and slept and slept.   
“Tenshi” whispered a gently voice, shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes slowly to find Mitsunari sat beside me and gently smiling at me. I rubbed my eyes and sat up, glad to be in proper clothes again.   
“I brought you something to eat, you can't have eaten for at least a day” he sighed, kissing me on the forehead softly. It wasn't much but it made my stomach growl, he was right, I hadn't eaten for almost two days. Yet still I rejected the food. Mitsunari gave a sigh,  
“And they call me stubborn.” 

He pulled me to him, leaning my head on his chest and gently stroking my hair,  
“You've got to eat, I can't have you dying on me just yet.”  
“Won't Hideyoushi kill me anyway?” I asked, it was the first complete sentence I had spoken since Mitsuhide had declared that the forest was the best place.  
“I'll do everything within my power to stop him doing so” Mitsunari reassured me, “I can't bare the thought of Shuumune and Hidemune losing you.” I sighed and lifted my head, I didn't smile or anything but something seemed to bring Mitsunari to tears and he kissed me gently, running his hand through my hair.

He finally managed to get me to eat and I slept in his arms, safe and sound. When the dreams came they worse than ever as my head now gave me Shin's laughter to accompany her death which brought a raging guilt crashing into me. I made me move about in my sleep more than ever and I woke Mitsunari up, who in turn shook me awake. My vision took time to correct itself and I screamed in the first instant.   
“Shh, shh” He hummed, “it's just me.” I ended up just crying into his chest.

“Why did you do it?” He asked, neither of us wanting to sleep. I shrugged,  
“I don't know, I knew something was wrong so I sent Hanabi, Osayu and Osan back to Nagahama with Shuumune and Hidemune. Why I stayed myself...I don't know.” Mitsunari sighed and kissed my forehead gently,  
“Did Mitsuhide guilt you into it?” I shook my head,  
“I guess Shine did, she kept doing her best to stop me leaving.”   
“Shin? And what happened to her?” He replied.  
“I killed her.” Mitsunari looked rather surprised but he simply nodded and kissed me again.

Someone knocked on the door the next morning, waking the both of us up. We quickly pulled on the clothes we had thrown off the night before and while I sat, my attention completely focused on the two necklaces, Mitsunari answered.  
“Hi-Hideyoushi-sama” he stuttered, very much surprised, especially as Hideyoushi just pushed straight past him and sat himself down in front of me. I stared at him, too surprised to speak, simply waiting for him to say something.  
“I received this from Matsuhime late last night” he said, placing a letter down in front of me, “you saved her personally?” I nodded, not really sure what to say.   
“She is safe and well in Kyoto and so are her two sons” Hideyoushi continued, “and it has come to my attention from a defector that you were the one to the kill the instigator?”  
“I...I killed Shin, yes” I answered, was I even answering correctly?

“However you did also leave your two young sons alone while betraying Oda, I could go on” Hideyoushi sighed.  
“Hideyoshi-sama” Mitsunari started.  
“Silence Ishida!” Hideyoushi snapped and Mitsunari went silent, not daring to speak a word. I got up onto my knees and bowed,  
“I understand what I've done is easily punishable by death, and I will graciously accept that.” I could see Mitsunari out of the very corner of my eye shaking his head frantically while Hideyoushi ignored him. Hideyoushi instead glared at me, finally deciding,  
“We leave at midday, you shall be coming with us.” He then got up and left.

Mitsunari really did start crying at that point and he grabbed me and pulled me over, cuddling me close to his chest,  
“Don't ever do that again.”   
“Do what?” I asked, pulling away and wondering whatever he meant.  
“Graciously accepting death for that? Not on my watch” he replied. I didn't really understand but I gave him a small smile as he sniffled and hugged me again.

When we finally returned to Nagahama Osan and Osayu happened to be outside, playing with Shuumune and Hidemune.   
“Look who it is” Osan said, shaking her sister's shoulder and nodding to us. I beamed at them and waved while Shuumune got up on his chubby little feet and ran to us. I laughed and picked him up, hugging him very tightly. Mitsunari laughed,  
“I think he missed us.”

However that night, when sat together in our room Mitsunari started questioning me.   
“Why did you join Akechi?” He asked, and even though he had already asked he kept repeating himself whenever I told him I didn't know.   
“Mitsunari, please stop asking” I sighed eventually, turning away. He frowned at me and grabbed my shoulder, making me turn around.   
“Why can't you just tell me?!” He snapped.  
“Because I don't know, they forced me into it, I've told you!” I shouted back, I was contradicting myself but I couldn't think of another reason to give him.

He slapped me right across the face, hard enough to emit a loud crack and to make my head turn. I turned back slowly and stared at him, open mouthed. How could he... It was not uncommon for a husband to do this to his wife, it was certainly frowned upon to do in public eye but otherwise it was perfectly acceptable. Yet Mitsunari had always come across as the type not to do that, not only was he too lazy to leave his work but he hadn't seemed to like the idea of it in the first place. 

I slowly rose to my feet, my face stinging and red, and made my way to the door.  
“Uda come here” he said, not turning even to look at my back as he made his ridiculous demand. I ignored him and carried on, opening the door.  
“Uda come here” he repeated, still not getting up to stop me. I walked out and he gave up calling for me to come back   
I think it may have been at that point that I realised that I genuinely loved Mitsunari, or I had anyway. It hadn't occurred to me that perhaps I accidentally fallen in love with him again while attempting to hold our “grudging friendship” together. It was obvious now of course, the nights he had spent with me of his own accord, when he could have been working or with another woman or man. Then there was the time when I had found him with Akizuki and he had let me kiss him and just hold him before I cut the ropes. Maybe he'd fallen in love with me as well...

Not that that mattered any more, how dare I let myself fall in love with such a man. I don't care what's normal, I had my own set of rules that I would play by and that was one of the ones I went against. My hate seemed so sudden and intense that not even the cool night seemed to work on me. I stood under the tree, watching the stars and willing myself to go back inside, it was cold even though it was almost the middle of summer. 

I let out a screech as someone collided with me from behind and shoved me onto the floor, sitting on my back. I struggled against them, trying to shake them off me but they were much heavier than I was and I was surprised that my back didn't break. They managed to grab my arms and pulled them into a ridiculously painful position and tied my wrists.   
“Surely you saw this coming, didn't you, Uda-hime?” They asked, their voice raspy and...unpleasant. They didn't allow me to answer as they gagged me.

They pulled me to my feet and used my hair to make me walk the direction they wanted me to, pulling if I stumbled or tried to run away.   
“Come on now, don't be like this” they laughed as I tried to call for help against the material they'd shoved into my mouth and then fastened in place. I once again tried to struggle against them, I still knew my way back home from here. Failing once again I was thrown onto a cart, hitting my head on what I presumed was either a box or a seat.

“UTA!”

The shout seemed to keep me just conscious, the smack to the head had hurt and I was vaguely surprised that it hadn't killed me.   
“Go! Go!” The person with the horrible voice shouted at the person I assumed to be driving the cart. I felt it jolt and I rolled a little, rocking side to side as it did. There was a kind of choking sound not far off and something that sounded like a gush of blood. The cart stopped and I heard them get down. The same choking and gushing sounds filled the air and not a second later someone else pulled themselves up onto the cart beside me.

“Uta...” they repeated, untying the gag and pulling the material out of my mouth.  
“Mitsunari...” I mumbled, squinting at him, able to make out his gentle smile. He stroked my cheek gently and leant down and kissed me, putting his arms around me and sitting me on his lap. He stank of fresh blood but it went unnoticed.  
“I've got you” he smiled, sitting me back down and cutting the ropes, “I'll never do that again, I promise.”

He carried me back in silence and I clung to him, my arms tight around his neck, occasionally sniffling as the shock of what had happened hit me. Nene was waiting at the gates of Nagahama, she'd heard the scuffle and had come to inspect.  
“They were Toyoa, I imagine letting Mitsuhide die, let alone being the one to kill him, made them come after her” she sighed. I rubbed my nose against Mitsunari's neck and cried, they didn't even have the decency to meet with me before they tried to kill me. Wasn't that more deceiving?   
“Shh, shh” Mitsunari hummed, “it's alright.” I knew it was alright, but it didn't feel that way.

At home, after having checked on Shuumune and Hidemune, Mitsunari called me back and apologised again.  
“It's alright” I sighed, “it's not like you'd do it again, especially if you're apologising this much.” He smiled and pulled me over, seeming to be inspecting me. He played about with my hair as he stared into my eyes, a smile on his face. It was a little strange but I enjoyed the attention.

When I woke up the next morning, Hidemune not yet calling for me, the sun was shining into the room and a gentle breeze sounding from outside. I was snuggled up to Mitsunari who was still fast asleep, for once it was peaceful and his snores hardly made it sound light. I thought that, just for a moment, that I had done right in staying by Mitsuhide. Oda, a great tyrant to the land had been cut from existence, and any threat that Shin or Mitsuhide could have possessed was also destroyed. Yes, there were still battles to fight, lives to lose but for once the thought of Odani felt distant. Never to be relived again.


End file.
